Comment fic meme #3
Here we go for the post-exchange comment fic meme. (Posted on the mod account as usual because I don't want to enable anonymous comments on the exchange comm.)
A couple of rules:
- please include the pairing/character (and maybe a short prompt/kink) in the comment title - both for prompts and for fills.
- there are both show and book fans in this ( Read more... )
A couple of rules:
- please include the pairing/character (and maybe a short prompt/kink) in the comment title - both for prompts and for fills.
- there are both show and book fans in this ( Read more... )
He had not loved her, and yet when he lies with Sansa he cannot help but think of those days so long gone. He had not loved her but he had loved himself then - strong and eager, handsome and infallible, the world at his feet and his heart still full of dreams. He still believed in knights then, he thinks, and had cared not a fig for things such as crowns and castles and conquering. He had still believed if he loved Cersei enough, if he wanted her enough, he would be able to have her - for he had always had everything he wanted, as long as he wanted it enough, and so why should this be any different? Everything had been before him, ripe for the taking.
“No,” he repeats, and his voice is a bit gentler this time, watching as the breeze stirs Sansa’s hair - it is lighter than her mother’s had been, but in the darkness it is hard to tell, especially now that all the muted, drab brown has been washed away. “She merely reminds me of better times.”
She does not protest to this, nor does he expect her to - neither of them pretends that this is the best of times.
Sansa keeps her head lowered over her work - maid’s work, really, but her hands are long gone from delicacy. It is only when Jaime hears a sniffle that he realizes that she is crying, and he feels a flutter of irritation and regret at the same time - of course, he is as ever the culprit, and he runs his left hand wearily over his face. “I am sorry, my lady,” he offers finally. “I meant - I mean you no offense.”
“You are not the first,” she tells him bitterly, her voice thicker now even as she keeps her head bowed, and he raises his eyebrows in interest. Her time at the Eyrie is not something she speaks of - he learned from the first that such questions are unwelcome and will only be ignored. She looks up now, and he starts at the brim of emotion in her eyes, more than he has seen before - perhaps Baelish did not stamp all the life out of her after all, he thinks, he hopes. “She was my mother, and she is dead now. Leave her to her peace.”
The passion in her voice surprises him, and it is that more than anything that moves him to true repentance. He knows enough to know that it is not passion for him, nor for Petyr Baelish - it is for her family, the bits and memories she keeps locked away, the secret place she keeps them that he and others have shamelessly invaded with mentions of her mother. Catelyn belongs to Sansa, as does Ned Stark, and her brothers and sister, and he and no other man has a right to them, should not breathe their names as though they knew them. He is suddenly keenly glad that he answered truthfully, that he had never loved Catelyn Tully, for he thinks saying such a thing would have moved her to rage rather than to tears. And, he realizes, not because she resents serving as a substitute, but because she resents others pretending to have loved those whom she had loved best.
It is her love for her family, the past, for what once was - for better days - and how cruelly they are picked away from her, what little remains to her, that brings her to anger.
It is a thing he, more than anyone, perhaps, can understand.
He rests a hand on her shoulder, squeezing, and feels a bit of tension leave her posture. “I am sorry,” he repeats, and this time, he means it in truth.
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Really nice characterisation. (and Cat, dammit, CAT)
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UGH, this is just so good. So, so good. YOU ARE GIVING ME SO MANY JAIME FEELS HERE THEY ARE LOOK AT THEM. I LOVE how he's constantly afraid of calling her "Cersei", but that he comes to realize that she'd be able to handle that better than what he DOES call her. AND AHHHHH CATELYN TULLY MAKES HIM THINK OF BETTER, PURER TIMES. Those had been the days before war, before kingslayers and kinslayers, before Starks and Baratheons and Lannisters were felled one by one, where a boy could chase a girl through the godswood with no true intention of catching her. This line is perfection. Because my darling Jaime believed in dreams and knights once upon a time. ATHEIOARPJEIROPEJAO KEYBOARD SMASH.
You also touch on one of the essential tragedies of Jaime as a character (I say "one of" because there are so many): the Jaime who met Cat at Riverrun was pretty much the most privileged person possible. He had his looks and his position and the gold and the inheritance- as you say, young Jaime Lannister had every reason to believe that he could have anything he wanted. AND THEN THINGS HAPPEN AND HE REALIZES THAT ISN'T TRUE AND WATCH ME CRY FOREVER.
And obviously my bb Sansa just gives me the sads here. It's heartbreaking that she doesn't mind being a replacement, but she DOES mind the idea of someone else laying claim to the people she loves/loved. Because memories are all she has leffffttttt of her familllllyyyyyyyyyy. ;-;
SO YES I LOVE THIS AND YOU. MWAH!!
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I hadn't even really planned on it before I started writing, but once I did I just EXPLODED WITH JAIME FEELS. Because part of the reason I like Jaime/Catelyn is the sort of juxaposition of the first meeting (adorable innocent flirty times in Riverrun) and their interactions when he's the prisoner in the Stark camp. And in a situation where he DID call Sansa 'Cat', I see it more as a longing for those TIMES rather than a longing for Catelyn herself (although head!canon will forever be that even later on, he likes Catelyn because she's KINDA A LOT LIKE CERSEI IN SOME WAYS). And that period in his life was when he was golden and infallible and sometimes he just wants to be there again. <333 OH JAIME.
Sansa's reaction was the hardest to pin down and why it took so long for me to write it. XD I didn't want it to just be a case of "OMG SAY WHAT???" because with all she's been through, I felt like it needed to be more than that. And I just see her being very protective of the memories of her family because that's all she has (CRYING FOREVER BRB) and she doesn't want anyone encroaching on that. They're HER family and they don't belong to anyone else so STFU Petyr JAIME. (Because obvs it was about SO MUCH MORE than just Jaime).
THANK YOU MY LOVEEEEE!!! SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!
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And Sansa gives me all the feelz! Her reasoning for being upset is perfect. The way that Petyr tries to appropriate Cat for himself and rewrite Sansa's childhood is one of the most galling things about him. Like Sansa says, "she was my mother," and I love that Jaime understands that much. Sansa's family belongs to her, not to dodgy not-ex-boyfriends, XD. Great job with this!!
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AND OH MY SANSA. =( I didn't want to make Sansa into Lysa v.2.0, aka resentful of the comparisons or delusional. Instead she's just angry that people keep trying to hone in on our family. Like you said, they're hers, not dodgy not-ex-boyfriends. XD So glad you liked!
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