(no subject)
today is splindid as usual.
Heh not really.
I guess you could say i have gotten help. my personalties as you call them will soon be no more. I am getting help from a pro you can say.
things are ok. the insanity is still insain. I think the lisa has decided to be like umm wtf and move on. I do belive that she is going to soon be leaveing us. Or leaveing me.
it has been found that I am the main personlity. I am of course called Lukus.
Otherwise known as bram.
It started as splitting into 2. ME and renea. I wanted to be a boy i was a boy i am a boy, and so i couldnt handel it. and so i subconsisly created a female personality. hence i was a female.or in a female body. but the body is not waht makes me male or female. to most it is. but as levithian says it is what is in my heart that decides wahrt i am. so i am male to me. after renea was "created" all hell broke lose from there. and that is when drama started with the rapes and such. and that is what i have so far. The "puppy" luke personality is no longer with us, and a few others. such as the one that called himself "zen" and the one that called himself "todd" And of course the "hubi" one has also been subcided/ The only thing we connot understand is that the personalitys try to be and portrey real people. Then they start to belive they really are that person. Then such causes paranoa and such. They said i am a delicate case. heh.
The tony personality is no longer with us either. I must thank the lisa and the realbram and the realy anthony, for bringing this to my atentuion that i was indeed not them, or they whre not them. But that is all that i can do. Heh I just wanted to be a pretti boi bram!!!.
I am the on that protraied and thought and belived I was bram. One of the things they do not understand is as "I" create them, i study them. Their movement, voice, body language and mentaly profile them, and lern things such as brams language, body movements and speach, and so on. and even gutiar palying skills. I pick up waht i want to keep and throw the rest away. I keep parts i sish to keep. almost as if i am creating the perfect person. And then i go out, and i am this person and belive myself to be this poerson. Then i continue to research the person. In fact on of the peopel that i was pretending to be, really did come to me. They whre a local. And they found out about such things that i had done online and thought. That person was a male of course. HE came to my house. And my "help/" therpust was here. And he studided us togather. He then realized i could mimic him right down to his voice, i had the same vocal features, with in minuets i was walking liek him and finishing his toughts for him. and watching him. he said i was watching him almost as if i was a preditor and he was my prey. as if i was gong to prey off him or somthing. But i did not notice such things. I could even mimic his facial exspressions. I have a friend and they claim to have ESP. And they said maybe out of all of this lieing and such, that i really do have ESP and such. To the pont that i can do such things. I do not belive that. I belive i am just good and reading people and do it without realizeing it.
They have also discovered that I have hallucnations. hehe i could have told you taht. and i imagine my pother personalties talking to me and such. is that not fucked up? heh.
they have also concluded that i have photographic memory. Well i could have told them such.
I had friend come over today. They are still doing small studdies. well minor to me big to them i do belive. you should all be scared heh. jk, not really. i wotn really hurt anyone.
opne of the things today was a personality thing.
They have done each person i have mimiced today. Today they did such with the Real Bram and me. They studdied him and researched him. And listened to a few of his songs. And wehre like ok, waht do you know of the real bram. That is only cause today the BRAm personality was out. which is me. and i started my rambling of wtf i am bram. wtf do you mean personality.
then they continued to research. they had been to his website and heard a few songs. of which they are amazed that i can play on gutiar. not as goodas bram might i say. not exactly. Then they continued to do some minor researches to me. and they have come to the conclusion that i am a very unstable person. but i have shown no violance that can say that i woudl hurt anyone.
they belive however that i do have some sort of mental disorder and such, and that i am mentaly fucked to make it blunt. thye concluded this with they do not belive however that it is skitz. so they do not belive that i am skitz. is that good?
