Fic: Destiny of a Hunter - Dean/Castiel - R - DCBB - 5/5
The Destiny of a Hunter 5/5
INFO
PART 4
Dean sensed that there was something up even before he felt the tug of dislocation. When the bright flash cleared, he stood in a field of tall grass. There was nothing as far as the eye could see. The vast featureless field went on forever until the horizon, and the sky was clear blue and cloudless. Although it was bright and sunny, and Dean had no shade to hide from the heat, he wasn't hot. The air was perfect, filled with the sweet smell of flowers.
Wherever he was, Dean was alone and weaponless.
Dean balled his hands into fists and screamed for Castiel. When nothing happened, he wrinkled his nose in disgust and muttered. "This is your doing, Gabriel." He picked a direction and began to walk. Dean could feel the anger building with each step he took, and when he saw Gabriel again, because there was no doubt that this was Gabriel's doing, Dean vowed to tear him a new one. Muttering one curse after another under his breath, Dean called the angel every nasty name he could think up while inventing new ones.
After what felt like hours of walking, Dean stopped in his tracks. He lifted his arm to shield his eyes from the sun, and squinted beneath the glare. The tree could have been a mirage, but Dean had nowhere else to go. He continued his journey and his cursing. It felt as though the tree got farther away the more he walked, but eventually, Dean could see the individual leaves and that there was a figure standing beneath them. Dean picked up the pace.
"I swear, if that is you Gabriel, I will kill your ass," Dean muttered as he ran. It wasn't Gabriel, but it was another angel. Castiel stood under the tree with his back to Dean. He turned at Dean's approach and tilted his head at Dean.
Dean stopped beneath the shade of the tree and stood before Castiel.
"I can't fly from here," Castiel said, answering Dean's first unspoken question. "And yes," Castiel added with a sigh of exasperation. "...this is my brother's doing."
The wind rustled the leaves in the branches and Dean looked down to see that there was a red and white checkered blanket laid out on the ground beneath the tree. A basket appeared before his eyes.
"Is that what I think...?" Dean asked even as he moved to examine the basket. He crouched down beside it and flipped the lid up. There was a wine bottle, two wine glasses, and an apple pie inside. Dean flipped the lid shut and stood.
Dean glanced down and realized that Castiel had not moved from his spot since Dean had arrived.
"I can't move. I have been rooted to this spot since I was forced here."
"Seriously?" Dean cocked a brow and looked up. "Get your sorry ass down here, angel of annoyance," Dean said, pointing at the ground.
Dean spun around when he heard the flurry of wings behind him.
"Hi, guys," said Gabriel with a cheerful wave of one hand.
"Get us back to the house now," Dean said. He rushed forward, bearing down on Gabriel who arched his back and leaned away from Dean.
"Nope," he said, batting his eyes a few times. Dean felt the displacement again and, when he could open his eyes against the glare of bright lights, he found himself standing beside Gabriel with Castiel on Gabriel's other side. Gabriel had his arms around their shoulders.
"Gabriel," Castiel growled and tried to shrug him off, but Gabriel wasn't having any of that.
"You two lovebirds are going to work out your thing," Gabriel said, slapping them both on the cheeks as he spoke.
Dean flinched and barely had time to process what Gabriel was saying before the angel vanished from between them. He lost his balance and fell into Castiel. Lucky for Dean, Castiel seemed to have a perfect sense of balance. He caught Dean before he could fall flat on his ass.
"What the hell?" Dean said, thanking Castiel with a nod. They both straightened and turned around at the sound of wings behind them.
"Yup," Gabriel said. He had a smug expression on his face and his arms were crossed. "This thing you two got going..." he motioned at the two of them, crossed his fingers, and rolled his eyes at them."It needs to be resolved pronto before you explode."
Dean lunged at Gabriel, but Castiel stopped him with a firm hand on his chest.
"There's nothing between us," Dean said, curling his lip with a sneer.
"Tsk, tsk," Gabriel said. He wagged a finger in Dean's face. "You two crazy kids work this out. We'll take care of finding the big baddie. Don't worry," Gabriel leaned forward and slapped them both on their shoulders. "I've got everything under control."
With those words, Gabriel vanished, leaving them alone. Dean lunged forward and grasped at thin air.
"Get us out of here, Cas," Dean said, rage bubbling over. It was insane. Something had possession of Lisa, and was at that moment doing who knew what to her and Gabriel was playing matchmaker. Dean balled his fists and thumped his own leg turning on the spot in frustration.
"I can't," Castiel said.
Dean twirled around to find Castiel standing with his head down, a scowl on his face. Dean watched Castiel take a deep breath and concentrate, but nothing happened. Castiel's shoulders sagged and he shook his head with defeat.
"You have to do something," Dean said.
Castiel's rueful expression said it all. Dean knew that if Castiel could do something, he would have already done whatever it was that he could have done. Dean's heart sank.
"I will have words with Gabriel when he returns," Castiel said.
"I'm going to do more than have words with him," Dean said. He threw his arms in the air and walked over to the base of the tree, sitting down on the grass to lean against the trunk. There was nothing else to do. Trapped there, they had no other choice but to wait until Gabriel saw fit to return. He settled against the trunk and closed his eyes.
Castiel sighed, and then Dean heard the whisper of cloth as the angel sat down close to him. "I apologize for my brother."
"You know your brother's a total dick," Dean said.
"I am aware of this," Castiel said. "Gabriel has always been the troublemaker in the family."
"No kidding." Dean cracked one eye open and looked at Castiel, who sat leaning against the tree with one knee bent up and an arm resting on the knee. A warm breeze ruffled Castiel's short hair, and Dean felt the urge to reach out and run his fingers through the soft spikes.
"I do realize that he has been a consistent source of irritation in your life," Castiel said, a rueful expression on his face.
"He killed me a million times, so yeah, I would say he's a source..." Dean made air quotes. "...of irritation in my life."
Castiel tilted his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. A sigh of exasperation escaped his lips. They sat like that for a while in silence. Dean started to realize there was something weird about this place and then it hit him. The only sound he could hear was the wind. There were no birds, insects, or anything. He looked down at the ground, giving it a closer examination. He couldn't see any bugs.
The silence stretched and the sun seemed to hover in the sky, though in truth it had moved across the horizon. Castiel sat plucking grass from the ground and tossing it into the air.
"This is crazy," Dean said. "We have a bad guy to catch. Doesn't he understand that?" The words seemed to echo, filling the air around them. He turned to face Castiel, who stopped what he'd been doing to look up at Dean.
"I've tried to contact anyone I could, but I seem to be cut off from Heaven," Castiel said. Dean could see the expression of fear build in Castiel's eyes. The last time Heaven had been out of his reach, Castiel had almost turned human. Dean could just imagine the dread going through him at this moment.
"Screw this," Dean said. He lunged forward and cupped Castiel's shoulder with one hand, yanking the angel closer so that he could press their mouths together. Castiel gave into the kiss without hesitation. Dean rolled them to a more comfortable position, where he lay atop Castiel, their legs tangled together. He placed one hand on the back of Castiel's neck, shivering at the tickle of small hairs against his palm.
When they pulled apart, Dean took a deep breath and rested his forehead against Castiel's forehead. He brushed his thumb across Castiel's parted lips and stared into his eyes. They looked so blue, bluer than Dean could remember them being. Maybe it was the sky above them or maybe it was something else; Dean didn't know. All he knew for sure at that moment was that he wanted to kiss Castiel hard again and he never wanted to stop. He mashed their mouths together, and Castiel made a sound deep in his throat much like a growl. He flipped Dean over and pinned him against the cool grass, and Dean deepened the kiss, hungry for more. His dick was hard, and he thrust up against Castiel, who broke the kiss to stare down at Dean.
"This feels good," Castiel said in that weird awkward way he had of saying things that made it sound like he was stating a fact he had just discovered.
