(024) - [VIDEO] - the farewell post
[Denise is once again reclining mannishly in a chair and sipping a beer.]
Okay, I know I said I was gonna stick around and terrorize you guys with Parker, but I recently realized something: I wouldn't give a shit about whoever I got assigned to next. Seriously, I look at the inmates here and all I can focus on are the serial killers, whackjob fundies and torture fetishists--and I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't be able to care at all about any of 'em. Sick freaks.
That's why I'm leaving. I figure hey, if the most I can manage is negligence, not being here at all will save some poor son of a bitch from getting an uninvolved warden. This is my version of altruism, I guess. I mean, whatever, right?
Parker, keep on doing your thing. Forcibly insert a foot in every ass that deserves it, and pound a few shots in my honor.
[She drops her voice momentarily.]
And I'm proud of you, okay? Just don't make a thing of it, seriously.
Paddy, continue to...not be a douchebag to her, I guess. We're cool.
And Judas? You're a good guy, but you're constantly landing yourself in shit. Stick with those two, they won't fuck you over.
The rest of you can SUCK IT. [She snaps her free hand down in a small motion, gesturing towards her crotch.] I graduated my first and only inmate, my deal's complete and I'm going home.
LATER, BITCHES.
Okay, I know I said I was gonna stick around and terrorize you guys with Parker, but I recently realized something: I wouldn't give a shit about whoever I got assigned to next. Seriously, I look at the inmates here and all I can focus on are the serial killers, whackjob fundies and torture fetishists--and I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't be able to care at all about any of 'em. Sick freaks.
That's why I'm leaving. I figure hey, if the most I can manage is negligence, not being here at all will save some poor son of a bitch from getting an uninvolved warden. This is my version of altruism, I guess. I mean, whatever, right?
Parker, keep on doing your thing. Forcibly insert a foot in every ass that deserves it, and pound a few shots in my honor.
[She drops her voice momentarily.]
And I'm proud of you, okay? Just don't make a thing of it, seriously.
Paddy, continue to...not be a douchebag to her, I guess. We're cool.
And Judas? You're a good guy, but you're constantly landing yourself in shit. Stick with those two, they won't fuck you over.
The rest of you can SUCK IT. [She snaps her free hand down in a small motion, gesturing towards her crotch.] I graduated my first and only inmate, my deal's complete and I'm going home.
LATER, BITCHES.