Gus the Nutless Wonder
I went to Josh and Liz's wedding shower this weekend. Naturally, it ruled. I have never been around so many awesome people at once. The shower was actually in two parts. The first part took place at a house that I swear I've seen on MTV Cribs before. I sat at a table with Roach, Jeff Hamm, Potter, Brandi, Liz's brothers and her cousin Danni. We had some grade-A, gut-busting fun telling tacky jokes. The best one came from Danni:
"What has seven arms and sucks?"
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"Def Leopard!" [insert uncontrollable, hyena-type laughter]
Anyhoo, after the present opening and bar-b-q eating we went to teri (josh's mom) and greg's house. It, like the first house, is amazing. Greg has a Plymoth Prowler. We took turns sitting in it and rocking out to Toad the Wet Sprocket. I was never a big fan of them, but somehow, in the Prowler, it all made sense...
We watched final destination. Here's what I learned from that movie: in order to escape death, one needs the following: duct tape, a shack in the woods, and lots and lots of deviled ham. Luckily, Richard Pryor came on after that. Both ends of the comedic spectrum.
Josh's mom gave me a dog! He's the coolest. His name is Gustav (he's a dachshund) and he has two tricks: he can pee straight up in the air and he can fuck a teddy bear sans both his nuts. He also understands stay and he can stand on two legs, but those are lame in comparison to the aforementioned feats.
"What has seven arms and sucks?"
-
-
-
-
-
"Def Leopard!" [insert uncontrollable, hyena-type laughter]
Anyhoo, after the present opening and bar-b-q eating we went to teri (josh's mom) and greg's house. It, like the first house, is amazing. Greg has a Plymoth Prowler. We took turns sitting in it and rocking out to Toad the Wet Sprocket. I was never a big fan of them, but somehow, in the Prowler, it all made sense...
We watched final destination. Here's what I learned from that movie: in order to escape death, one needs the following: duct tape, a shack in the woods, and lots and lots of deviled ham. Luckily, Richard Pryor came on after that. Both ends of the comedic spectrum.
Josh's mom gave me a dog! He's the coolest. His name is Gustav (he's a dachshund) and he has two tricks: he can pee straight up in the air and he can fuck a teddy bear sans both his nuts. He also understands stay and he can stand on two legs, but those are lame in comparison to the aforementioned feats.