Fic - For What It's Worth (10/25)
Title: For What It's Worth
Chapter: 10/25
Rating: M
Ship: James/Kendall, Logan/Camille, side Carlos/Dak, Carlos/Lucy, Jett/Mercedes, and Guitar Dude/Jennifers
Summary: AU. Kendall was a dancer when he was a kid, but when his dad unexpectedly passed away, he had to give it up. He becomes a bit of a stoner, and ends up in a little trouble, and his mother decides that she doesn't want her son living that life. So the Knights pick up and move all the way across the country, to L.A. That's where Kendall meets his cousin, Camille, her boyfriend, Logan, the wacky dresser and actor, Carlos, and, among them all, James. James is a ballet dancer with more ambition than Kendall's ever known. Though the two of them do not get along at first, James finally convinces Kendall to use his natural talent, rather than waste it, and they find each other as kindred spirits, and eventually, lovers. This doesn't come without difficulties. With James' ex-partner, Mercedes; the pompous actor-extraordinaire, Jett, and even Kendall's best friend, Joseph (Guitar Dude) getting in the way. But in may not be a person that come between them. It may be the actual thing that brings them together that splits them apart.
Artwork By:thilia
Beta: jblostfan16
Author's Note: This is my bigtimebang. Woo! I had been playing with this idea for awhile when this finally came around and then Cassie convinced me to do it. And it kinda got away from me. Lol! But anyway, I won't ramble. Strap in. It's a long ride.
Chapter Ten
Weeks passed. Kendall felt them breeze by him in a haze. He was so buried in all the work he had to do. The school year kicked into full gear, and being in Mr. X’s class, no matter how naturally gifted everyone thought he was, was still insanely difficult. He went home every night with heavy eyes and aching limbs. He was learning a lot, but he was exhausted. He ended up having to change his diet and sleep schedule just to keep up with the intensity. James gave him a book full of recipes including protein shakes, and though a few of them were hard to swallow, Kendall was able to kick his smoothie habit. Sort of.
He and James were attached at the hip. He wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but throughout the classes and the practicing, he was always in the studio. And so was James. So yeah. That happened.
Mercedes Griffin was not pleased at that outcome at all. Especially when it came time to pick partners.
It wasn’t like it was Kendall’s fault. He was making his way over to ask a mousy brunette if she wanted to partner up when James laid his claim.
“Kendall, be my partner.”
Kendall raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Be my partner.”
“Aren’t we supposed to partner up with girls?”
James rolled his eyes. “There are no rules for gender specification. Besides, I have an idea, and I need you to help me with it. I’ve got this great idea for a dance.”
“Uhhh, James, I thought we were going to be partners?” Mercedes’ voice teetered on shrill almost immediately, her eyes casting darkly over Kendall.
“Sorry,” James said, not noticing any implications behind her death grip on his arm. “I’m spoken for, I suppose. Right?”
Kendall didn’t want to agree. He really didn’t.
But actually he kinda did.
“Uhh… whatever you wanna do… James.”
“Excellent. I will fill you in about all the details during practice tonight. It’s gonna look great.”
Kendall didn’t look Mercedes in the eye after that. He was fairly certain he would explode.
…
“Oh man. Nooooo.”
“What?”
“Mercedes Griffin? She is not the girl you want to piss off.”
Somehow the nail sticking out of Carlos’ forehead made his statement more dramatic. Carlos had just gotten out of Stage Makeup. Kendall couldn’t stop staring at the fake wound, which was saying something considering Carlos’ jeans were covered in sequins.
“Yeah, I kinda got that by the evil glare she’s been burning into my skull for the past few weeks.”
“No, Kendall. You don’t understand. Her dad is like. Satan. El Diablo. Scary. And he does everything for his daughter. They’re super loaded. I bet he has a hit on you right now. Mobsters are gonna shoot you down in no time.”
Kendall rolled his eyes. “You’re being dramatic.”
Carlos crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows. “Only a little. That’s the bad part.”
