You Know You Want It
Tharag's latest journal, that is. ;)
I'll throw it behind the cut. Before I do, however, here is a quick picture I snapped during the game. There was a big map and lots of combat. Good shit!
And with no futher ado...
Tharag is sad. That right, you heared Tharag. Tharag is sad. Tharag once had the god cup, gems and the love of a beautiful woman. Now Tharag have nothing. What? You want to hear Tharag’s story? Ok, you know last part about the tomb of the dead Charduni and the traps and the hunters coming in to get Tharag and his friends…
Well, it happened. But first, lots of other stuff happened. Hurm, also after.
First other stuff: Jugg’s brother. That right. A warrior with the symbol of Madriel climbed the sheer rock face and entered the tomb! Tharag was impressed. And happy. He misses Juggs. And Madriel? Tharag knows that knights of Madriel fight for the gods.
Second other stuff: Deadeye! The short elf business partner is not fat anymore. Also lost an eye while at priest-camp? Hmmm, why Father Dorsal have two eyes? Not sure. Probably stole one. Hur hur hur! Anyway, Deadeye climbed into the tomb too. Tharag looked forward to seeing him.
We see these two enter on the magic mirrors and the knight of Madriel is name Jular and he help with Tharag’s Big Ambush. We hide in the mirror room (where Tharag pick up Mia…later there is humping…Mia). When the hunters come in, the Madriel warrior flattens one of them (and some snakes) with a blast of air! It so hard, it crack the floor stones. Tharag hate to see a job half-done. Tharag makes earth shake like Kadum. Last hunter in this group is crushed by tons of rock, falling up. Hur!
Deadeye shows up and there is hugs. He lets Tharag stick finger in eye socket. But no time to catch up…more trapping! Soon all of the bad hunters are in the room. Also, all the separate snakes rejoin to make the serpent golem. It is missing an arm (go, Jular!) Big fight! Roland points to one hunter, who is dressed like a sissy and is wearing make-up. “That is him, Karny’s husband!”
Tharag has no time to kill him yet (Karny’s husband, not Roland). Because the baddest hunter is fighting Tharag. We fight and he begins to make magic. Tharag not think so. Hit him in the head with the Stick. His eyes cross and Tharag see birds flying around his head, like picture from story book. Hur! Sudden, these are not fake birds, they are real! Birds fly in, ravens! A marble of ravens! More than Tharag can count! Tharag is clever. Tharag take packet of birdseed (bought it in that crappy town with no hookers) and throws it all over the lead hunter. Hur! Tharag wait. Nothing happen. Ravens do not care. Huh.
Deadeye shoot an arrow in the head of the big hunter. Hur! Good to have Deadeye back, people die around him all the time. Tharag decide to go over and whomp the serpent golem. But the birds will not go away. Now there are more birds and then more. All of the birds are pecking Tharag. Tharag cannot see because of so many pecking birds! There is blood everywhere and Tharag thinks that it is not bird blood. Everything go black, like when Tharag dried dwarven ale in Durrover. Everything…go…black…
When Tharag wake up, Jular is blessing him, “Madriel heals you and bless you and read books and eat good.” says Jural. Hur! Is like having Juggs the short elf back. But taller. Tharag is sore. Being dead sucks. Tharag sees that there are still some birds in the room. Tharag spins the Big Stick around and the birds go “splat”. Stomp! Stomp! Tharag hate birds, now. Madriel is good.
By the time Tharag wake up, Roland and Deadeye have Karny’s Husband (who is named Sword Dagger) tied up and knocked out (this standard procedure around here). We go back to the room with the magical mirrors and song on the wall.
Tharag show Karny her husband, “What you want Tharag to do with this?”
Karny say, “Me not care.” (Women fickle)
Deadeye has a good idea. Tharag throws Mr. Sword Dagger up in the air and Deadeye practices on flying target. Falling target. Lucky, Deadeye is only 10 feet away and hits him good. Hur! A few more and no more competition for Karny.
Sudden, Karny scream, “No! What are you doing?!?!”
Also, “Stop!”
Tharag told you. Fickle.
Sigh. Jular heals Mr. Knife Sword and Sika says “Tharag, do not kill him.” Buggy Bear trusts Sika and Tharag listens…for now. Then Karny says that she loves her husband and not Tharag. Hur! Tharg loves when they play hard to get. Then Karny get to tell husband how she is a big dancer around these parts and how she wants the cyclops greensnake. He listen with great interest.