Dean nodded agreement and pulled Castiel down to crush their lips together again. The more they kissed, the more Dean wanted. He tilted his head and licked Castiel's wet mouth once, twice, then a third time when he got the desired reaction from Castiel. Dean was sure he hadn't whimpered when Castiel broke the kiss and straddled Dean's hips, well, maybe he had just a little, but it felt so good.
Castiel felt so good.
Castiel stroked Dean's chest with both hands, taking his time as he felt every curve of his muscles and Dean bucked up again, looking down at his obvious erection. Castiel's own pants bulged, and Dean grabbed Castiel by the thighs. It was so much different from being with a woman. Castiel had stubble and his body was all hard lines, no soft curves, and his chest was flat. Dean sat up and yanked Castiel's trench coat off, pushing it aside, then he slid his suit jacket from his shoulders. That time, when their eyes locked, Dean's breath hitched and he felt naked trapped in Castiel's intense gaze.
"Can you read my mind?" Dean said, the sound of his own husky voice taking him by surprise.
When Castiel nodded, Dean could hold back no longer. He pushed Castiel back, pinning him beneath him and smothered another kiss against his lips. He wanted to brand him so the whole world could see that the man, the angel, belonged to Dean Winchester. Dean sat up, startled at his thoughts. He looked up to the sky, expecting retribution for his blasphemy. It must be against all laws of nature or Heaven or something but, when nothing happened, just as it hadn't the last time they had done the horizontal tango, and all he could hear around them was their combined panting breaths, Dean bent to kiss Castiel again.
The kiss was slow and languorous and this time Dean took his time, made sure to taste every corner of Castiel's hungry mouth, sucking on his bottom lip, licking the wet mouth. Castiel bucked against him and made a sound deep in his throat. Dean smiled against Castiel's full lips, and rubbed his thumb across Castiel's cheek, enjoying the feel of soft stubble, and then kissed him again.
With the leaves rustling above them, Dean divested Castiel of his shirt and tie, taking care to caress and touch every inch of skin that he exposed. Castiel remained silent, attention riveted to Dean.
Dean stared down at Castiel's perfect skin, wondering how he could have ever marred that flesh with any knife. Dean bent to kiss and lick warm skin, shivering when Castiel touched a hand to Dean's head. He thought how he should have been terrified of what he was feeling, but he wasn't. It had been a long time coming. Dean could remember the exact moment that he had looked at Castiel and felt his insides flip at the thought of just how deeply his feelings ran for him. He remembered how just two years before, he had stopped and stared at Castiel, wondering when his feelings had changed and what to do about them.
He gripped Castiel's hips and nipped his belly, satisfied when Castiel quivered beneath him. Dean sat up and stripped to his waist. When Castiel reached up and placed his hand on the brand on Dean's shoulder, Dean's breathe hitched. He collapsed forward and kissed Castiel hard, gripping the back of his neck with one hand.
"I am going to make you shout so loud, the whole world will hear," Dean said against Castiel's mouth. Their eyes locked, and Dean knew now where his heart truly belonged. Before he could dwell on that thought, he lay down on top of Castiel, kissed him, unbuttoned his pants, and then Castiel's. Dean startled at the warm smooth skin of Castiel's cock in his palm. He stroked the length once then twice. His own cock jumped against the fabric of his briefs, and then Castiel's hand was on Dean's cock. Dean shuddered and felt his body soar. They brought each other off with rough, urgent strokes, right there beneath that tree, sprawled out on the grass. Castiel made no sound as he came in Dean's hand. Dean gentled him with kisses, caresses, and soft words muttered so low no ears could hear them. They lay in the grass, spent, staring up at the sky, leaves fluttering in the wind.
"You didn't make a sound."
"Trust me. I did," Castiel said with a nod and a satiated grin.
Dean meant to say something more. He wasn't sure what, but before he could, the tree vanished and a bright light flashed, forcing Dean to cover his eyes. When he uncovered them, they were no longer in the peaceful field.
Dean spun around, disoriented. He and Castiel were dressed and standing in the main street of Willow Springs.
"Congratulations!" Confetti fell from the sky, and Gabriel appeared before them. Castiel didn't look pleased to see his brother. He pulled back one fist and punched Gabriel across the mouth. Gabriel spun and fell to one knee. When he looked up, he had a smile on his face and blood on one corner of his mouth.
"You are such a dick," Castiel said, shaking out his fist. It must have hurt. Dean would know; he'd once tried to punch an angel and had almost broken every bone in his hand for his trouble.
Gabriel stood up and raised a hand in surrender, swiping at the blood on his mouth.
"No need to thank me," Gabriel said with a smug smile. Castiel lunged forward, grabbing Gabriel by the collar again. "Whoa, wait. We don't have time for this," Gabriel said. He pulled Castiel off with ease and pointed. Dean turned his attention to where Gabriel was pointing. Sam and Bobby were tearing down the street with guns in their hands. Dean rushed to meet them, leaving Castiel and Gabriel behind. Bobby handed Dean a gun, too breathless to explain.
"We missed everything," Dean said, glaring at Gabriel.
"Nope," Gabriel said with a smile. Dean turned to see a group of people walking toward them, Lisa at the lead, and she didn't look happy. She still wore the wedding dress. Dean could see that she was muddy and her bare feet looked cut. She left behind bloody footprints with each step she took. Dean felt his stomach clench at the thought of what she must have gone through in the time she'd been possessed.
"If you hurt her," Dean cried out. He raised his weapon and aimed for her shoulder.
She stopped a few feet from them and smirked. Some of the people from the wedding part stood behind her, their eyes black as midnight. Lisa's eyes were also black, but Dean could swear he saw red flash in them.
"Where have you been, Dean? I've missed you," she said. She raised one hand in the air.
"I know who you are," Sam said, stepping forward.
"End of the line, boys and girls," Lisa said, turning her attention to Sam. Moments later, Sam exploded, flesh and blood and bone flying everywhere, like bits of shrapnel, spraying Dean across his front. Dean shuddered with the shock, clawing at bits of his brother that had stuck to him. He stood rooted to the spot too stunned to do anything else until he felt his heart thud in his chest with fear, and then anger built in him.
"No!" Dean screamed and rushed forward and found himself stopped in his tracks. Moments later, he flew a few feet away from Lisa, landing on his front with the wind knocked out of him. Bobby followed, landing almost on top of Dean.
Lisa turned her attention to Castiel and Gabriel. With an expression of surprise on his face, Gabriel disappeared in a blinding flash of light. Dean screamed out and he watched Castiel fly through the air and smash into a storefront, vanishing into the darkness of the store, rubble collapsing around him.
Dean scrambled after his weapon. Lisa stomped over to him and lashed out with a kick to Dean's stomach. He fell to the ground, clutching at his abdomen.
"I have waited..." Lisa said, punctuating each word with another kick to Dean. "...for a long time to get back at you, Dean Winchester. I hate every fiber of your being." Even with her small frame, the power behind the demon that had possession was strong. Dean fell back with each blow, feeling his life and hope seep away. He was not going to get free, and there would be no intervention, no last minute reprieve. With Sam dead, this time forever, and Castiel likely in a similar state, Dean wasn't even sure he wanted one. It was the big one, the final death, and part of Dean welcomed it. At least his struggle would be over, and if Lisa did somehow manage to survive, he wouldn't have to be there to watch what happened next.
Dean lay on his back, every inch of him crying out with pain. He squinted up at Lisa, who now stood over him, black eyes flashing red. The demon in her twisted Lisa's beautiful features into an ugly mask of hatred, and Dean wished that he had never dragged her and Ben into his fucked up life, a life where something was always gunning for him. Lisa would pay the ultimate price with her life.
He couldn't let that happen.
"You son of a bitch." Dean ground each word out through clenched teeth. He tried to stand, but Lisa smashed him down with one bare foot in the small of his back. Dean heard and felt some rib bones crack and he screamed out in pain. The foot slammed into his back repeatedly. Dean looked over and saw the demon knife just a few feet away.
If only he could somehow reach that knife.
