Psycho Holiday
I feel really shit at the moment. As much as im trying to look on the brightside it's just not happening. Everyone is feeling shit right now which just makes things worse. I'm not really a big enough influence to help them either.
I stayed at Jon's on saterday because Melissa asked me to. We are getting on well recently which was good. It's like what ive needed. Ive felt so alone because I don't have friends to turn to. Accept her and a few others. I got really worried that ive fucked up our friendship because there was a really strange feeling between everyone yesterday. Im gonna have to talk to her at some point. I think she thinks im depressed because i still really like her. Thats my fault though because at Jon's when she came to give me a hug Ray decided to like... Join in? I wasnt jelous, just angry because at that moment I really wanted to just be alone with my friend and I meen, He stopped seeing her so why he had to like sit there kissing her is beyond me. In my experience friends don't pull and shit constantly. I also felt really let down by him, but i don't really wanna elaborate on that in public. Basically though he feels sorry for Me but likes Mel. It's like. how does he think I fucking feel? Ive liked Mel since about September. I still told him to ask her out. Despite the fact he only decided he liked her about two weeks prior to that. Anyway It's over now. I just wanna try and cheer her up because I really love that girl as a friend and she deserves it. Plus she had Me cheered up for which i owe her.
Nikki has turned into a bible basher. I just wanna say. Fuck your "God". Do what you want with your religion but stay the hell away from Nikki and my other friends. I just hope Nikki can find figure stuff out at some point. She's not my best friend but she's sure as hell one of them. It makes me happy to know that she cares about me pretty much no matter what and I can't help but do the same for her. As much as I don't show it which I'm very sorry for.
Infact I wanna take this time to say sorry to some of the people who cheer me up the most and ive kinda neglected etc. I'm sorry that Jamie is allways there for Me but yet I havnt found the time to have a proper conversation with him in months. I'm sorry if ive contriubted to Melissa's feeling shit and that I'm not really nice enough to her even though anything shes ever done for me was for my own good. I'm sorry to Nikki for taking advantage of her friendship by making fun of her and not talking to her enough. I'm sorry to the rest of you for times in the last couple of years (or months, depending on how long youve known me) were ive ignored you or treated you badly etc. I just want all of you to be happy. *thumbs up*
Anyway. Laters.
Lexi
I stayed at Jon's on saterday because Melissa asked me to. We are getting on well recently which was good. It's like what ive needed. Ive felt so alone because I don't have friends to turn to. Accept her and a few others. I got really worried that ive fucked up our friendship because there was a really strange feeling between everyone yesterday. Im gonna have to talk to her at some point. I think she thinks im depressed because i still really like her. Thats my fault though because at Jon's when she came to give me a hug Ray decided to like... Join in? I wasnt jelous, just angry because at that moment I really wanted to just be alone with my friend and I meen, He stopped seeing her so why he had to like sit there kissing her is beyond me. In my experience friends don't pull and shit constantly. I also felt really let down by him, but i don't really wanna elaborate on that in public. Basically though he feels sorry for Me but likes Mel. It's like. how does he think I fucking feel? Ive liked Mel since about September. I still told him to ask her out. Despite the fact he only decided he liked her about two weeks prior to that. Anyway It's over now. I just wanna try and cheer her up because I really love that girl as a friend and she deserves it. Plus she had Me cheered up for which i owe her.
Nikki has turned into a bible basher. I just wanna say. Fuck your "God". Do what you want with your religion but stay the hell away from Nikki and my other friends. I just hope Nikki can find figure stuff out at some point. She's not my best friend but she's sure as hell one of them. It makes me happy to know that she cares about me pretty much no matter what and I can't help but do the same for her. As much as I don't show it which I'm very sorry for.
Infact I wanna take this time to say sorry to some of the people who cheer me up the most and ive kinda neglected etc. I'm sorry that Jamie is allways there for Me but yet I havnt found the time to have a proper conversation with him in months. I'm sorry if ive contriubted to Melissa's feeling shit and that I'm not really nice enough to her even though anything shes ever done for me was for my own good. I'm sorry to Nikki for taking advantage of her friendship by making fun of her and not talking to her enough. I'm sorry to the rest of you for times in the last couple of years (or months, depending on how long youve known me) were ive ignored you or treated you badly etc. I just want all of you to be happy. *thumbs up*
Anyway. Laters.
Lexi