“Hey, quit dicking around. We’ve got practice to do,” James greeted, coming up behind Kendall on the steps and mussing his hair. “Come on.”
“I can’t dance right now. Didn’t you hear? Mercedes put a hit out on me!” Kendall laughed. “I’m going to be shot down in a few minutes. I bet there’s a sniper rifle trained on me right now.”
“Well, you’ll be less likely to be shot if you’re not sitting around.” James hooked his arms under Kendall’s and pulled him to his feet.
Kendall stumbled a little, falling back against James’ chest. “You are way too excited to start this little project of yours. Did you force me into joining the class for this purpose?”
James raised an eyebrow, craning his neck to leer over Kendall. “You’ll never know for sure.”
Carlos leaned on a hand and smiled up at them. “Oh, stop it. Stop flirting.”
“What?” Kendall raised an eyebrow.
“Come on. We’ve got work to do.” James completely ignored Carlos’ comment, dragging Kendall off to the dance studio.
He closed and locked the door, which he didn’t usually do when he practiced. “I don’t want any of this to get into other people’s hands right now. This… this, Kendall, is going to be the most personal thing I’ve ever produced.”
Normally, Kendall would have interrupted. Taken the opportunity to smart off or poke fun at James. But there was something fiery in his eyes, something that glued Kendall’s feet to the floor, made his pulse jump in his veins.
“Okay…” Kendall swallowed. “What’s it about, James?”
James was tying his shoes on. “You’re about to learn a lot about me.”
He turned on the music, moving around the floor, trying different little movements in the swell of the romantic, lilting little tune.
Kendall stood there awkwardly, not really sure what James wanted him to do.
“It’s about the first time I fell in love,” James said gently. “Come here. Put on your shoes.”
Kendall did as he was told, watching as James lowered himself to the floor, flat on his back. “I want to improvise a little. But this is how I want to start. Reach out to me and help me up.”
Kendal lifted his arm from his side, trying to keep a good dancer’s posture as he leaned over James. James’ fingers laced around Kendall’s palm, and he twisted and curled upwards, upwards, upwards, until he was on his toes in front of Kendall, face-to-face. He smiled and took a few steps back, not relinquishing Kendall’s hand. He moved slowly, with strength and motivation. For some reason, Kendall was immediately intimidated.
“What do you… er… want me to-“
“Dance with me, Kendall,” James pulled him closer. “We’ll work out the rest later. This is supposed to be romantic, uncertain, sexual, terrified.”
Kendall swallowed, moving around the floor with James. “I’m assuming that you… fell in love… with a guy?”
“So observant.”
They were ridiculously close. Kendall had to make special efforts not to step on James’ feet, their limbs intertwined, moving back and forth.
“Kendall, you need to relax.”
“You could have told me about this sooner, so I’d know what I was getting into, you know.”
“Why would I do that? You’re a great improviser.”
“Yes, but I didn’t know the theme-“
“Are you ashamed of it?...” James’ face fell. “I can change it if you’re uncomfortable. I just had a lot of things in mind…”
“No. No, that’s fine. I was just… uninformed.”
They continued their dance for a minute or two.
“What happens after this part?”
James’ eyebrows knitted together briefly. “We get to symbolize my dad kicking me out of the house.”
James’ hands slid to Kendall’s waist, and Kendall bit back a yelp of surprise, leaping off the floor as James spun. Then, he was slowly being lowered to the floor, his nose slipping just briefly against James’. His breath caught.
“Uh… I think that’s good for today. Don’t you?” James looked a little flustered. Kendall understood. Dancing that close to him was… weird.
Kendall broke away from James, realizing that they were still a little wrapped up in one another. “Yeah. Yep. Definitely enough for today.”
A long pause.
“Um… so… when do you want to practice?”
“Oh, uh. You know. Whenever you’re free.” James’ face was growing redder by the second. He quickly threw himself into the business of packing his things. “I’ll call you.”
“You don’t have my number.”