He stretched out, his fingers a few inches short of reaching the knife. A crashing sound on the left caught Lisa's attention. When Dean looked up, he saw Castiel climb from the rubble. His eyes flashed with anger like Dean had never seen before.
"This ends here!" Castiel boomed. Windows all around them shattered at the sound of his voice.
"Ooh," Lisa said, both hands rose in the air in mock surrender. "That's what you think."
A wind ruffled Dean's hair and the air all around them crackled. There was a loud popping sound and Sam appeared out of thin air, gasping for breath. He glared at Lisa and rushed to Dean's side. Relief filled Dean when Sam touched his arm and helped him rise to his feet. Rafael appeared next with a flash of lightning, long tendrils spread out from his shoulders, licking at the air.
He and Castiel moved forward and moments later, Gabriel appeared beside Castiel. The angels stood between the demon horde and the Winchesters. Dean moved forward, clutching at Sam afraid to let him go.
"No, Zachariah," Rafael said. Though he spoke the words in a low tone, they boomed through the air, filling Dean with dread.
"That's what I was trying to tell you," Sam said, looking at Dean. His long hair tangled and danced in the rising wind.
Lisa looked past the angels to Dean. "That's right, Dean boy," Zachariah said with a snarl, somehow twisting Lisa's voice to make it sound like Zachariah's.
"But I killed..." Dean stepped closer to him.
"Where do you think an angel goes when it dies?" Zachariah raised his arms. The anger burning in her eyes flared and Dean cried out when her eyes caught fire. "Some of us were brought back." Zachariah continued speaking, turning to look at the demons behind him. They moved back, giving him room to pace. "But some of us went in another direction and we're not limited in who we can wear."
"He's a demon now," Castiel said.
"No shit," Dean muttered, too stunned to say anything else.
Lisa's body closed in on them, the fire in her eyes gone now. Her eyes appeared intact, the same dark brown that Dean had come to know over the past year.
Dean had snatched the demon-killing knife from the ground when no one was looking and he gripped the handle tighter, keeping it out of view. He didn't want to use it on Lisa, but he knew she wouldn't want to live her life like this, and he knew there was no way Zach was releasing her intact.
He closed in on Dean, one hand raised like a claw. Dean jumped back when Zachariah sliced at the air, but it was obvious he wasn't trying to hurt Dean.
"You insignificant prick," he said with a snarl of her lips. Dean felt bile rise in his throat at the sight. "I clawed my way up from the deepest pit of Hell to get here, just so I could destroy your life. I wanted you to feel just an inkling of what I felt when you snuffed out my existence. You can't even begin to understand what you did when you killed me."
"Oh I think I know exactly what I did," Dean said. A feeling of calm resolution came over him as he stood there, back straight, staring down the ex-angel now demon.
"You will not get away with this," Rafael said. He lowered his head and concentrated on Zachariah.
Zachariah spun and faced the three angels who stopped in their tracks. "What are you going to do to stop me, brother?" Zachariah rushed at Rafael, eyes blazing black again.
Castiel stepped forward, arms raised.
"NO!" Dean rushed toward them, but slammed into an invisible barrier before he could interfere. "Cas," Dean turned his attention on Castiel. "Don't hurt her."
Castiel only glared in his direction before turning his attention back to his task. It seemed to take almost no effort. Dean watched as the three angels stood on one side against a small, possessed woman. Zachariah stood his ground, head held high.
"I'll just go back to Hell and make my way out again," he declared. "Maybe next time, I'll use that little runt, Ben." He sneered at Dean.
"We can't allow that to happen," Castiel said. He pulled something from his pocket, and held it up. Dean rushed forward again but stopped short of the barrier when he saw what Castiel held up. The four horsemen's rings glittered in the light, blinding Dean, and he swallowed hard against the pain as he whispered, "This isn't happening. This can't be happening."
Lisa was about to die, and there wasn't a damned thing Dean could do to stop it. Dean turned all his anger and frustration on Castiel, watching helpless to stop this, while Castiel began to chant the words that would open the portal to Lucifer's cage. The wind picked up around them and within moments, a wide gaping hole opened up between Zachariah and the angels. Zachariah turned to look at Dean.
"Well," he shrugged. "Maybe I didn't get everything I wanted, but the look on your face right now is priceless. So long, Dean." He threw an irreverent wave at Dean and with those last words, Zachariah rushed at the hole.
"No!" Dean stumbled forward, slamming against the barrier. He pounded on the invisible shield with both fists, but it held. Helpless to stop it, Dean watched a smiling Zachariah take Lisa's body over the edge. At the same moment, the barrier vanished, and Dean fell forward, barely regaining his footing before he hit the ground. Dean sunk to his knees on the spot where the hole had been, but it was too late. He knelt on the ground, hands clawing at the soil, tears burning in his eyes.
"Dean." Castiel's voice was soft and tainted by regret.
Someone touched Dean on the shoulder and he wanted to lash out. He wanted to tell Castiel where to go but, instead, he turned to look up through the haze of tears into Sam's sad eyes. Dean swiped at the tears, taking Sam's offered hand. When he got to his feet, Dean stood numb and unable to move, gaze focused on the spot where Lisa had vanished, gone for good. She was right at this moment, trapped in Hell, screaming in pain for an eternity all because of him. He felt numb inside as he wondered what he was supposed to tell Ben.
Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder. At least Sam wasn't dead, wasn't a million bits of bone and blood and tissue smeared all over the field, despite the remnants of Sam's earlier fate still clinging congealed to Dean's clothes and skin. Dean kept staring with a heavy heart at where Zachariah had jumped taking Lisa with him into the bowels of Hell. Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder again.
Dean raised his gaze up to look into Sam's eyes. He knew he would find empathy there, and Dean leaned forward to wrap his arms around his brother. They stood in the full embrace for a long time. Dean didn't want to let go because if he did, then he might lose Sam again.
He never wanted to lose Sam again.
*
The angels were gone, leaving Dean and Sam alone. Bobby had vanished.
Dean drove while Sam sat silent in the passenger seat. They hadn't said much since leaving the field where Lisa died. He wasn't thinking of his own wounds, physical or emotional. All he could think about was Ben. Dean's mind reeled with the words of how he would break the news to Ben.
"You couldn't have known," Sam said. The words were a whisper, followed by silence. Dean couldn't think what to say to that. He knew. He'd always know there was no way that he could ever have a normal life. Something would always gun for him. It was his destiny, his fate as a hunter.
The rain started then, and within moments, the road was drenched, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of them. Dean slowed and pulled to the side of the road, leaving the engine idling.
"I got his mother killed. I was stupid to think..." Dean stopped and leaned against the steering wheel, weary. His body ached. His heart ached. Everything ached.
Sam reached out and squeezed Dean's shoulder again. "I'm so sorry," Sam said.
Sam sat with his head bowed, and the rain intensified. Dean turned his gaze up and said a silent prayer.
*
They found Bobby at home, Crowley having scooped him away from the mess with the angels and demons. Bobby was silent as they entered the house and he pulled Dean into a long, deep hug, arms wrapped tightly around him. Dean didn't want to let go, but then he stepped aside, hardly aware that he did so. He stood staring, blind, so lost in thought that he didn't hear the rush of wings.
Dean turned and found himself face to face with Castiel. Behind him, Sam and Bobby exchanged mirrored pats on the back and shoulder squeezes. The room went silent, and someone cleared their throat.
"I need to..." Sam said.
Dean turned to find his brother, waving one hand with in the vague direction of the stairs to the second floor. "I think I'll go take a shower. It's been a long few weeks." He patted Dean on the back. "I'll tell you all about it later."
Dean nodded and didn't protest or stop him. He watched Sam leave to go up the steps to the second floor, thinking all the while that he wished Castiel would get the fuck away from him. He caught Castiel's flinch out of the corner of his eyes as the thought took shape, but found he couldn't care. Bobby was there one second then Crowley was right behind him.