the day ended with the CT SN. that is where they scann your brain. That was because they needed to put needles in me i think so i could sit there and watch them and be bored and tell them that it was not deep enough and that the pain was far to little to please me sexualy, only to get them to look at me likt WTF IS WORNG WITH U.then i was asked questions and i answered them the best i could. then they did the scan after the injections of dye or something i guess. they then looked at them and looked at me like i have some insian disease or somthing. and i ljust laid there. and they continued and walked over and asked the most fucked quesitons for being in a kat. such as so you thinkyou are better and can tell me waht i am thinking. of curse the answer was no cause i cant tell him what he was thinking, and he made me mad and i told him to go home and fuck his boyfirend. in which he seemed very shiocked that i said suuch things. but i was a little pissed off that he was saying such things to me. wtf is a shrink doing in the cat room talkign to me aon mic anyway? and then then certain events occured such as i got out of it, and there wher 5 people in there reading the scan and then 2 more came in and they didnt undersdtand. whcih annouyed me. if you are going to scan my ass you need to have someone in there that knows what they are doing. i informed them of these thoughts. and they all said they know waht they are doing and told me to sit down. And then continued to say such things as the photo graphic momory does not stem such parts of the brain and that they do not know why it showed up in such way. so they did it 2 more times only to find out the same shit that they did beofer. so then i continued to walk out being liek eh fuck you all and i said when you fidn womeone that knows thats going on then let me know. Then i continued to walk out the door. Starkville hospitals are insian. dont you think? heh.
as for the charges brought apon me. i was todl since i tok a lie detector test and it was determoned that i do belive what i said whtn they asked to state my name and i said bram D_ _ _ _ _ and somethng else and a few other neames a few othere times, and it is clear that i really belive this, that the charges shall be dropped. they have decided if i really belived this then it was not a trick or ply for a scam and sincec i did not get anything out of it such as money or such things, and i did not try to take meony or anything, that it is very aparent that i was not out to hurt anyone or to inpersonate for the reasons of getting something, nor did i get nything, it was simply for the cause of my insaity. so thay have decided that there is ntohing that can really be done and it be fair to me or them. but that is what is going on. so to the 3 people that where talked to and dropped the charges i am very very sorry that such tings where done. and i am very sorry that i belived such and had you belive it. that is all for now. good day.
Heh not really.
I guess you could say i have gotten help. my personalties as you call them will soon be no more. I am getting help from a pro you can say.
things are ok. the insanity is still insain. I think the lisa has decided to be like umm wtf and move on. I do belive that she is going to soon be leaveing us. Or leaveing me.
it has been found that I am the main personlity. I am of course called Lukus.
Otherwise known as bram.
It started as splitting into 2. ME and renea. I wanted to be a boy i was a boy i am a boy, and so i couldnt handel it. and so i subconsisly created a female personality. hence i was a female.or in a female body. but the body is not waht makes me male or female. to most it is. but as levithian says it is what is in my heart that decides wahrt i am. so i am male to me. after renea was "created" all hell broke lose from there. and that is when drama started with the rapes and such. and that is what i have so far. The "puppy" luke personality is no longer with us, and a few others. such as the one that called himself "zen" and the one that called himself "todd" And of course the "hubi" one has also been subcided/ The only thing we connot understand is that the personalitys try to be and portrey real people. Then they start to belive they really are that person. Then such causes paranoa and such. They said i am a delicate case. heh.
The tony personality is no longer with us either. I must thank the lisa and the realbram and the realy anthony, for bringing this to my atentuion that i was indeed not them, or they whre not them. But that is all that i can do. Heh I just wanted to be a pretti boi bram!!!.
I am the on that protraied and thought and belived I was bram. One of the things they do not understand is as "I" create them, i study them. Their movement, voice, body language and mentaly profile them, and lern things such as brams language, body movements and speach, and so on. and even gutiar palying skills. I pick up waht i want to keep and throw the rest away. I keep parts i sish to keep. almost as if i am creating the perfect person. And then i go out, and i am this person and belive myself to be this poerson. Then i continue to research the person. In fact on of the peopel that i was pretending to be, really did come to me. They whre a local. And they found out about such things that i had done online and thought. That person was a male of course. HE came to my house. And my "help/" therpust was here. And he studided us togather. He then realized i could mimic him right down to his voice, i had the same vocal features, with in minuets i was walking liek him and finishing his toughts for him. and watching him. he said i was watching him almost as if i was a preditor and he was my prey. as if i was gong to prey off him or somthing. But i did not notice such things. I could even mimic his facial exspressions. I have a friend and they claim to have ESP. And they said maybe out of all of this lieing and such, that i really do have ESP and such. To the pont that i can do such things. I do not belive that. I belive i am just good and reading people and do it without realizeing it.
