For Wilson, at the apartment, NFB, and please no interruptions
House lay in the bed until he simply couldn't stand it any more. His body felt heavy, and he ended up crawling on all fours -well, three- to get to the bathroom. His mouth felt dry and disgusting, and he brushed his teeth even though he hadn't eaten, and wouldn't eat. Couldn't eat. The very thought of food made him nauseous, and he threw up in the
( Read more... )
"I think...I think I need to find the answers on my own. I may not understand the logistics, but I know you...I know you did what you had to do. It's one of the things I love about you, James. If you had been the one to authorise the surgery on my leg...I don't think, I know, it wouldn't have hit me so hard. You have always put everyone's needs above your own, you run around taking care of everyone else and forget to take care of you. I'm finally in a place where I can do that for you, and I nearly ruined it."
It would take time, House knew. Time to rebuild the trust and the strength. But they still had the love and the bond that bound them together. This was James Wilson. The man who had given him the force of hope, when he'd thought he had nothing at all. Though he'd never meant to repay the debt, he had a small window of opportunity now.
His cool blue eyes fixed on his lover's face. "You're my lover, James. My soul mate. We can work through this. We will work through this."
Reply
Sit next to House and...shyly...lay his head on his lover's shoulder. There was still a hint of fear there, concern that House would pull away again, "You're not better than Stacy.", raced through his mind and he had to close his eyes against it.
It would take time, he was so damn torn between utter devestation that when he'd needed House, he'd unwittingly made his lover so angry that he couldn't help him.
"I feel so utterly forsaken." Wilson whispered. He would have understood, exactly how alone House felt last night.
Reply
"What I said to you..." You're no better than Stacy "...I didn't mean it." His voice was very low, and threaded with apology and guilt and shame. "I said a lot of things...I shouldn't have said." But he knew WIlson knew exatcly what he was referring to. Notihng hurt as bad as that. Because Stacyhad utterly destroyed him, years earlier. And Wilson had been the one left to pick up the pieces.
"I don't deserve you, love. And you deserve so much more than me. But I love you, more than I even realised because last night when you were...gone...and I didn't know where you were..." He paused, eyes searching Wilson's face. "I didn't know if you'd do something stupid like I was thinking about...or if somethng would happen to you out there, or if you'd walk away from here and never come back..."
His lip and jaw trembled. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come back, James."
Reply
"I love you. I love you more then I have ever loved anyone in my life and I don't know..." His voice broke and he shifted, curling up on his side and laying his head in House's lap. "I thought I'd done a better job of helping you learn to trust again."
Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, Wilson began to tell House about everything that had happened the prior day. He told him about Shep coming in and having to be evacced to MCV, he told him about coming to the apartment, that he hadn't meant to just blurt out the news about Crowley, which sequed into telling House about going down to the shop, finding Crowley and Phale, the race to get CJ, sitting with CJ, then back to Crowley, back out to beg Tara, back to the apartment...Angel...the fight with Angel...well, not really a fight more Wilson snapping and yelling at the vampire and finally...he even told him about Snookums.
"Who knew...a duck could howl?"
Sometime in the telling, he'd reached for the water glass House kept by the bed. The water was stale but Wilson still drank it greedily.
Reply
"Animals are very perceptive to human emotions," he commented softly after the tale of he duck. That, was just odd. But in Fandom, House had learned not to question certain things.
"You have been invaluable to me over the last five years. I've never trusted people, as a rule. My father taught me that. But I trusted you, and I trusted Stacy. When she betrayed me, and it left only you...I know I fought you every step of the way for a long time, but deep down, I trusted you. I trusted you because you never backed down. No matter what stupid punk stunts I pulled...Any normal person would have hit the door running the other way, not towards me when I was throwing bedpans and food trays. I had a weak moment yeasterday, because...Because I was tired and my leg hurt like hell andwhat you were saying was something I couldn't understand. I've had time to numb the pain and...and realise just how much I love you, I need you, I trust you."
Reply
"And you needed me to be able to give you a better answer then I did." He said softly.
"We're only human, Greg. We both made mistakes last night won't be the last time." There was a thread of soft humor and also the unspoken promise that they would be together the next time as well.
"Just...I love you, House. Please never doubt that." He closed his eyes and turned so that he could bury his face in House's abdomen. It was an unspoken plea for House not to make him talk anymore, an unspoken plea for his lover to hold him.
Reply
He closed his eyes and just held on tight, rocking ever so gently, because it comforted him so he knew it must comfort Wilson too.
After a while, House sat up, and rolled his head from side to side to work a kink out of his shoulders. "You need a warm bath. Doctor's orders. Then, if you're up for it, I want to take you to the Fiare like we talked about earlier in the week." Before the crisis at the clinic.
Reply
"Could I have some toast, as well? My stomach's been a wreck most of the weekend."
It was hard, felt strange to be the one asking for something from House but Wilson knew that he needed his lover right now, perhaps more than he'd ever needed him in the past. He simply...couldn't do it all, even though that never seemed to stop him from trying.
Reply
Reply
He really was, just so damn thankful that House was still there, that House still wanted him there, it was hard to let his lover pull away but he knew House was right, he needed to get into a hot shower and try to chase away the chill that had settled into his body or else he was going to join Jack in the Clinic.
Standing up, he kept close so that House could reach for him if he needed him but otherwise busied himself with stripping out of his bloodstained clothes.
Reply
He set it to the ground, and made a face at it, realising it wasn't goingto help him much at the moment. "You. Shower." he said with a gentle firmness. "You want water or coffee? We're out of everything else."
Reply
"You''hould get crutches, House. You're going to need them for a couple of days or I'll have to pick your ass up off the floor...which I don't know if I can do."
Wriggling out of the burgundy silk, Wilson tossed them towards the hamper, unselfconscious about his nakedness, his total and utter vulnerability in front of the older man.
Reply
"You know I hate those things..." He growled, more to himself than to Wilson. They reminded him of a time he'd rather not remmeber. But, for Wilson he'd do it. Because there was no way he was going in to town on the cane.
Reply
"Don't care. Crutches."
Crawling into the shower, Wilson nearly cried out when the hot water hit his hyperchilled skin. Suddenly, sitting down seemed like a really good idea and so he did just that, sliding down along the shower stall wall to sit curled up beneath the pummeling warmth of the falling spray.
Reply
He'd been through two days of pure trauma, both clinical and personal. House had been a huge factor in that. And House wasn't a fool. He knew when to back off.
Besides, he had things to do. Crutches, from the coat closet out by the door to the clinic, because he refused to keep them in the bedroom. Then toast and water for Wilson.
He took a moment to go into the clinic to get an Ace bandage to wrap around his leg to insulate it from the cold, ran a quick check on the patients still tucked away in exam rooms, and went back tot he apartment before he could be missed.
He paused at the bedroom door. "Everything okay in there?"
Reply
Eventually he pushed his way back up to his feet and reached for the shampoo, it was going to take a couple of washes to get the blood out of his hair, he also needed to shave.
The younger doctor was finishing up with the razor when House called out to him and he nodded, wiping the remains of the cream off his face with a towel.
"Yes, I'll be right out."
Hissing through the application of aftershave, Wilson redressed himself in deliberately warm clothes and headed out towards the small kitchen. He still looked rough, gaunt and worn but his color was more normal and his eyes were a little more alert as he moved towards the toast.
"Blackraspberry jelly?" Hopeful!
Reply
Leave a comment