Fic - For What It's Worth (8/25)
Title: For What It's Worth
Chapter: 8/25
Rating: M
Ship: James/Kendall, Logan/Camille, side Carlos/Dak, Carlos/Lucy, Jett/Mercedes, and Guitar Dude/Jennifers
Summary: AU. Kendall was a dancer when he was a kid, but when his dad unexpectedly passed away, he had to give it up. He becomes a bit of a stoner, and ends up in a little trouble, and his mother decides that she doesn't want her son living that life. So the Knights pick up and move all the way across the country, to L.A. That's where Kendall meets his cousin, Camille, her boyfriend, Logan, the wacky dresser and actor, Carlos, and, among them all, James. James is a ballet dancer with more ambition than Kendall's ever known. Though the two of them do not get along at first, James finally convinces Kendall to use his natural talent, rather than waste it, and they find each other as kindred spirits, and eventually, lovers. This doesn't come without difficulties. With James' ex-partner, Mercedes; the pompous actor-extraordinaire, Jett, and even Kendall's best friend, Joseph (Guitar Dude) getting in the way. But in may not be a person that come between them. It may be the actual thing that brings them together that splits them apart.
Artwork By:thilia
Beta: jblostfan16
Author's Note: This is my bigtimebang. Woo! I had been playing with this idea for awhile when this finally came around and then Cassie convinced me to do it. And it kinda got away from me. Lol! But anyway, I won't ramble. Strap in. It's a long ride.
Chapter Eight
Kendall milled around the gas station for a few minutes, filling his hand basket with bottles of orange and yellow Gatorade and some power bars, then managed to stop by the deli right before it closed and got a bowl of soup with a bread bowl to go. He carried his purchases up the stairs to James’ dorm, thoughts scattered in his brain.
He had planned to dance that evening. Instead, he was playing nurse to a guy that wasn’t really all that nice to him in the first place.
His mom had raised him to be a sap. That’s what’d she’d done.
He called Camille on his way up the stairs. “Hey, don’t worry about coming to get me. I went home with Carlos.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I did. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, sweetness. I’ll spread the word to the folks. Goodnight. Oh, and watch your back. Carlos likes to play pranks when people sleep.”
Kendall noted that for further reference, but he also couldn’t help but wonder how on earth Camille knew that. He unlocked the door, and stepped inside.
James was on the edge of his bed, curled over, pulling his shirt over his head. He was moving slowly, painfully, gritting his teeth as the long line of his back was exposed to Kendall.
“Oh…” he muttered, glancing in Kendall’s direction. “You’re back. You wanna leave the key here this time?”
Kendall smiled, holding up the white paper bag. “I brought you soup.” He placed it on the counter awkwardly, along with the plastic bag from the gas station. “You… okay?”
James frowned, looking embarrassed. “I’m sore. I just wanted to put on some sweats.”
“Oh…” Kendall felt a blush creep up the back of his neck. “I can help.”
He helped pull the shirt over James’ head, then dug through James’ small dresser for a wife beater and sweatpants. And then he helped dress him. It was weird. It was really, really weird. Again, the guy wasn’t really Kendall’s biggest fan. Or maybe he was, considering his desperation for Kendall to share his gift. Afterwards, Kendall helped James to his tiny kitchen table and watched him hover over the broth Kendall brought back. He didn’t look much like he wanted to eat it, but he took a few tired bites.
His eyes were still weak and hazy with fever. Kendall kept forcing him to drink fluids.
“If you can’t keep them down, we’ll have to go to the ER.”
“No. We won’t. I don’t have health insurance. I’m not going to the hospital.” He let out a long sigh, almost like his entire body was deflating, but the line of his shoulders relaxed a little, probably more than Kendall had ever witnessed at least.
“Dude, you don’t have money? I thought everybody here had money.”
James closed his eyes slowly, like they were too heavy to keep open. “Do you?”
