A terrible shot
*In the farthest-from-the-door alley at Sal's Shoot-'Em-Up (a 24-hour indoor shooting range), Ted stood with his somewhat-shiny-but-mostly-matte-black Firestar 9mm pistol, holding it in a teacup grip (not that he knew what it was called, he'd just seen it on cop shows and stuff, and the teacher who'd been with him earlier in the night showed him how to do it right) and firing at a target at the far end of the range. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Tapping a switch next to him, he started the motor that would bring his target to him, and saw with pleasant surprise that he'd gotten one on the paper this time. With some fumbling, he took the clip out of his pistol, loaded up another seven shots, and slapped it home to try again.*