[She's kind of expecting punctuality on his part, so she's been lingering near the door - when he knocks it only takes a few seconds to go over and hit the button to slide it open. Her face is kind of unreadable and it doesn't look like she slept well.]
Hey.
[No more than that for now; she steps back to let him in.]
[She shifts restlessly for a moment. Quite a lot of the momentum that she worked up talking to Mozenrath has gone now, but everything she decided then is still true. She doesn't want this to blow over, she doesn't want to get away with it, she doesn't want to be someone who does this kind of stuff. She's not crazy. If Tim can't or won't forgive her then she'll just have to roll with the blow.]
And why was the Doctor even telling you what happened to - oh, who cares.
[She looks away.]
I didn't know exactly what it would do. I was told it would make somebody's worst nightmare come true, I - I didn't think through what that might mean.
[Really, really obvious that she hates that fact, although she might be a tiny bit hard to read right now just because she doesn't often give off solid waves of self-loathing.]
[He hears it, and even if it's difficult, even if it looks weird on her - and he really doesn't like how it looks - he can recognize it. And that makes this whole thing even more uncomfortable.]
I'm admitting it now, aren't I? And tomorrow I'm going to tell everybody else it matters to. [Well, she's not, because dinosaurs are going to come right in and ruin her plans. She exhales harshly.] Tim, I don't -
[Shego sits down heavily on the end of her bed, staring at the floor. If talking about it to Mozenrath was difficult then this was nigh-on impossible. At least when she inevitably has this conversation for a third time with Kenzie, she'll be protected by not knowing him well enough to care what he thinks of her.]
- look. The fact that I am not the kind of person who would do this is one of the few things that has stopped me going completely off the rails while I've been here. No matter what happens to me, I am not one of the psycho contingent who can torture people and not care. But you know what happens next, right? It is impossible to keep secrets here, and when it comes out, as far as the Barge cares I am that person. I might as well be. That's why I haven't told anybody else yet.
[He let his breath out slowly, thinking. He could understand, at least he could do that. Sort of. Revenge wasn't a new thing, but it wasn't a commendable thing, either.]
But you're not that person, [he said, and after a moment's hesitation went to crouch in front of her.] I know that. The people close to you know that. Is it going to matter, what anyone else thinks about you? [He reached for her hands.]
[She doesn't pull her hands away, but if he touches them he'll find them shaking a bit. She hates this. Hates that she's being weak, hates that she let Profit scare her into this, hates that Tim's...forgiving her? Hates that she can't explain: however much she's stopped caring about her reputation, it still matters to her. If everyone thinks she's that person, it degrades the reasons she has to not be that person.]
[Shaking, why was she shaking? He pressed his lips in a tight line, telling himself that he was not at a loss, that he could help his girlfriend, or at least be here for her if she needed him.]
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Hey.
[No more than that for now; she steps back to let him in.]
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You heard about what happened to Profit, right?
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I was asleep for most of Sveta's thing, but yeah. I read it over after.
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It was me. [Like she even needs to point it out, with that opener.] I broke into his room, spiked his wine.
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Did you know what it would do?
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[She looks away.]
I didn't know exactly what it would do. I was told it would make somebody's worst nightmare come true, I - I didn't think through what that might mean.
[Really, really obvious that she hates that fact, although she might be a tiny bit hard to read right now just because she doesn't often give off solid waves of self-loathing.]
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Why didn't you admit it?
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[Shego sits down heavily on the end of her bed, staring at the floor. If talking about it to Mozenrath was difficult then this was nigh-on impossible. At least when she inevitably has this conversation for a third time with Kenzie, she'll be protected by not knowing him well enough to care what he thinks of her.]
- look. The fact that I am not the kind of person who would do this is one of the few things that has stopped me going completely off the rails while I've been here. No matter what happens to me, I am not one of the psycho contingent who can torture people and not care. But you know what happens next, right? It is impossible to keep secrets here, and when it comes out, as far as the Barge cares I am that person. I might as well be. That's why I haven't told anybody else yet.
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But you're not that person, [he said, and after a moment's hesitation went to crouch in front of her.] I know that. The people close to you know that. Is it going to matter, what anyone else thinks about you? [He reached for her hands.]
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I know. I know it shouldn't.
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But it does.
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[She laughs hollowly.]
I liked to think I was above this, y'know?
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