“Not… technically no. Moms and I came from pretty much nothing. After Dad died…” Kendall felt a sudden hurt well in his heart, and his words stopped short.
“Oh,” was all James responded with, his voice low and raw and tired.
“You okay?” Kendall reached across the table and brushed his fingers under James’ bangs, over his forehead.
“I’m fine. You can go now.”
Kendall frowned. “You’re still running fever.”
“It’s gone down. I’m way more hydrated. I can handle it.” James was leaning into Kendall’s hand, however, like it was holding his head up.
“Mmhm.” Kendall knew he sounded dubious.
He helped James back to bed, loaded up his bedside table, then plopped down in a chair nearby. It was hardly comfortable, but he wasn’t about to leave James to his own devices.
“Seriously. Get out,” James huffed.
“Nope.”
“Jerk.”
Kendall pulled out his phone to signify that he wasn’t about to move. “Gotta make sure you get those fluids, man.”
But by the time he looked up from his game of Tetris, James was fast asleep.
…
James only woke up three times that night. Twice to guzzle down liquids, and once to piss. And considering he got up on his own and seemed relatively fine, though a bit slow to move about, Kendall was pretty fine with leaving before James woke up. Besides, he hadn’t slept very well himself, and his neck ached from snoozing in the chair. He cut class and went straight home, feeling kind of like a good Samaritan, and really fucking pleased to get some real sleep.
He curled up in his bed and tried to ignore the sunshine raining through his window.
He dreamed of his dance class when he was a kid, pulling on his ballet shoes with an impish, childlike smile. He was so excited. Ballet class was fun, plain and simple. He enjoyed every second of it, and even at the tender age of ten, he was trying his hardest to be the best. Because the best got to perform more on stage. And he really liked that. He liked performing. And when he found out that there was a production of Thoroughly Modern Millie was auditioning people for a Broadway run, he knew he wanted to don some tap shoes and show them what he had.
But first things were first, he had to get ready for his dance recital, which was that evening.
“Okay, you all good, kiddo?” Kendall’s dad ruffled his hair. “Got your shoes? Your snack? Everything?”
“I’m fine, Dad,” Kendall giggled.
“Now, don’t overdo it. You’re going to be just fine tonight. You’re going to be great.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Kendall rolled his eyes like any kid would.
His father leaned in and pulled Kendall to his chest in a hug. “Kendall, I’m so proud of all your hard work.”
Kendall hugged back.
“So you’ll be there tonight?”
“Buddy, nothing would keep me from your recital.”
Except something did.
Kendall opened his eyes.
…
Music blasted through the studio, loud and staccato and powerful. Rodeo, choreographed by Agnes DeMille and written by Aaron Copeland. He’d studied it briefly over the years, cast his eyes over footage on the internet when he was feeling She had created everything. Copeland’s music was riveting, but Agnes? Man, she had it. Just guiding himself through the movements made Kendall feel like a king.
It was the perfect ballet audition for the higher levels in the program. He figured he could follow with a lilting Mozart number, then tap for them if they asked. He had plenty of tap numbers.
He honestly wasn’t sure how he came to the decision. It was like every part of his brain was screaming NO and flashing red signs at him. But he still decided to do it.
He was a little rusty though, so he figured some actual practice wouldn’t hurt.
“Hey! Look at you!”
Kendall turned, seeing Carlos, Logan, and Camille in the doorway, all grinning faces. Kendall blushed, grabbing the remote and turning off the stereo.
“What do you guys want?”
“Dude, the day’s over. Let’s go get dinner.”
Kendall smiled, knowing they’d probably waited around for him after classes ended. It was nice to feel wanted.
“Alright then.”
“Excuse me.”
All four heads turned again. James was standing in the opposite doorway, looking sheepish, like he’d just walked in on a party he wasn’t invited to.
“Oh, uh. Hey James.”
“I’m sorry… do you have plans?” James asked, not making eye contact with Kendall.
