HI
Just got back from Stitches mam's where we been asked a million questions for a few days as Stitch's sisters were all down for a bit an' wouldn't let us go home (plus, got our laundry done so POINTS TO US) an' I got my BABIES back an' I hope everyone got their postcards an' I got you all brilliant tacky prezzies BUT I AM SKIPPING AHEAD AGAIN.
OH MY GOD I'M SO RELAXED I'M DEVOLVING.
Spain was so awesome, so so awesome, I can't even begin- Barcelona is now number three favourite place in the world, AND THE APARTMENT OH MY LORD even though there was like sixty jokes about the kitchen being lavender but WEVES you all shut up when he said he wouldn't do a roast on Sunday didn't you? And the beaches, an' SONAR, FUCK ME. I've never danced so much in my entire life, an' I got loads of beads from girls an' it wasn't even mardi gras an' I didn't EVEN have to get my tits out, an' we found neon orange shots an' they dyed our mouths an' Dajve was doing after parties so the only time we got any sleep was when we were at the beach so I got a TAN an' it's a bit weird an' nothing compared to Oooh anyone else's in the world but STILL. An' I'm covered in freckles but so is Stitch, just like when he was a kid an' he's so cute I could die an' I learned ta SWIM a bit, a lot bit I think for the time an' stuff an' I'm still no goin' anywhere near the deep end but YES.
So a lot of the time was just the pool an' the beach but me an' Stitch went exploring a bit more than that cause I'm a pest an' wanted ta see EVERYTHING so I'll tell yous about that.
First day an' we went ta Park Güell which, for your information, is located on top of the mother fucking STEEPEST HILL of all fuckin' time, an' then up some steps in case you've not sweated enough yet. All cause muggins here wants ta see Gaudí's mosaic dragon WHAT AIN'T EVEN A DRAGON cause it's smaller than ME an' they charged me four fuckin' euros for a bottle of water, cheeky gits, buuuut once I got there an' acclimatized to the thinning oxygen it is well beautiful, them gardens, an' I saw a peacock.
We went to Camp Nou an' haha right you can do this little tour thing around it an' you got to see like one of these massage chairs right but it was behind this red rope thing because people steal chunks of leather from the CROTCH BIT. WHERE THEIR CROTCHES GO. How sick is that? An' you ain't allowed near the grass case you steal that either (ha, try explaining that ta customs) but it were ace, an' then we went up that mountain ta see where the Olympic stadiums were (fuck me that's a big swimming pool, by the way) an' that fucking tour guide pure ruined my day by telling me Montjuïc was where they executed like loads of folks and it was a big prison and stuff an' I just thought it was pretty...
We also went ta the Font Màgica fountain, what's like this big fountain what lights up different colours ta loads of classical music an' aaah my heart, it was so pretty, An' someone tried ta sell Stitch a robotic dog what spoiled the romance a little bit but it was so funny listening to him tell this guy off in Spanish that if he's approaching two guys watching a lit up water display holding hands he should guilt trip one of them inta buying one of them roses rather than show them a robot what does backflips I was laughing so hard... Also he's a bit sexy when he does Spanish, thank fuck for private school education is all I can say, makes reciting Neruda a lot more fun... ANYWAY it was such a nice night (but, ha, they played Barcelona by Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe an' me an Stitch sang it all up La Rambla an' Stitch did Montserrat's bit's an' I actually almost burst a lung laughin' Oh GOD I love my boy, can you tell much?
I almost bought a baby duck on La Rambla actually- they shouldn't be allowed ta sell baby ANYTHIN' on the street like that I wanted ta rescue them all but I wasn't allowed cause we don't have a farm in Spain or some other stupid reason.
We went to The La Sagrada Família church as well, what is so fucking Awesome in the original sense of the world that it made my heart skip a little bit, I prefer the Nativity façade, Stitch likes the Passion façade (bloody Catholics, he would.) an' he's promised when it's finished we can go back an' see it, so roll on 2026...