"What say we go have a little reunion of our own," Crowley said, placing a proprietary hand on Bobby's shoulder. Bobby didn't protest or brush him off. Dean considered that he was going to have to get a straight answer out of him about this whole Crowley hanging around thing. It was obvious that there was more going on here than Bobby was letting on. Right then, all Dean wanted was sleep. He was bone-tired and weary of all of it, too aware that his life fucked up everyone else around him, and Lisa had paid a price much too high for Dean's liking. He turned on Castiel once Bobby and Crowley vanished from the room.
"I have nothing else to say to you," Dean said, careful to keep his voice steady. He wasn't about to let on how much he wanted to scream, or how much he wanted to push Castiel down and crush him into the floor until there was nothing left of him.
How much he wanted to grab him, and kiss him all in one breath.
He wouldn't give the universe the satisfaction, but the thought of losing Castiel again made him sick to his core.
Dean knew it was ten kinds of fucked up.
"Dean," Castiel said. He took a step closer and reached out for Dean, but Dean ducked the touch, turning his back on Castiel. "I am sorry about what happened. I wish that it had not gone down that way. I wish I could change things. I wish..."
Dean grunted in something like disbelief, shaking Castiel's touch off and stomping across the room away from his grasp. Dean felt the rush of wind on his back, and the heavy presence behind him. He spun around ready for blood but stopped, his voice caught in his throat.
"Dean," the soft ethereal sound of her speaking his name made Dean shudder. Lisa stood right behind Castiel, watching Dean through long dark lashes. Her eyes held unshed tears.
Dean almost missed the look of regret in Castiel's eyes as he moved past him to scoop Lisa up into his arms, not believing that she was real until he held her.
"Lisa," Dean said against her neck, burying his face there to take in her familiar scent.
Castiel had somehow brought her back to him.
"I'm here," Lisa said, squeezing Dean tight. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity and, once the heavy pounding of Dean's heart steadied, he pulled back to stare at her. Her soft brown eyes were no longer so innocent. He didn't want to contemplate what she must have seen, and been forced to do while Zachariah had control of her body. Dean felt a lump form in his throat.
"I am..." Dean choked on the apology. No words could erase what had happened. She'd seen Hell and she'd seen the worst Dean's life had to offer. He gripped her shoulders and looked into her eyes, searching for that sweet innocent woman he had known for the past year.
Lisa reached up to place a hand, so soft and so gentle on his cheek. Dean could no longer bear those eyes. He looked away to find that they were alone. Castiel had fled.
He was a fool to think that it would end well. He knew he should let her go, let his dream of a normal life go, but Dean flinched at the thought, and then turned around to face Lisa again. She stared at him with fear, dread, anticipation, and so much more, that it made Dean's heart clench.
"It's not your fault," Lisa said.
Dean wanted to believe that, but there was no sugar coating any of it. "Um, Ben is safe," he said, gesturing behind him as if he could make her son appear from nowhere. His throat closed up, words trapped, thoughts lost.
"I know," Lisa said with a nod. "Castiel told me." Hearing his name on her lips broke Dean. He could feel the tears brim in his eyes and he fought them off, desperate to be strong for her. He swallowed his pain and managed to stave off the strong emotions.
Dean nodded and kept nodding unable to say anything more, but he had to say something. He knew without a doubt that this was what needed to be. His heart lay elsewhere and there was no denying that to him or to her.
"I can..." Dean wanted to turn away from her soft, understanding gaze, but he didn't. "I'll make sure that you and Ben are safe." Dean swallowed and reached out to cup her shoulders. They trembled beneath his touch.
"I can't do this, Dean," Lisa said. "I can't keep looking over my shoulder wondering what will happen next or what will tear my life apart. I have Ben to think about and your life is too dangerous. It's..." she paused and swallowed hard, pleading gaze on Dean.
"I..." Dean felt at a loss for words. With those heavy words dropped between them, he almost breathed a sigh of relief because Lisa had made his choice easier.
"This is what you're meant to be," Lisa said. Her voice soft now, and her eyes filled with tears. "Your destiny is to be a hunter and mine..." she shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her hands."We're just not meant to be."
Dean stood numb and didn't resist when Lisa placed the engagement ring he'd given her just a few months before in the palm of his hand. Her touch scorched him; a taste of what he could never have and a reminder of shattered dreams. He nodded his agreement and glanced away to see Sam standing at the bottom of the stairs, a look of empathy on his face.
Lisa turned from Dean with one last smile and left the room.
Unable to take the look of sympathy in Sam's eyes, Dean hurried from the room and yanked the front door open, stomping down the steps to stand outside in the crisp cold air. It was a refreshing change from the stifling feeling of the inside of the house, and he breathed in deep, wishing the day would end.
"Cheer up," a familiar voice behind him said. "You saved the girl."
Dean spun to find Crowley standing a few feet away with Bobby beside him. Rage filled Dean at the interruption. He rushed forward and grabbed the demon by the collar, getting in his face.
"Get the fuck out of our lives," Dean said. Even to him, he sounded more broken than menacing. Crowley brushed him away with ease and spun to sling an arm over Bobby's shoulder.
"No dice," Crowley crowed.
For his part, Bobby flinched and looked to Dean like he wished to be anywhere else but there. Dean stopped and stared, narrowed his eyes and looked from Bobby to Crowley. Bobby had said that Crowley had given back his soul and that he was courting Bobby, as ridiculous as that sounded, but Dean doubted that was the whole truth. He questioned why Crowley was still hanging around and why the hell Bobby was putting up with the bastard.
"We are official," Crowley said, holding his left hand up with fingers spread like someone showing off, but his hand was naked, bare. There was nothing to show off. Crowley stopped and stared at his hand with wonder. "Oops, silly me," he said with a coquettish grin. It made Dean queasy.
Dean looked to Bobby who groaned and couldn't look Dean in the eyes.
"You know what," Dean said, holding his hands up to stop them both before they spoke. "I don't fucking care. I don't care..." Dean flailed his arms at them. He was sure that he would lose all sanity before the day was done, if he hadn't done so already. He turned away from them and looked up to the sky.
"Your boyfriend won't help you now," Crowley said.
Dean rounded on him, the look in his eyes enough to shut Crowley down. He watched as Bobby matched his glare and, in the blink of an eye, the demon vanished leaving Dean alone with Bobby.
The silence fell between them and, though Dean was furious with Bobby, he knew that it wouldn't take much for him to forgive his friend.
"I'm sorry," Bobby said, taking a step closer to Dean then stopping in his tracks, obvious that he had rethought his approach. "He never gave my soul back. I... you were right. I was a fool. He gave it back but only on one condition." Bobby fell silent.
Dean didn't turn to face Bobby. He couldn't look the man in the face. Dean didn't want to be right. Bobby who was so strong and yet he'd given in to a demon - something Dean never thought would happen.
He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the retreating footfalls.
Dean swiped a hand across his face and looked up at the sky, thinking the name but unable to speak it past the lump that had formed in his throat. A gentle hand fell on his shoulder and Dean turned around, his silent prayer answered. Castiel stood with a look of contrition on his face, blue eyes soft with what looked like sorrow.
Dean cleared his throat. "Lisa okay?" he asked.
"Yes, I made sure she and Ben would be taken care of," Castiel said. He reached up and placed his hand on Dean's cheek, compassion radiating from his fingers.
Dean bowed his head, and closed his eyes, blinded by the brightness before him. He opened them again at the soft caress on his cheek. Dean knew he only needed to take that last step. Something deep inside him knew that it was his fate and, if he made the choice to be with Castiel, it meant forever. He knew angels didn't do things halfway.
Deep down inside, Dean knew where he belonged.
Dean slipped his arm around Castiel's waist and pulled him in close, sealing his fate with a kiss and a whisper of words he never spoke aloud. He opened his eyes, stared into the depths of Castiel's eyes, and finally felt that he had found his normal world.
End
I am going to make you shout so loud, the world will hear.