“Well, we should fix that, shouldn’t we?”
“We should. We should.”
Kendall reached out and snatched James’ cell phone before he could offer and programed his name and number into it. “There. You can call or text me. You know. Whenever you’re free.”
“Yeah. Of course.”
Kendall didn’t think James would call him. At least not right away. Kendall knew he had to kick the awkwardness out of the room before they tried again.
…
Some friend you’re turning out to be.
Kendall stared at the display on his phone, smoke creeping from his lips like snakes slithering up his face. He hit the ‘Call’ button.
“Oh, so a nasty text gets your attention. Good to know.” Joe didn’t sound pleased in the least.
“I’m sorry, okay?” Kendall choked a little on the smoke in his throat, coughing. “It’s been crazy.”
“Yeah, that’s been your excuse for two fucking months.”
Two months? It’d been two months? Kendall actually had to stop and count the days to realize that, yeah, it had. Well, almost.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Kendall felt guilt drenching him, weighing him into the chair. Even the weed in his system couldn’t keep him floating.
“You should be. You know how quiet it is in this city without you? I’ve got no one. I guess you got a whole bunch of new friends.”
Kendall briefly thought of Carlos and Logan and James and Camille, but he didn’t say anything about them. It wasn’t the time. “Joe, I’m dancing again.”
There was a long silence on the other line. Kendall thought he might have lost him for a second. “…Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve been working on a project for this school. I’m one of the best ones there.”
“You’re being humble. You’ve always been the best.”
Kendall’s heart hurt at the sadness in Joseph’s voice. He was honored that the guy thought so highly of him, even though he was a complete asshole for not calling.
“I’m really not.”
“Kendall, I know you sat outside those dance classes when waiting for me to finish my lessons. You did it every day. I’m not stupid. I know why you waited at the end of the hall instead of right outside my room.”
“Yeah, but you also sucked at the cello.”
Joe laughed, and it wasn’t hearty like Carlos’, or cautious like James’. It was smoky, a little rough and husky. Just like it’d been for years. It dragged Kendall across the states and into Joe’s bedroom, where they’d spent so many evenings just like the present: the sun dipping low in the sky, the windows open, smoke rising into the sky and disappearing. Except they weren’t on opposite sides of the country. Kendall missed him intensely in that moment, a long, aching homesickness that cut him to the core.
“I did. I really fucking did, man.”
“Are you playing it now?”
“Haha, fuck that. I can outwit anyone who comes between me and my smoke.”
Kendall took a puff, feeling like he was saluting his friend’s work.
“So you come across any hot chicks?”
Kendall nearly choked again. “I haven’t really been looking.”
He really hadn’t. The only girls he’d even really talked to at length were his cousin and Mercedes. And Mercedes kind of wanted to cut his balls off, so their conversations weren’t primo or anything.
“Really? Come on, man. You’re out there in the sunshine. It’s never fucking cold. Bikini tops. Always. Get some ass while you’re there. Jeez.”
Kendall wasn’t really interested in getting any ass. He hadn’t been in NYC either. Joe was always hanging on whatever pretty girl ventured into the reflection of his sunglasses. Kendall had found it rather amusing, but he’d never really cared when eyes lingered on him. He was always caught up in something else - his mind was steadily occupied.
Not that he hadn’t had lips on his dick or anything before. All kinds of things went down in THE Guitar Dude’s bedroom.
“I don’t need ass to survive like you do, dude.”
“Oh, come on. There’s gotta be someone you wouldn’t mind boning.”
He saw a flash of eyes in his vision, long eyelashes and intensity. He shook them out of his mind. “No, dude. I’ve been so caught up in these dance classes, I hardly have time to think.”
“Well that’s good. You were never all that good at thinking.”
“Fuck you,” Kendall replied good-naturedly.
“So. Got any plans?”
Kendall shrugged a shoulder, then remembered Joe couldn’t see him. “I think I got roped in to going to Malibu next weekend. We don’t have classes next Friday.”