“Well, I-“ Kendall looked in direction of his friends. “…Why?”
“I wanted you to join… me. For dinner. Tonight. My treat.”
Kendall’s eyes widened.
“I mean, if you already have plans…”
“Nope!” Carlos yelped suddenly. “No plans.”
Kendall whirled around to stare at Carlos. “What about-“
“Bye!” Carlos was dragging Logan and Camille out the door.
“What?” Kendall didn’t even know what to do.
“Look, if you don’t want to, it’s fine,” James sighed. “I um… wanted to thank you. For helping me. That’s all.”
“You don’t have to wine and dine me to thank me. I was just making sure you were okay. Anybody would’ve done it.”
“No, see, that’s not true. Most people can’t stand me. Hell, you don’t even like me very much. But you still didn’t leave me there. And… that’s admirable. So I owe you an apology. And dinner. So let’s go.”
Kendall wasn’t quite comfortable with James spending money on him, considering he was pretty broke, but he also knew that James was probably the only person more stubborn than he was. Kendall showered and changed clothes, shrugging a button down over a t-shirt and jeans to combat the night air. James was dressed well, however - it made Kendall feel extremely underclass. James had a burgundy button down on over black slacks. He had a pair of dogtags peeking out from the slit where his shirt buttoned, but his chest was pretty well exposed. Kendall couldn’t help but think it really wasn’t fair for a guy to be that well-built.
They walked slowly down the sidewalks in relative silence, making Kendall severely regret his decision. He was betting Carlos and Camille and Logan were having the time of their lives at one of the local joints frequented by teenagers. James was all seriousness, his eyes a million miles away.
“So, um.. Where are we going?”
James came out of his trance. “Oh! Er… wherever you want. Do you like sushi?”
Kendall shrugged. “I’ve never had it.”
“What? How have you never had sushi?”
“Just never had the opportunity to try it.”
James’ lips twitched up at the corners. “Well, this seems like a good chance, hm? There’s a great place not too far from here if you don’t mind walking.”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“Good.” James shoved his hands in his pockets and upped his pace a bit. “Good.”
They walked the sidewalks for a good twenty minutes, and the silence was still awkward. Kendall had no idea what he had in common with James besides dance.
Then he decided that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start off with that.
“So… I decided to give the higher classes a try. I thought I’d let you know in case you were using the meal to try to convince me.”
“I’m not. But good. You should.” There was a twinkle in James’ eye that Kendall hadn’t seen before. He was pleased. Kendall just wondered what it would look like if he smiled.
They arrived at a little sushi bistro a few minutes later. James asked the hostess for a table for two, and they were escorted over to a tiny, dimly lit table in the back of the corner. Private. Kendall shifted a little uneasily in his shoes. The restaurant had a bit of a romance to it considering they were just grabbing some grub.
“I haven’t been here for dinner in a long time,” James said softly, scooting his chair closer to the table.
The hostess set down menus and glasses of water, asked them if they needed anything else, then disappeared, probably off to find their waiter.
“It’s really… uh… fancy. I feel underdressed.”
James waved his hand. “You’re fine. People come in here in sweats and stuff all the time and get take out.”
“Do you eat here a lot?”
“I used to wait tables here, actually. Until the school offered me work study. Now I do that instead. It’s easier on my schedule.” He traced his finger around the rim of the goblet that his water came in. “Nobody really knows me anymore though. The turnover rate is so quick in the restaurant biz.”
“Yeah,” Kendall nodded. “I worked retail back home. It was the worst.”
“Gross. Retail.”
Kendall chuckled. “Totally. So, you work at the school?”
“Yeah. I think the Dean has a lot of faith in me. He tries to work with me as much as he can. I got into the place on full scholarship. I’d hate to let him down.”
“Wow, full scholarship? That’s pretty crazy.”
“Yeah,” James sighed. “It’s a lot to live up to. But I have to get better so I can get into a good college. I need that dance scholarship.”