It's not your fault.
Thank you for reading. Feedback is much appreciated.
INFO
PART 4
Dean sensed that there was something up even before he felt the tug of dislocation. When the bright flash cleared, he stood in a field of tall grass. There was nothing as far as the eye could see. The vast featureless field went on forever until the horizon, and the sky was clear blue and cloudless. Although it was bright and sunny, and Dean had no shade to hide from the heat, he wasn't hot. The air was perfect, filled with the sweet smell of flowers.
Wherever he was, Dean was alone and weaponless.
Dean balled his hands into fists and screamed for Castiel. When nothing happened, he wrinkled his nose in disgust and muttered. "This is your doing, Gabriel." He picked a direction and began to walk. Dean could feel the anger building with each step he took, and when he saw Gabriel again, because there was no doubt that this was Gabriel's doing, Dean vowed to tear him a new one. Muttering one curse after another under his breath, Dean called the angel every nasty name he could think up while inventing new ones.
After what felt like hours of walking, Dean stopped in his tracks. He lifted his arm to shield his eyes from the sun, and squinted beneath the glare. The tree could have been a mirage, but Dean had nowhere else to go. He continued his journey and his cursing. It felt as though the tree got farther away the more he walked, but eventually, Dean could see the individual leaves and that there was a figure standing beneath them. Dean picked up the pace.
"I swear, if that is you Gabriel, I will kill your ass," Dean muttered as he ran. It wasn't Gabriel, but it was another angel. Castiel stood under the tree with his back to Dean. He turned at Dean's approach and tilted his head at Dean.
Dean stopped beneath the shade of the tree and stood before Castiel.
"I can't fly from here," Castiel said, answering Dean's first unspoken question. "And yes," Castiel added with a sigh of exasperation. "...this is my brother's doing."
The wind rustled the leaves in the branches and Dean looked down to see that there was a red and white checkered blanket laid out on the ground beneath the tree. A basket appeared before his eyes.
"Is that what I think...?" Dean asked even as he moved to examine the basket. He crouched down beside it and flipped the lid up. There was a wine bottle, two wine glasses, and an apple pie inside. Dean flipped the lid shut and stood.
Dean glanced down and realized that Castiel had not moved from his spot since Dean had arrived.
"I can't move. I have been rooted to this spot since I was forced here."
"Seriously?" Dean cocked a brow and looked up. "Get your sorry ass down here, angel of annoyance," Dean said, pointing at the ground.
Dean spun around when he heard the flurry of wings behind him.
"Hi, guys," said Gabriel with a cheerful wave of one hand.
"Get us back to the house now," Dean said. He rushed forward, bearing down on Gabriel who arched his back and leaned away from Dean.
"Nope," he said, batting his eyes a few times. Dean felt the displacement again and, when he could open his eyes against the glare of bright lights, he found himself standing beside Gabriel with Castiel on Gabriel's other side. Gabriel had his arms around their shoulders.
"Gabriel," Castiel growled and tried to shrug him off, but Gabriel wasn't having any of that.
"You two lovebirds are going to work out your thing," Gabriel said, slapping them both on the cheeks as he spoke.
Dean flinched and barely had time to process what Gabriel was saying before the angel vanished from between them. He lost his balance and fell into Castiel. Lucky for Dean, Castiel seemed to have a perfect sense of balance. He caught Dean before he could fall flat on his ass.
"What the hell?" Dean said, thanking Castiel with a nod. They both straightened and turned around at the sound of wings behind them.
"Yup," Gabriel said. He had a smug expression on his face and his arms were crossed. "This thing you two got going..." he motioned at the two of them, crossed his fingers, and rolled his eyes at them."It needs to be resolved pronto before you explode."
Dean lunged at Gabriel, but Castiel stopped him with a firm hand on his chest.
"There's nothing between us," Dean said, curling his lip with a sneer.
"Tsk, tsk," Gabriel said. He wagged a finger in Dean's face. "You two crazy kids work this out. We'll take care of finding the big baddie. Don't worry," Gabriel leaned forward and slapped them both on their shoulders. "I've got everything under control."
With those words, Gabriel vanished, leaving them alone. Dean lunged forward and grasped at thin air.
"Get us out of here, Cas," Dean said, rage bubbling over. It was insane. Something had possession of Lisa, and was at that moment doing who knew what to her and Gabriel was playing matchmaker. Dean balled his fists and thumped his own leg turning on the spot in frustration.
"I can't," Castiel said.
Dean twirled around to find Castiel standing with his head down, a scowl on his face. Dean watched Castiel take a deep breath and concentrate, but nothing happened. Castiel's shoulders sagged and he shook his head with defeat.
"You have to do something," Dean said.
Castiel's rueful expression said it all. Dean knew that if Castiel could do something, he would have already done whatever it was that he could have done. Dean's heart sank.
"I will have words with Gabriel when he returns," Castiel said.
"I'm going to do more than have words with him," Dean said. He threw his arms in the air and walked over to the base of the tree, sitting down on the grass to lean against the trunk. There was nothing else to do. Trapped there, they had no other choice but to wait until Gabriel saw fit to return. He settled against the trunk and closed his eyes.
Castiel sighed, and then Dean heard the whisper of cloth as the angel sat down close to him. "I apologize for my brother."
"You know your brother's a total dick," Dean said.
"I am aware of this," Castiel said. "Gabriel has always been the troublemaker in the family."
"No kidding." Dean cracked one eye open and looked at Castiel, who sat leaning against the tree with one knee bent up and an arm resting on the knee. A warm breeze ruffled Castiel's short hair, and Dean felt the urge to reach out and run his fingers through the soft spikes.
"I do realize that he has been a consistent source of irritation in your life," Castiel said, a rueful expression on his face.
"He killed me a million times, so yeah, I would say he's a source..." Dean made air quotes. "...of irritation in my life."
Castiel tilted his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. A sigh of exasperation escaped his lips. They sat like that for a while in silence. Dean started to realize there was something weird about this place and then it hit him. The only sound he could hear was the wind. There were no birds, insects, or anything. He looked down at the ground, giving it a closer examination. He couldn't see any bugs.
The silence stretched and the sun seemed to hover in the sky, though in truth it had moved across the horizon. Castiel sat plucking grass from the ground and tossing it into the air.
"This is crazy," Dean said. "We have a bad guy to catch. Doesn't he understand that?" The words seemed to echo, filling the air around them. He turned to face Castiel, who stopped what he'd been doing to look up at Dean.
"I've tried to contact anyone I could, but I seem to be cut off from Heaven," Castiel said. Dean could see the expression of fear build in Castiel's eyes. The last time Heaven had been out of his reach, Castiel had almost turned human. Dean could just imagine the dread going through him at this moment.
"Screw this," Dean said. He lunged forward and cupped Castiel's shoulder with one hand, yanking the angel closer so that he could press their mouths together. Castiel gave into the kiss without hesitation. Dean rolled them to a more comfortable position, where he lay atop Castiel, their legs tangled together. He placed one hand on the back of Castiel's neck, shivering at the tickle of small hairs against his palm.
When they pulled apart, Dean took a deep breath and rested his forehead against Castiel's forehead. He brushed his thumb across Castiel's parted lips and stared into his eyes. They looked so blue, bluer than Dean could remember them being. Maybe it was the sky above them or maybe it was something else; Dean didn't know. All he knew for sure at that moment was that he wanted to kiss Castiel hard again and he never wanted to stop. He mashed their mouths together, and Castiel made a sound deep in his throat much like a growl. He flipped Dean over and pinned him against the cool grass, and Dean deepened the kiss, hungry for more. His dick was hard, and he thrust up against Castiel, who broke the kiss to stare down at Dean.
"This feels good," Castiel said in that weird awkward way he had of saying things that made it sound like he was stating a fact he had just discovered.