Then Karny try to blame it all on necklace. But all that this make happen is Deadeye and Mr. Glaive Gisarme rub each other a lot. Hur hur hur! Tharag could watch this all day.
In the end, it is true. Karny loves Mr. Blade Knife and not Tharag. Oh.
Then Mr. Knife Blade tells a long story. He fights for Calastia. He meets guys sleeping in the woods and the soldiers of Calastia decide to murder them (typical). But these men are hunters from Mormo. They kill all but Mr. Blade and make him their bitch. Hur! Then they come here.
Tharag tells him “Nice story but we kill for the gods.” Now Mr. Blade wants to be Tharag’s friend. He offer Tharag a drink. Tharag look him in the eye. “Tharag is stupid. Tharag is not crazy!” And Tharag knocks the wineskin from his hand onto floor. “Buggy, no! No drink!”
Father Doral is not obedient like Buggy. He tries some and he gets a crazy look. He drinks more. He is drinking all of it! A crazier look. Mr. Blade Knife is upset and grabs the empty wineskin back. This is not normal wine. Mr. Blade tells us that the hunters of Mormo got him hooked on this special wine. Tharag takes a closer look and smell.
Hurm. This is made from the rood of the goresap tree. Can find it in foothills of Kelders, Festering Fields and few other places. When mixed with fruit, makes addiction to fruit. When mixed with unholy titan stuff, makes addiction to Mormo! This is bad.
Tharag declare that Mr. Blade Blade and Father Dorsal must undergo a Cleanse. Eat special mushrooms are drink lots of water. We will keep them in the room with the fountain because there will be shit shooting out of their ears (Tharag made that part up, but everyone still agree to go along with it. Tharag love city folk!). While Mr. Knife Knife cleans out, Tharag will talk to him and learn more about the bad birds, hunters of Mormo…and maybe the military plans of Calastia (Tharag is not genius…but Tharag is still a Vigil).
Still, we have the Spell of Unmaking, and now we can break the god cup. Good riddance!
But now…Tharag is lonely. Lonely Tharag. Sigh.
I'll throw it behind the cut. Before I do, however, here is a quick picture I snapped during the game. There was a big map and lots of combat. Good shit!
And with no futher ado...
Tharag is sad. That right, you heared Tharag. Tharag is sad. Tharag once had the god cup, gems and the love of a beautiful woman. Now Tharag have nothing. What? You want to hear Tharag’s story? Ok, you know last part about the tomb of the dead Charduni and the traps and the hunters coming in to get Tharag and his friends…
Well, it happened. But first, lots of other stuff happened. Hurm, also after.
First other stuff: Jugg’s brother. That right. A warrior with the symbol of Madriel climbed the sheer rock face and entered the tomb! Tharag was impressed. And happy. He misses Juggs. And Madriel? Tharag knows that knights of Madriel fight for the gods.
Second other stuff: Deadeye! The short elf business partner is not fat anymore. Also lost an eye while at priest-camp? Hmmm, why Father Dorsal have two eyes? Not sure. Probably stole one. Hur hur hur! Anyway, Deadeye climbed into the tomb too. Tharag looked forward to seeing him.
We see these two enter on the magic mirrors and the knight of Madriel is name Jular and he help with Tharag’s Big Ambush. We hide in the mirror room (where Tharag pick up Mia…later there is humping…Mia). When the hunters come in, the Madriel warrior flattens one of them (and some snakes) with a blast of air! It so hard, it crack the floor stones. Tharag hate to see a job half-done. Tharag makes earth shake like Kadum. Last hunter in this group is crushed by tons of rock, falling up. Hur!
Deadeye shows up and there is hugs. He lets Tharag stick finger in eye socket. But no time to catch up…more trapping! Soon all of the bad hunters are in the room. Also, all the separate snakes rejoin to make the serpent golem. It is missing an arm (go, Jular!) Big fight! Roland points to one hunter, who is dressed like a sissy and is wearing make-up. “That is him, Karny’s husband!”
