HARTLEPOOL MASSSSSEEEEEEEVE.
Alright all me bitches you might be missing me in stitches an’ yeah it feels like drownin’ in the ditches but you ain’t heard the worst of it yet- which is;
Hartlepool has no heart, Hartlepool has no soul, cause they ain’t got no winnin’ team an’ they always score own goals BUT The pints are a pound (though they’re probably watered down) and the people here are sound thought they do live underground.
Yeah. That’s right. Freestylin’ right there. They call me MC Twinkscallion.
Well no they don’t but maybe they ought to.
Hey hey. You Miss Me? You better.
Am discoverin’ why everyone in the north seems to move down to London, bloody ‘ell it’s a bit dull round here, init? There’s a BEACH though, that’s where we just come from, playin’ on the beach! We went in the sea, fuck, well cold! We got chips as well, the chips are aces here. An’ the ice cream. An STITCHES MUMS COOKING. I swear to god, if it weren’t now considered cliché to make love to a pie I would have nicked that one last night an’ be over the moors wiv it.
I dunno though if there is moors and it aint just fields, but there’s lots. What qualifies a moor? How much grass makes it a moor? Is that like ‘How much string does it take to get to the moon?’ maybe. Haha.
All this sea air has sent us city boys a bit loopy I think, we’re acting (more) like kids, it’s a bit mental like. I think its cause of us not getting much sleep then bein’ quiet quiet in the hospital and then told to run around like mad after tea till it’s bed time so there’s less people in the house. We’re both kippin’ on a sofa. Well, one of us is meant to go on the floor but LIKE that’s happenin’. Not even bein’ mushy or nowt just neither of us will back down an’ take the floor hahaha.
Bein’ mushy is a bit of a no no just now anyway :-/ Got totally used to all you guys knowin’ an’ that an’ it’s well weird, like, talkin’ to Stitches mum and sisters about my type of girlfriends an’ not bein’ able to go “well, tall… northern… dark hair… small eyes… grumpy… called Aidan… you know, that sort of girl.”
An’ his brothers… Ah haha.
I reckon a few of them might thump me one if I’m honest. Its all VERY CATHOLIC around here.
BABIES! Babies everywhere, just THERE. It’s such a busy house. Only after tea when we come down into the main town is it just us. An’ then it aint cause we got to go to the pub with the MENFOLK an’ like, Jonah keeps goin’ “Y’alright, kid, need a box?” cause I’m all short an’ that? But like, while I would usually be like BOTHERED at least I don’t get chased by villagers wiv burnin’ torches and pitch forks on a regular basis… I CAN’T wiv him cause he’s like Stitches oldest brother an’ the man of the house an’… an’ he makes me go all dead shy an’ stupid. Like a little kid. He makes me feel like I shouldn’t be here an’ like I understand WHY cause the house is to fuckin’ full and I’m not family but… But I gotta be here for my stitches yeah?
Anyway. Internet costs like a pound a minute an’ I best read what other people have been up to, but LOVE YOU an’ that!
P.G x x x x