It's Imperative that YOU understand!!
Dear H,
Well last night was my first night in my college apartment with my roommate. So many things to cover… I guess I will start with the drive up here. First and foremost I had to say goodbye to my cats, and that was fucking heartbreaking. I cried like a damn baby… I am going to miss them, and I am missing them right now. I would give more than anything to lean down and pet ken and ree. Or to just see them on the end of my bed curled up happy. I cried saying bye to Trina and Tammi. It was really hard to just get in the car and leave everyone like that. Orion cried, which made it even harder. What sucks is how my cats don’t even understand that I am gone… L
Then the drive turned into this epic journey of like… seven hours. It only took seven hours because we stopped a few times. We ate something, stopped for gas, and got turned around at one point. But the drive was so pretty… going through all the twists and turns filled with nature. It went from lakes, to trees, to mountains… in the distance you could see Mt. Shasta, and it was all covered in snow and all that amazing crap. Really beautiful! Then we got on campus and it was pretty damn dark. From there we had no clue wtf to go. Eventually we just got out of the car and checked a campus map and were put on the right direction.
We get to my room. Which is nothing like I was anticipating… so small, no kitchen, fucked off bathroom? Hal made my bed into a bunk bed with a ladder. So then my desk and dresser got put under. So I have my own little corner. I really like it… it’s the first time I’ve had a room to call partly mine since last march. Regardless of how lame it is, it’s mine and has my crap… you can tell it’s mine. I was feeling sad this morning until I put my action figures out. I put them on top of my dresser so it reminds me of just how it was at home. I was halfassedly expecting my cats to just topple them all down L
So my roommate comes in while we’re putting my crap together. She seemed alright… I mean, chill. She turned on the sharks game so we could listen to them hella lose in the shootout. But she seems alright. (I talked to her more today btw) So she works for the housing department and is a senior. This is her last semester here and so she’s ready to graduate. She’s cool with me smoking pot, as long as I don’t get her caught up because that could compromise her job. But yea, we talked about the sharks, a little about ourselves. I think it’s pretty clear we both are chill and plan on doing our thing. I think it’ll be fine, we’re going to be respectful to one another so I can see it totally working out.
Then I totally had to sleep… no lie, it was comforting when I found out everyone got a room to stay in. it was like… I wasn’t really actually alone. Now I am alone up here… so tonight will be a test… I wonder if I’ll fall asleep easy or… if it’s going to be really hard. I plan on just watching anime again until I fall asleep. It’s uncomfortable though with the laptop on the bed, I need to figure out a better set up. But all I’ve been doing is texting people. No one to talk too… I miss all my smoking companions, now I am alone and have to mission it. It’ll be a risk finding someplace to toke. Tomorrow morning I don’t care if it kills me, I will be smoking for sure!
Today I wondered around campus and got lost. I walked around for like three to four hours… I found three out of four classes. I still feel really turned around and it kind of sucks. Even at the Library I was turned around. The lady wasn’t that nice to me who did my ID card… that was a little disheartening. The only thing that has been truly apparent to me is people’s attitudes. People haven’t really been that nice, and I’m not sure why. Is it me? I don’t know… But I do know that it’s annoying to have people treat me rudely and I’ve done nothing. If anything it just makes me want to NOT be like them. I am going to be nice and polite, fuck it. Even if someone is hella rude to me I am willing to hella suck it up and be the better person and just let it slide. When I’m a senior (in one year) I will be hella helpful to others. That is so far what I’m learning…
Okay, going to end this entry… more to write when classes actually start! But I hope I will make it… I’m feeling positive, but I already want to give my mom a hug… I miss her… I want to smoke with Kirstie; I wanna sengoku with Trista…. I want to go have a cigarette with Tammi, Matt tagging along. I wanna go into Trina’s room to tell her some random thing while I pet FiFi. I want to hop in the car, toke with Jessica and watch American Horror. I want to drive around with Miku and stalk… WTF… I can’t make myself cry… uuuug…
NOT SSDD, totally not…