“You’ll get it,” Kendall said easily, opening up his menu. “So what’s good here?”
James scanned his own menu. “It’s all pretty good. If you want to start on easy sushi, a crunchy shrimp roll or shrimp tempura is good. Or spicy tuna.”
Kendall smiled. “Maybe I’ll be adventurous. I’ve never had eel before.”
“Eel is pretty good. Acquired taste. We can get some rice too, if you like. We can share it.”
“Sure.”
The waiter came over, took their order, and left. Kendall took a swig of his water and let out a refreshed Ah. “So. You’re obviously feeling better. Still drinking your fluids and whatnot?”
“I’m not going to end up a crumpled heap on the dance floor again, no.”
“Good.”
“Thank you, by the way…. I know I was kind of a jerk to you. I want you to know that I appreciate all the help. You stayed with me all night…. People don’t really do that for me. Never really did.”
“What, your mom and dad never stayed up with you when you were sick?”
James cast his eyes down to the table. “Mom was always working. Dad and I… it’s complicated.”
By the look on James’ face, Kendall figured he didn’t want to push that conversation any further for the moment. “Oh.”
“What have you done dance wise?” James asked.
“Not much. I haven’t really danced much since I was a kid. I was going to audition for Thoroughly Modern Millie when I was a kid. Just for an ensemble part. But it would’ve been a Broadway credit. Non-equity…. Never made the audition though.”
“You’re a good tapper. You would’ve done really well in that show. Why didn’t you audition?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now.”
“Okay…” James raised an eyebrow, intrigued.
The waiter brought their food over with a smile, and after refilling their water, left them to their own devices. Kendall had a difficult time working his chopsticks, jabbing and poking at his sushi.
James laughed.
Kendall stared.
When James lips curled back, and his eyes lit up, and his pearly whites flashed, Kendall nearly dropped his utensils. That just wasn’t fair. James was a beautiful human being.
“Here. Here, I’ll teach you.” James reached across the table and adjusted Kendall’s hands.
“Wow,” Kendall said.
“What?”
“You should smile more often.”
James looked sheepish. “Oh. Um. Thanks.”
Kendall enjoyed the sushi. He actually started to really enjoy the conversation as well. James talked about all his dance experiences, his shows, and Kendall felt like he was being whisked back to childhood, when things were still bright and shiny and exciting. They shared stories of their friends. Kendall learned about Carlos’ crazy shenanigans; James got to learn about Joseph a little bit. Kendall talked about his mom and his sister and how they’d come to reside in L.A. with Camille and her dad.
“What about you? Do you live with your family when school’s out?”
James shook his head. “No…. no. I actually kinda live with Carlos during the summer. He and I were freshmen together. He found out I really didn’t have anywhere to go, so… his folks just kinda took me in. But I like being on my own at the dorm. My schedule is all kinds of odd hours.”
“You don’t have anywhere to go?” Kendall felt his eyebrows arch.
“It’s complicated, like I said.” James put a credit card in the little black book on the table, paying the check. “That being said, it’s really cool that your mom picked up her life just to help you and your sister.”
“Yeah… she’s always thinking about us.”
“Must be nice.”
“It is.”
James tipped as generously as he could and they left the restaurant together.
“So do you know why Carlos is so clingy? Is it really the theatre kid thing?”
“Ummm,” James stretched his arms into the night sky. “Kind of. He’s definitely a cuddly guy. But he falls in love really easy, so be careful.”
Kendall felt dread in his chest. He hoped he hadn’t enjoyed Carlos’ clinginess too much. Then again, Carlos seemed perfectly fine with Kendall ditching him to eat with James. Encouraging even. That was weird.
“He really wanted me to do this tonight.”
“Yeah, he likes it when his friends are friends with each other, I think.”
“So you think he’ll be happy with how this whole thing turned out?”
James smiled again. “I’d say it could’ve gone a lot worse.”