Dean nodded agreement and pulled Castiel down to crush their lips together again. The more they kissed, the more Dean wanted. He tilted his head and licked Castiel's wet mouth once, twice, then a third time when he got the desired reaction from Castiel. Dean was sure he hadn't whimpered when Castiel broke the kiss and straddled Dean's hips, well, maybe he had just a little, but it felt so good.
Castiel felt so good.
Castiel stroked Dean's chest with both hands, taking his time as he felt every curve of his muscles and Dean bucked up again, looking down at his obvious erection. Castiel's own pants bulged, and Dean grabbed Castiel by the thighs. It was so much different from being with a woman. Castiel had stubble and his body was all hard lines, no soft curves, and his chest was flat. Dean sat up and yanked Castiel's trench coat off, pushing it aside, then he slid his suit jacket from his shoulders. That time, when their eyes locked, Dean's breath hitched and he felt naked trapped in Castiel's intense gaze.
"Can you read my mind?" Dean said, the sound of his own husky voice taking him by surprise.
When Castiel nodded, Dean could hold back no longer. He pushed Castiel back, pinning him beneath him and smothered another kiss against his lips. He wanted to brand him so the whole world could see that the man, the angel, belonged to Dean Winchester. Dean sat up, startled at his thoughts. He looked up to the sky, expecting retribution for his blasphemy. It must be against all laws of nature or Heaven or something but, when nothing happened, just as it hadn't the last time they had done the horizontal tango, and all he could hear around them was their combined panting breaths, Dean bent to kiss Castiel again.
The kiss was slow and languorous and this time Dean took his time, made sure to taste every corner of Castiel's hungry mouth, sucking on his bottom lip, licking the wet mouth. Castiel bucked against him and made a sound deep in his throat. Dean smiled against Castiel's full lips, and rubbed his thumb across Castiel's cheek, enjoying the feel of soft stubble, and then kissed him again.
With the leaves rustling above them, Dean divested Castiel of his shirt and tie, taking care to caress and touch every inch of skin that he exposed. Castiel remained silent, attention riveted to Dean.
Dean stared down at Castiel's perfect skin, wondering how he could have ever marred that flesh with any knife. Dean bent to kiss and lick warm skin, shivering when Castiel touched a hand to Dean's head. He thought how he should have been terrified of what he was feeling, but he wasn't. It had been a long time coming. Dean could remember the exact moment that he had looked at Castiel and felt his insides flip at the thought of just how deeply his feelings ran for him. He remembered how just two years before, he had stopped and stared at Castiel, wondering when his feelings had changed and what to do about them.
He gripped Castiel's hips and nipped his belly, satisfied when Castiel quivered beneath him. Dean sat up and stripped to his waist. When Castiel reached up and placed his hand on the brand on Dean's shoulder, Dean's breathe hitched. He collapsed forward and kissed Castiel hard, gripping the back of his neck with one hand.
"I am going to make you shout so loud, the whole world will hear," Dean said against Castiel's mouth. Their eyes locked, and Dean knew now where his heart truly belonged. Before he could dwell on that thought, he lay down on top of Castiel, kissed him, unbuttoned his pants, and then Castiel's. Dean startled at the warm smooth skin of Castiel's cock in his palm. He stroked the length once then twice. His own cock jumped against the fabric of his briefs, and then Castiel's hand was on Dean's cock. Dean shuddered and felt his body soar. They brought each other off with rough, urgent strokes, right there beneath that tree, sprawled out on the grass. Castiel made no sound as he came in Dean's hand. Dean gentled him with kisses, caresses, and soft words muttered so low no ears could hear them. They lay in the grass, spent, staring up at the sky, leaves fluttering in the wind.
"You didn't make a sound."
"Trust me. I did," Castiel said with a nod and a satiated grin.
Dean meant to say something more. He wasn't sure what, but before he could, the tree vanished and a bright light flashed, forcing Dean to cover his eyes. When he uncovered them, they were no longer in the peaceful field.
Dean spun around, disoriented. He and Castiel were dressed and standing in the main street of Willow Springs.
"Congratulations!" Confetti fell from the sky, and Gabriel appeared before them. Castiel didn't look pleased to see his brother. He pulled back one fist and punched Gabriel across the mouth. Gabriel spun and fell to one knee. When he looked up, he had a smile on his face and blood on one corner of his mouth.
"You are such a dick," Castiel said, shaking out his fist. It must have hurt. Dean would know; he'd once tried to punch an angel and had almost broken every bone in his hand for his trouble.
Gabriel stood up and raised a hand in surrender, swiping at the blood on his mouth.
"No need to thank me," Gabriel said with a smug smile. Castiel lunged forward, grabbing Gabriel by the collar again. "Whoa, wait. We don't have time for this," Gabriel said. He pulled Castiel off with ease and pointed. Dean turned his attention to where Gabriel was pointing. Sam and Bobby were tearing down the street with guns in their hands. Dean rushed to meet them, leaving Castiel and Gabriel behind. Bobby handed Dean a gun, too breathless to explain.
"We missed everything," Dean said, glaring at Gabriel.
"Nope," Gabriel said with a smile. Dean turned to see a group of people walking toward them, Lisa at the lead, and she didn't look happy. She still wore the wedding dress. Dean could see that she was muddy and her bare feet looked cut. She left behind bloody footprints with each step she took. Dean felt his stomach clench at the thought of what she must have gone through in the time she'd been possessed.
"If you hurt her," Dean cried out. He raised his weapon and aimed for her shoulder.
She stopped a few feet from them and smirked. Some of the people from the wedding part stood behind her, their eyes black as midnight. Lisa's eyes were also black, but Dean could swear he saw red flash in them.
"Where have you been, Dean? I've missed you," she said. She raised one hand in the air.
"I know who you are," Sam said, stepping forward.
"End of the line, boys and girls," Lisa said, turning her attention to Sam. Moments later, Sam exploded, flesh and blood and bone flying everywhere, like bits of shrapnel, spraying Dean across his front. Dean shuddered with the shock, clawing at bits of his brother that had stuck to him. He stood rooted to the spot too stunned to do anything else until he felt his heart thud in his chest with fear, and then anger built in him.
"No!" Dean screamed and rushed forward and found himself stopped in his tracks. Moments later, he flew a few feet away from Lisa, landing on his front with the wind knocked out of him. Bobby followed, landing almost on top of Dean.
Lisa turned her attention to Castiel and Gabriel. With an expression of surprise on his face, Gabriel disappeared in a blinding flash of light. Dean screamed out and he watched Castiel fly through the air and smash into a storefront, vanishing into the darkness of the store, rubble collapsing around him.
Dean scrambled after his weapon. Lisa stomped over to him and lashed out with a kick to Dean's stomach. He fell to the ground, clutching at his abdomen.
"I have waited..." Lisa said, punctuating each word with another kick to Dean. "...for a long time to get back at you, Dean Winchester. I hate every fiber of your being." Even with her small frame, the power behind the demon that had possession was strong. Dean fell back with each blow, feeling his life and hope seep away. He was not going to get free, and there would be no intervention, no last minute reprieve. With Sam dead, this time forever, and Castiel likely in a similar state, Dean wasn't even sure he wanted one. It was the big one, the final death, and part of Dean welcomed it. At least his struggle would be over, and if Lisa did somehow manage to survive, he wouldn't have to be there to watch what happened next.
Dean lay on his back, every inch of him crying out with pain. He squinted up at Lisa, who now stood over him, black eyes flashing red. The demon in her twisted Lisa's beautiful features into an ugly mask of hatred, and Dean wished that he had never dragged her and Ben into his fucked up life, a life where something was always gunning for him. Lisa would pay the ultimate price with her life.
He couldn't let that happen.
"You son of a bitch." Dean ground each word out through clenched teeth. He tried to stand, but Lisa smashed him down with one bare foot in the small of his back. Dean heard and felt some rib bones crack and he screamed out in pain. The foot slammed into his back repeatedly. Dean looked over and saw the demon knife just a few feet away.
If only he could somehow reach that knife.