“Damn. Someone’s living the life.” There was a twinge of jealousy that Kendall knew had nothing to do with money. After all, Joe had plenty.
“Don’t be mad at me.”
“Kendall…” Joe sighed, and Kendall imagined smoke blowing through the device. “You’re… replacing me.”
“What? No I’m not! You’re my best friend!” Kendall felt the words roll out of his mouth, more awkward, harder to say than they ever had been.
He didn’t like growing apart from people. He liked to think he made better efforts at things than that.
“Look, I gotta go. Dad’s knocking.”
“Joe-“
“Later.”
He hung up.
Kendall stared at his cell phone, sobered and depressed and feeling like a shitty friend.
He sighed.
He had the house to himself for the evening. Camille was out with Logan. Katie was staying over at a friend’s house - probably plotting to rule the planet or something. His mother and his uncle had gone out for drinks with the neighbors.
Kendall was no social butterfly. That was for sure.
He thought about calling Carlos and going out and getting in a little trouble, but his phone rang before he could.
“Hello?”
“Is this Kendall?”
“Yes.”
“It’s James.”
“Oh. Oh, hey.”
“Are you busy?”
Kendall chewed his lip, arguing with himself over whether or not to lie. He decided not to. “No, not really.”
“Do you want to meet at the studio?”
“Um… how about you just come here? I can order pizza and we can practice. The place is empty for the evening.”
“Oh…” James sounded nervous. Kendall could hear him fidgeting on the line. “Y-yeah. Sure. What’s your address?”
Kendall gave James directions to the place and they hung up. As he moved down the stairs, he couldn’t stop the weird, bubbling feeling in the back of his neck. That had to go. He wasn’t about to start awkward half-conversations with James. If James wanted to make a masterpiece, Kendall sure as hell wasn’t going to stand in his way.
He went over to the stereo and turned it on.
…
“Come in!”
“What are you doing?” James asked.
Kendall slid down the banister of the staircase and hit the floor on the balls of his feet. Click-clack.
“I. Am limbering up.”
The scrape of his flaps against the tile was particularly satisfying, especially when he did a fun little circle around James, who looked like he’d just stepped into Oz.
“But we’re not tapping.”
“So? Tapping’s fun.” Kendall grabbed James’ arm and pulled him further into the foyer. James fell in step with him - he couldn’t help it.
“I don’t have any shoes!”
“You have sneakers on right now. Make some noise!” Kendall twirled James, laughing.
“Are you high?”
He was a little. After all, he’d spent the past couple hours smoking. But James needed to loosen up. Big time.
“You should try it some time,” Kendall said. “You could use a little lightening up.”
“I have important things planned and you’re clicking around here like an idiot. You’re showing no kind of technique-“
“See?”
“Kendall-“
Kendall slid on his heels, raising an eyebrow at James. “James.”
James fought the smile with every muscle on his face, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You’re an idiot.”
Eventually, Kendall’s goofing settled down - mainly because the pizza guy got there and James refused to let him answer the door with a flare of fancy footwork.
They sat on the floor and ate pizza, just because.
“So, can we actually get to work after dinner?”
Kendall smiled. “Sure. After cheesy goodness.”
“I think we’ve had enough cheese for the evening, don’t you, Fred Astaire?”
“Never enough. Besides, it’s way more fun than working all the time.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“Yes, which is why I prepared that elaborate little show. Give me a little credit.”
“It wasn’t elaborate,” James said through a mouthful of food. “It was sloppy and completely lacking in technique.” He paused. “But thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The awkwardness melted away into something warm and comfortable.
Then Kendall heard Joe’s words in the back of his brain, a sad little echo: Kendall… You’re replacing me. But he didn’t think he was. Joe was his best friend. Kendall didn’t feel the same way for James that he did about Joe. He didn’t really want to confront that either. He just knew that James was not squeezing into a best-friend slot in his heart. He was something alarmingly different.
Again, not something he wanted to think about.
More important things.
“James. Tell me about your masterpiece.”