Tharag has no time to kill him yet (Karny’s husband, not Roland). Because the baddest hunter is fighting Tharag. We fight and he begins to make magic. Tharag not think so. Hit him in the head with the Stick. His eyes cross and Tharag see birds flying around his head, like picture from story book. Hur! Sudden, these are not fake birds, they are real! Birds fly in, ravens! A marble of ravens! More than Tharag can count! Tharag is clever. Tharag take packet of birdseed (bought it in that crappy town with no hookers) and throws it all over the lead hunter. Hur! Tharag wait. Nothing happen. Ravens do not care. Huh.
Deadeye shoot an arrow in the head of the big hunter. Hur! Good to have Deadeye back, people die around him all the time. Tharag decide to go over and whomp the serpent golem. But the birds will not go away. Now there are more birds and then more. All of the birds are pecking Tharag. Tharag cannot see because of so many pecking birds! There is blood everywhere and Tharag thinks that it is not bird blood. Everything go black, like when Tharag dried dwarven ale in Durrover. Everything…go…black…
When Tharag wake up, Jular is blessing him, “Madriel heals you and bless you and read books and eat good.” says Jural. Hur! Is like having Juggs the short elf back. But taller. Tharag is sore. Being dead sucks. Tharag sees that there are still some birds in the room. Tharag spins the Big Stick around and the birds go “splat”. Stomp! Stomp! Tharag hate birds, now. Madriel is good.
By the time Tharag wake up, Roland and Deadeye have Karny’s Husband (who is named Sword Dagger) tied up and knocked out (this standard procedure around here). We go back to the room with the magical mirrors and song on the wall.
Tharag show Karny her husband, “What you want Tharag to do with this?”
Karny say, “Me not care.” (Women fickle)
Deadeye has a good idea. Tharag throws Mr. Sword Dagger up in the air and Deadeye practices on flying target. Falling target. Lucky, Deadeye is only 10 feet away and hits him good. Hur! A few more and no more competition for Karny.
Sudden, Karny scream, “No! What are you doing?!?!”
Also, “Stop!”
Tharag told you. Fickle.
Sigh. Jular heals Mr. Knife Sword and Sika says “Tharag, do not kill him.” Buggy Bear trusts Sika and Tharag listens…for now. Then Karny says that she loves her husband and not Tharag. Hur! Tharg loves when they play hard to get. Then Karny get to tell husband how she is a big dancer around these parts and how she wants the cyclops greensnake. He listen with great interest.
Then Karny try to blame it all on necklace. But all that this make happen is Deadeye and Mr. Glaive Gisarme rub each other a lot. Hur hur hur! Tharag could watch this all day.
In the end, it is true. Karny loves Mr. Blade Knife and not Tharag. Oh.
Then Mr. Knife Blade tells a long story. He fights for Calastia. He meets guys sleeping in the woods and the soldiers of Calastia decide to murder them (typical). But these men are hunters from Mormo. They kill all but Mr. Blade and make him their bitch. Hur! Then they come here.
Tharag tells him “Nice story but we kill for the gods.” Now Mr. Blade wants to be Tharag’s friend. He offer Tharag a drink. Tharag look him in the eye. “Tharag is stupid. Tharag is not crazy!” And Tharag knocks the wineskin from his hand onto floor. “Buggy, no! No drink!”
Father Doral is not obedient like Buggy. He tries some and he gets a crazy look. He drinks more. He is drinking all of it! A crazier look. Mr. Blade Knife is upset and grabs the empty wineskin back. This is not normal wine. Mr. Blade tells us that the hunters of Mormo got him hooked on this special wine. Tharag takes a closer look and smell.
Hurm. This is made from the rood of the goresap tree. Can find it in foothills of Kelders, Festering Fields and few other places. When mixed with fruit, makes addiction to fruit. When mixed with unholy titan stuff, makes addiction to Mormo! This is bad.
Tharag declare that Mr. Blade Blade and Father Dorsal must undergo a Cleanse. Eat special mushrooms are drink lots of water. We will keep them in the room with the fountain because there will be shit shooting out of their ears (Tharag made that part up, but everyone still agree to go along with it. Tharag love city folk!). While Mr. Knife Knife cleans out, Tharag will talk to him and learn more about the bad birds, hunters of Mormo…and maybe the military plans of Calastia (Tharag is not genius…but Tharag is still a Vigil).
Still, we have the Spell of Unmaking, and now we can break the god cup. Good riddance!
But now…Tharag is lonely. Lonely Tharag. Sigh.