Can't Sleep..
Still can't sleep.. It's nearly 6am.. I'm all shaky and I'm not sure if it's my emotions or the 4 cups of hot tea I've had.. Apparently after drinking no caffeine for 3 months and then downing 4 20 ounce cups of tea in a matter of a few hours can have a strange effect on you.. *shrug* Who knew. It's very uncomfortable actually.. My neck is especially shaky, and that's weird..
So Ever After didn't make me cry.. I did finally fall asleep for about 20 minutes, but I woke up.. And luckily then Dominique and Matthew woke up because Dominique works at a God-awful time in the moring so I had someone to talk to and hug..And as soon as I said everything out loud I cried. And I do feel better now, but strangely torn. There's a part of me that wants to push and fight and chase after a dream that the rest of me knows I can't chase.
Okay.. I need to sleep.. Because I just realized I'm smiling now. I know if I'm smiling right now I'm either hysterical, crazy, delirious or something of that nature. All of a sudden I had the strangest, overpowering feeling that everything's going to work out in the end. And not just the "it'll be okay" feeling. It was the "It's going to be exactly as I imagined it" feeling. Which nothing ever is. Well.. Somethings are. My New year's eve was! :) But I digress.. I just hope I can keep my sanity while he's holding onto my heart.. Goodnight..
So Ever After didn't make me cry.. I did finally fall asleep for about 20 minutes, but I woke up.. And luckily then Dominique and Matthew woke up because Dominique works at a God-awful time in the moring so I had someone to talk to and hug..And as soon as I said everything out loud I cried. And I do feel better now, but strangely torn. There's a part of me that wants to push and fight and chase after a dream that the rest of me knows I can't chase.
Okay.. I need to sleep.. Because I just realized I'm smiling now. I know if I'm smiling right now I'm either hysterical, crazy, delirious or something of that nature. All of a sudden I had the strangest, overpowering feeling that everything's going to work out in the end. And not just the "it'll be okay" feeling. It was the "It's going to be exactly as I imagined it" feeling. Which nothing ever is. Well.. Somethings are. My New year's eve was! :) But I digress.. I just hope I can keep my sanity while he's holding onto my heart.. Goodnight..