They have also discovered that I have hallucnations. hehe i could have told you taht. and i imagine my pother personalties talking to me and such. is that not fucked up? heh.
they have also concluded that i have photographic memory. Well i could have told them such.
I had friend come over today. They are still doing small studdies. well minor to me big to them i do belive. you should all be scared heh. jk, not really. i wotn really hurt anyone.
opne of the things today was a personality thing.
They have done each person i have mimiced today. Today they did such with the Real Bram and me. They studdied him and researched him. And listened to a few of his songs. And wehre like ok, waht do you know of the real bram. That is only cause today the BRAm personality was out. which is me. and i started my rambling of wtf i am bram. wtf do you mean personality.
then they continued to research. they had been to his website and heard a few songs. of which they are amazed that i can play on gutiar. not as goodas bram might i say. not exactly. Then they continued to do some minor researches to me. and they have come to the conclusion that i am a very unstable person. but i have shown no violance that can say that i woudl hurt anyone.
they belive however that i do have some sort of mental disorder and such, and that i am mentaly fucked to make it blunt. thye concluded this with they do not belive however that it is skitz. so they do not belive that i am skitz. is that good?
the day ended with the CT SN. that is where they scann your brain. That was because they needed to put needles in me i think so i could sit there and watch them and be bored and tell them that it was not deep enough and that the pain was far to little to please me sexualy, only to get them to look at me likt WTF IS WORNG WITH U.then i was asked questions and i answered them the best i could. then they did the scan after the injections of dye or something i guess. they then looked at them and looked at me like i have some insian disease or somthing. and i ljust laid there. and they continued and walked over and asked the most fucked quesitons for being in a kat. such as so you thinkyou are better and can tell me waht i am thinking. of curse the answer was no cause i cant tell him what he was thinking, and he made me mad and i told him to go home and fuck his boyfirend. in which he seemed very shiocked that i said suuch things. but i was a little pissed off that he was saying such things to me. wtf is a shrink doing in the cat room talkign to me aon mic anyway? and then then certain events occured such as i got out of it, and there wher 5 people in there reading the scan and then 2 more came in and they didnt undersdtand. whcih annouyed me. if you are going to scan my ass you need to have someone in there that knows what they are doing. i informed them of these thoughts. and they all said they know waht they are doing and told me to sit down. And then continued to say such things as the photo graphic momory does not stem such parts of the brain and that they do not know why it showed up in such way. so they did it 2 more times only to find out the same shit that they did beofer. so then i continued to walk out being liek eh fuck you all and i said when you fidn womeone that knows thats going on then let me know. Then i continued to walk out the door. Starkville hospitals are insian. dont you think? heh.
as for the charges brought apon me. i was todl since i tok a lie detector test and it was determoned that i do belive what i said whtn they asked to state my name and i said bram D_ _ _ _ _ and somethng else and a few other neames a few othere times, and it is clear that i really belive this, that the charges shall be dropped. they have decided if i really belived this then it was not a trick or ply for a scam and sincec i did not get anything out of it such as money or such things, and i did not try to take meony or anything, that it is very aparent that i was not out to hurt anyone or to inpersonate for the reasons of getting something, nor did i get nything, it was simply for the cause of my insaity. so thay have decided that there is ntohing that can really be done and it be fair to me or them. but that is what is going on. so to the 3 people that where talked to and dropped the charges i am very very sorry that such tings where done. and i am very sorry that i belived such and had you belive it. that is all for now. good day.