He stretched out, his fingers a few inches short of reaching the knife. A crashing sound on the left caught Lisa's attention. When Dean looked up, he saw Castiel climb from the rubble. His eyes flashed with anger like Dean had never seen before.
"This ends here!" Castiel boomed. Windows all around them shattered at the sound of his voice.
"Ooh," Lisa said, both hands rose in the air in mock surrender. "That's what you think."
A wind ruffled Dean's hair and the air all around them crackled. There was a loud popping sound and Sam appeared out of thin air, gasping for breath. He glared at Lisa and rushed to Dean's side. Relief filled Dean when Sam touched his arm and helped him rise to his feet. Rafael appeared next with a flash of lightning, long tendrils spread out from his shoulders, licking at the air.
He and Castiel moved forward and moments later, Gabriel appeared beside Castiel. The angels stood between the demon horde and the Winchesters. Dean moved forward, clutching at Sam afraid to let him go.
"No, Zachariah," Rafael said. Though he spoke the words in a low tone, they boomed through the air, filling Dean with dread.
"That's what I was trying to tell you," Sam said, looking at Dean. His long hair tangled and danced in the rising wind.
Lisa looked past the angels to Dean. "That's right, Dean boy," Zachariah said with a snarl, somehow twisting Lisa's voice to make it sound like Zachariah's.
"But I killed..." Dean stepped closer to him.
"Where do you think an angel goes when it dies?" Zachariah raised his arms. The anger burning in her eyes flared and Dean cried out when her eyes caught fire. "Some of us were brought back." Zachariah continued speaking, turning to look at the demons behind him. They moved back, giving him room to pace. "But some of us went in another direction and we're not limited in who we can wear."
"He's a demon now," Castiel said.
"No shit," Dean muttered, too stunned to say anything else.
Lisa's body closed in on them, the fire in her eyes gone now. Her eyes appeared intact, the same dark brown that Dean had come to know over the past year.
Dean had snatched the demon-killing knife from the ground when no one was looking and he gripped the handle tighter, keeping it out of view. He didn't want to use it on Lisa, but he knew she wouldn't want to live her life like this, and he knew there was no way Zach was releasing her intact.
He closed in on Dean, one hand raised like a claw. Dean jumped back when Zachariah sliced at the air, but it was obvious he wasn't trying to hurt Dean.
"You insignificant prick," he said with a snarl of her lips. Dean felt bile rise in his throat at the sight. "I clawed my way up from the deepest pit of Hell to get here, just so I could destroy your life. I wanted you to feel just an inkling of what I felt when you snuffed out my existence. You can't even begin to understand what you did when you killed me."
"Oh I think I know exactly what I did," Dean said. A feeling of calm resolution came over him as he stood there, back straight, staring down the ex-angel now demon.
"You will not get away with this," Rafael said. He lowered his head and concentrated on Zachariah.
Zachariah spun and faced the three angels who stopped in their tracks. "What are you going to do to stop me, brother?" Zachariah rushed at Rafael, eyes blazing black again.
Castiel stepped forward, arms raised.
"NO!" Dean rushed toward them, but slammed into an invisible barrier before he could interfere. "Cas," Dean turned his attention on Castiel. "Don't hurt her."
Castiel only glared in his direction before turning his attention back to his task. It seemed to take almost no effort. Dean watched as the three angels stood on one side against a small, possessed woman. Zachariah stood his ground, head held high.
"I'll just go back to Hell and make my way out again," he declared. "Maybe next time, I'll use that little runt, Ben." He sneered at Dean.
"We can't allow that to happen," Castiel said. He pulled something from his pocket, and held it up. Dean rushed forward again but stopped short of the barrier when he saw what Castiel held up. The four horsemen's rings glittered in the light, blinding Dean, and he swallowed hard against the pain as he whispered, "This isn't happening. This can't be happening."
Lisa was about to die, and there wasn't a damned thing Dean could do to stop it. Dean turned all his anger and frustration on Castiel, watching helpless to stop this, while Castiel began to chant the words that would open the portal to Lucifer's cage. The wind picked up around them and within moments, a wide gaping hole opened up between Zachariah and the angels. Zachariah turned to look at Dean.
"Well," he shrugged. "Maybe I didn't get everything I wanted, but the look on your face right now is priceless. So long, Dean." He threw an irreverent wave at Dean and with those last words, Zachariah rushed at the hole.
"No!" Dean stumbled forward, slamming against the barrier. He pounded on the invisible shield with both fists, but it held. Helpless to stop it, Dean watched a smiling Zachariah take Lisa's body over the edge. At the same moment, the barrier vanished, and Dean fell forward, barely regaining his footing before he hit the ground. Dean sunk to his knees on the spot where the hole had been, but it was too late. He knelt on the ground, hands clawing at the soil, tears burning in his eyes.
"Dean." Castiel's voice was soft and tainted by regret.
Someone touched Dean on the shoulder and he wanted to lash out. He wanted to tell Castiel where to go but, instead, he turned to look up through the haze of tears into Sam's sad eyes. Dean swiped at the tears, taking Sam's offered hand. When he got to his feet, Dean stood numb and unable to move, gaze focused on the spot where Lisa had vanished, gone for good. She was right at this moment, trapped in Hell, screaming in pain for an eternity all because of him. He felt numb inside as he wondered what he was supposed to tell Ben.
Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder. At least Sam wasn't dead, wasn't a million bits of bone and blood and tissue smeared all over the field, despite the remnants of Sam's earlier fate still clinging congealed to Dean's clothes and skin. Dean kept staring with a heavy heart at where Zachariah had jumped taking Lisa with him into the bowels of Hell. Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder again.
Dean raised his gaze up to look into Sam's eyes. He knew he would find empathy there, and Dean leaned forward to wrap his arms around his brother. They stood in the full embrace for a long time. Dean didn't want to let go because if he did, then he might lose Sam again.
He never wanted to lose Sam again.
*
The angels were gone, leaving Dean and Sam alone. Bobby had vanished.
Dean drove while Sam sat silent in the passenger seat. They hadn't said much since leaving the field where Lisa died. He wasn't thinking of his own wounds, physical or emotional. All he could think about was Ben. Dean's mind reeled with the words of how he would break the news to Ben.
"You couldn't have known," Sam said. The words were a whisper, followed by silence. Dean couldn't think what to say to that. He knew. He'd always know there was no way that he could ever have a normal life. Something would always gun for him. It was his destiny, his fate as a hunter.
The rain started then, and within moments, the road was drenched, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of them. Dean slowed and pulled to the side of the road, leaving the engine idling.
"I got his mother killed. I was stupid to think..." Dean stopped and leaned against the steering wheel, weary. His body ached. His heart ached. Everything ached.
Sam reached out and squeezed Dean's shoulder again. "I'm so sorry," Sam said.
Sam sat with his head bowed, and the rain intensified. Dean turned his gaze up and said a silent prayer.
*
They found Bobby at home, Crowley having scooped him away from the mess with the angels and demons. Bobby was silent as they entered the house and he pulled Dean into a long, deep hug, arms wrapped tightly around him. Dean didn't want to let go, but then he stepped aside, hardly aware that he did so. He stood staring, blind, so lost in thought that he didn't hear the rush of wings.
Dean turned and found himself face to face with Castiel. Behind him, Sam and Bobby exchanged mirrored pats on the back and shoulder squeezes. The room went silent, and someone cleared their throat.
"I need to..." Sam said.
Dean turned to find his brother, waving one hand with in the vague direction of the stairs to the second floor. "I think I'll go take a shower. It's been a long few weeks." He patted Dean on the back. "I'll tell you all about it later."
Dean nodded and didn't protest or stop him. He watched Sam leave to go up the steps to the second floor, thinking all the while that he wished Castiel would get the fuck away from him. He caught Castiel's flinch out of the corner of his eyes as the thought took shape, but found he couldn't care. Bobby was there one second then Crowley was right behind him.