Wow so there's like a million different things as well but I've rambled on long enough now - it were a fuckin' brilliant holiday an' I love my friends THE END.
OH MY GOD I'M SO RELAXED I'M DEVOLVING.
Spain was so awesome, so so awesome, I can't even begin- Barcelona is now number three favourite place in the world, AND THE APARTMENT OH MY LORD even though there was like sixty jokes about the kitchen being lavender but WEVES you all shut up when he said he wouldn't do a roast on Sunday didn't you? And the beaches, an' SONAR, FUCK ME. I've never danced so much in my entire life, an' I got loads of beads from girls an' it wasn't even mardi gras an' I didn't EVEN have to get my tits out, an' we found neon orange shots an' they dyed our mouths an' Dajve was doing after parties so the only time we got any sleep was when we were at the beach so I got a TAN an' it's a bit weird an' nothing compared to Oooh anyone else's in the world but STILL. An' I'm covered in freckles but so is Stitch, just like when he was a kid an' he's so cute I could die an' I learned ta SWIM a bit, a lot bit I think for the time an' stuff an' I'm still no goin' anywhere near the deep end but YES.
So a lot of the time was just the pool an' the beach but me an' Stitch went exploring a bit more than that cause I'm a pest an' wanted ta see EVERYTHING so I'll tell yous about that.
First day an' we went ta Park Güell which, for your information, is located on top of the mother fucking STEEPEST HILL of all fuckin' time, an' then up some steps in case you've not sweated enough yet. All cause muggins here wants ta see Gaudí's mosaic dragon WHAT AIN'T EVEN A DRAGON cause it's smaller than ME an' they charged me four fuckin' euros for a bottle of water, cheeky gits, buuuut once I got there an' acclimatized to the thinning oxygen it is well beautiful, them gardens, an' I saw a peacock.
We went to Camp Nou an' haha right you can do this little tour thing around it an' you got to see like one of these massage chairs right but it was behind this red rope thing because people steal chunks of leather from the CROTCH BIT. WHERE THEIR CROTCHES GO. How sick is that? An' you ain't allowed near the grass case you steal that either (ha, try explaining that ta customs) but it were ace, an' then we went up that mountain ta see where the Olympic stadiums were (fuck me that's a big swimming pool, by the way) an' that fucking tour guide pure ruined my day by telling me Montjuïc was where they executed like loads of folks and it was a big prison and stuff an' I just thought it was pretty...
We also went ta the Font Màgica fountain, what's like this big fountain what lights up different colours ta loads of classical music an' aaah my heart, it was so pretty, An' someone tried ta sell Stitch a robotic dog what spoiled the romance a little bit but it was so funny listening to him tell this guy off in Spanish that if he's approaching two guys watching a lit up water display holding hands he should guilt trip one of them inta buying one of them roses rather than show them a robot what does backflips I was laughing so hard... Also he's a bit sexy when he does Spanish, thank fuck for private school education is all I can say, makes reciting Neruda a lot more fun... ANYWAY it was such a nice night (but, ha, they played Barcelona by Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe an' me an Stitch sang it all up La Rambla an' Stitch did Montserrat's bit's an' I actually almost burst a lung laughin' Oh GOD I love my boy, can you tell much?
I almost bought a baby duck on La Rambla actually- they shouldn't be allowed ta sell baby ANYTHIN' on the street like that I wanted ta rescue them all but I wasn't allowed cause we don't have a farm in Spain or some other stupid reason.
We went to The La Sagrada Família church as well, what is so fucking Awesome in the original sense of the world that it made my heart skip a little bit, I prefer the Nativity façade, Stitch likes the Passion façade (bloody Catholics, he would.) an' he's promised when it's finished we can go back an' see it, so roll on 2026...
Wow so there's like a million different things as well but I've rambled on long enough now - it were a fuckin' brilliant holiday an' I love my friends THE END.