"What say we go have a little reunion of our own," Crowley said, placing a proprietary hand on Bobby's shoulder. Bobby didn't protest or brush him off. Dean considered that he was going to have to get a straight answer out of him about this whole Crowley hanging around thing. It was obvious that there was more going on here than Bobby was letting on. Right then, all Dean wanted was sleep. He was bone-tired and weary of all of it, too aware that his life fucked up everyone else around him, and Lisa had paid a price much too high for Dean's liking. He turned on Castiel once Bobby and Crowley vanished from the room.
"I have nothing else to say to you," Dean said, careful to keep his voice steady. He wasn't about to let on how much he wanted to scream, or how much he wanted to push Castiel down and crush him into the floor until there was nothing left of him.
How much he wanted to grab him, and kiss him all in one breath.
He wouldn't give the universe the satisfaction, but the thought of losing Castiel again made him sick to his core.
Dean knew it was ten kinds of fucked up.
"Dean," Castiel said. He took a step closer and reached out for Dean, but Dean ducked the touch, turning his back on Castiel. "I am sorry about what happened. I wish that it had not gone down that way. I wish I could change things. I wish..."
Dean grunted in something like disbelief, shaking Castiel's touch off and stomping across the room away from his grasp. Dean felt the rush of wind on his back, and the heavy presence behind him. He spun around ready for blood but stopped, his voice caught in his throat.
"Dean," the soft ethereal sound of her speaking his name made Dean shudder. Lisa stood right behind Castiel, watching Dean through long dark lashes. Her eyes held unshed tears.
Dean almost missed the look of regret in Castiel's eyes as he moved past him to scoop Lisa up into his arms, not believing that she was real until he held her.
"Lisa," Dean said against her neck, burying his face there to take in her familiar scent.
Castiel had somehow brought her back to him.
"I'm here," Lisa said, squeezing Dean tight. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity and, once the heavy pounding of Dean's heart steadied, he pulled back to stare at her. Her soft brown eyes were no longer so innocent. He didn't want to contemplate what she must have seen, and been forced to do while Zachariah had control of her body. Dean felt a lump form in his throat.
"I am..." Dean choked on the apology. No words could erase what had happened. She'd seen Hell and she'd seen the worst Dean's life had to offer. He gripped her shoulders and looked into her eyes, searching for that sweet innocent woman he had known for the past year.
Lisa reached up to place a hand, so soft and so gentle on his cheek. Dean could no longer bear those eyes. He looked away to find that they were alone. Castiel had fled.
He was a fool to think that it would end well. He knew he should let her go, let his dream of a normal life go, but Dean flinched at the thought, and then turned around to face Lisa again. She stared at him with fear, dread, anticipation, and so much more, that it made Dean's heart clench.
"It's not your fault," Lisa said.
Dean wanted to believe that, but there was no sugar coating any of it. "Um, Ben is safe," he said, gesturing behind him as if he could make her son appear from nowhere. His throat closed up, words trapped, thoughts lost.
"I know," Lisa said with a nod. "Castiel told me." Hearing his name on her lips broke Dean. He could feel the tears brim in his eyes and he fought them off, desperate to be strong for her. He swallowed his pain and managed to stave off the strong emotions.
Dean nodded and kept nodding unable to say anything more, but he had to say something. He knew without a doubt that this was what needed to be. His heart lay elsewhere and there was no denying that to him or to her.
"I can..." Dean wanted to turn away from her soft, understanding gaze, but he didn't. "I'll make sure that you and Ben are safe." Dean swallowed and reached out to cup her shoulders. They trembled beneath his touch.
"I can't do this, Dean," Lisa said. "I can't keep looking over my shoulder wondering what will happen next or what will tear my life apart. I have Ben to think about and your life is too dangerous. It's..." she paused and swallowed hard, pleading gaze on Dean.
"I..." Dean felt at a loss for words. With those heavy words dropped between them, he almost breathed a sigh of relief because Lisa had made his choice easier.
"This is what you're meant to be," Lisa said. Her voice soft now, and her eyes filled with tears. "Your destiny is to be a hunter and mine..." she shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her hands."We're just not meant to be."
Dean stood numb and didn't resist when Lisa placed the engagement ring he'd given her just a few months before in the palm of his hand. Her touch scorched him; a taste of what he could never have and a reminder of shattered dreams. He nodded his agreement and glanced away to see Sam standing at the bottom of the stairs, a look of empathy on his face.
Lisa turned from Dean with one last smile and left the room.
Unable to take the look of sympathy in Sam's eyes, Dean hurried from the room and yanked the front door open, stomping down the steps to stand outside in the crisp cold air. It was a refreshing change from the stifling feeling of the inside of the house, and he breathed in deep, wishing the day would end.
"Cheer up," a familiar voice behind him said. "You saved the girl."
Dean spun to find Crowley standing a few feet away with Bobby beside him. Rage filled Dean at the interruption. He rushed forward and grabbed the demon by the collar, getting in his face.
"Get the fuck out of our lives," Dean said. Even to him, he sounded more broken than menacing. Crowley brushed him away with ease and spun to sling an arm over Bobby's shoulder.
"No dice," Crowley crowed.
For his part, Bobby flinched and looked to Dean like he wished to be anywhere else but there. Dean stopped and stared, narrowed his eyes and looked from Bobby to Crowley. Bobby had said that Crowley had given back his soul and that he was courting Bobby, as ridiculous as that sounded, but Dean doubted that was the whole truth. He questioned why Crowley was still hanging around and why the hell Bobby was putting up with the bastard.
"We are official," Crowley said, holding his left hand up with fingers spread like someone showing off, but his hand was naked, bare. There was nothing to show off. Crowley stopped and stared at his hand with wonder. "Oops, silly me," he said with a coquettish grin. It made Dean queasy.
Dean looked to Bobby who groaned and couldn't look Dean in the eyes.
"You know what," Dean said, holding his hands up to stop them both before they spoke. "I don't fucking care. I don't care..." Dean flailed his arms at them. He was sure that he would lose all sanity before the day was done, if he hadn't done so already. He turned away from them and looked up to the sky.
"Your boyfriend won't help you now," Crowley said.
Dean rounded on him, the look in his eyes enough to shut Crowley down. He watched as Bobby matched his glare and, in the blink of an eye, the demon vanished leaving Dean alone with Bobby.
The silence fell between them and, though Dean was furious with Bobby, he knew that it wouldn't take much for him to forgive his friend.
"I'm sorry," Bobby said, taking a step closer to Dean then stopping in his tracks, obvious that he had rethought his approach. "He never gave my soul back. I... you were right. I was a fool. He gave it back but only on one condition." Bobby fell silent.
Dean didn't turn to face Bobby. He couldn't look the man in the face. Dean didn't want to be right. Bobby who was so strong and yet he'd given in to a demon - something Dean never thought would happen.
He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the retreating footfalls.
Dean swiped a hand across his face and looked up at the sky, thinking the name but unable to speak it past the lump that had formed in his throat. A gentle hand fell on his shoulder and Dean turned around, his silent prayer answered. Castiel stood with a look of contrition on his face, blue eyes soft with what looked like sorrow.
Dean cleared his throat. "Lisa okay?" he asked.
"Yes, I made sure she and Ben would be taken care of," Castiel said. He reached up and placed his hand on Dean's cheek, compassion radiating from his fingers.
Dean bowed his head, and closed his eyes, blinded by the brightness before him. He opened them again at the soft caress on his cheek. Dean knew he only needed to take that last step. Something deep inside him knew that it was his fate and, if he made the choice to be with Castiel, it meant forever. He knew angels didn't do things halfway.
Deep down inside, Dean knew where he belonged.
Dean slipped his arm around Castiel's waist and pulled him in close, sealing his fate with a kiss and a whisper of words he never spoke aloud. He opened his eyes, stared into the depths of Castiel's eyes, and finally felt that he had found his normal world.
End
I am going to make you shout so loud, the world will hear.
It's not your fault.
Thank you for reading. Feedback is much appreciated.