Gooey Brownies That Have A Clever Title, Sure, Why Not.
Now, there are three subspecies of brownies: Fudgy, Chewy, and Cake-y. How you make each of these brownies changes only in the ratio of flour-to-fat, with the fudgier, gooier brownies chilling more on the lipid end of the scale, while cake-y brownies are all up in that gluten's business. The actual methodology should not change, in that underbaking brownies to make them gooier is nonsense and I scoff at that noise. Scoff! The answer to fudgier brownies does not lie in poor heating conditions, but rather, in the addition of more butter.
This recipe is for the first version, it is a fudgey, gooey masterpiece of a chocolately rich brownie of rich, sweet, mind-blowingness and no I will not say decadent because I am against the dessert industry' constant abuse of said adjective. They're snuggely brownies. They are brownies that want to spoon your tongue as you eat them. They are brownies that will embarrass you in public as they cling to your teeth like the over-affectionate, needy bastards they are. These brownies will make milk your homeboy. The memory of these brownies will crawl into your brain like a Yeerk and sit there for the rest of time quietly reminding you that they exist and you could be making them right now if you wanted to.
Assuming, of course, fudgy brownies are how you roll. If not. Uh. LOOK A ZEPPELIN.
3/4 cup (6 oz) unsalted butter
4 oz baking chocolate (I like bittersweet because when things are too sweet I start distrusting them and assume their plotting something behind my back. You can use milk, or semi-sweet, or dark, or whatever. You know your chocolate preferences better than I do. I assume.)
2 cups (16 oz) white sugar
4 large eggs (There are no chemical leaveners in brownies. The only thing giving you any lift are the eggs. ALL THE EGGS. Do not skimp on the eggs. I will see you. I will know.)
1 cup (8 oz) flour
1 teaspoon (.16 oz) vanilla
12 oz (the entire goddamn bag) of chocolate chips (again, whatever rocks your boat. I like milk chocolate here to balance out the bittersweet of the brownies. It's all fine. Dance in the rain if it makes you happy.)
14 oz dulce de leche (just get a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and we'll talk about this. Dulce de leche in America is a ridiculous mark up, for real.)
You can also toss 1 Tablespoon of espresso powder in there if you want.
Alright, first of all, to make dulce de leche (which, if you don't know, is this sort of carmel-like substance that is awesome and delicious and I tend to eat with a spoon) you take a pot, fill it with water, put the can of sweetened condensed milk in there (and I do just mean the can, don't even open it. Just put it in there.) and boil it for like, four or five hours. That's all. Just drop it in there and let it go. You'll need to come back and add water once in awhile, for the most part I'll just let that go while I do something else. Play minecraft. This is not as good as actual dulce de leche you could get in Argentina (and other places, but I've only had it from there), but one has to make do when one is trapped in the Midwest and people stare at you awkwardly when you want things from other countries that aren't Canada. Bless.
Or you can use This recipe if you want to. But if you are a brownie-maker-on-the-somewhat-go then rock whatever hat makes you feel prettiest.
You know it's ready when you open it up and it's all golden brown and caramelized and thick and rich and goooood. Eat some of that with a spoon when it cools off. Go on. Do it. Make that every week and put it on your ice cream. Make cakes with it. Put it in jars and horde it like your a dragon and this is your treasure that you must hoard from the hordes. Of gourds, who board the fjords, which is entirely untoward. (Oh Lord.)
-Preheat oven to 350 degrees F, or whatever that is C. YOU DO MATH. I REALIZE YOUR MEASUREMENT SYSTEM MAKES MORE SENSE. SHUT UP. ::sobs::
-Melt the baking chocolate (not chocolate chips. NOOOO.) and butter in a bowl and stir until combined and smooth like chocolate Refer back to the Chocolate melting tutorial for how to get that done.
-Let that cool for a bit. Not long. Don't let it solidify again. Just put it in the corner until it's ready to join the class and not throw paint everywhere. If it refuses to cool off, call its parents about its behavioral problems and then put it in the fridge for a tick. Or just that last part. You weirdo.
-Add in the sugar and vanilla and beat until fluffy or combined or you want to eat the entire bowl right there. I make brownies by hand because it's not that hard and cleaning the mixer is hard, so about 2-3 minutes of "I WILL DEFEAT YOU BATTER. YOU WILL BE FLUFFY AND WONDROUS. I SHALL BE THE QUEEN OF THE BAKE SALE. WHAHAHAHAHA."
-Add the eggs one at a time, beat until they have sunk into the loving folds of the batter, never to be hurt my your hateful actions again.
-Add the flour (and if you're going to, espresso powder) and mix JUST UNTIL COMBINED. JUST UNTIL COMBINED. You know what makes terrible brownies? OVER MIXED BATTER. AND NOT ENOUGH BUTTER. You want gooey brownies. You don't want tough, hardened, mutinous brownies. You can't win over the hearts and minds of your neighborhood with methodology like that. If you wish to control their minds you will be gentle with the wee brownies. You've got this. We made muffins. Everything is cool.
-Add the chocolate chips. Add more chocolate chips. Add an impossible amount of chocolate chips. If you want to you can also toss a cup of mini marshmallows in there. Or some pecans, but I am against surprise!nuts. They worry and disturb me. I like to be fully knowledgeable about all possible nut-contact I might engage in. Marshmallows, however, just add to the delicious gooey wonderland of the brownies.
-Butter a 9x13 baking pan, or a 10 cake pan, or whatever you have that you tend to cook brownies or coffecake or such in. Not cooking spray. Butter. :[
-Pour the batter in and spread it out evenly over the baking dish.
-Drop dollops of dulce de leche over the batter like you're the dulce de leche fairy. You could use caramels, but I'd stare at you from across the Internet like you had just punched my dog in the face, you hateful monster. All I try and do is make you happy. I just want you to be part of my snugly harem and you have caramels. Why? What did I do to deserve this. I original wrote "camels" both times I tried to write caramels. It was a special moment. Do not use camels.
-Bake 35-45 minutes or until the sides of the brownie start pulling away from the sides of the pan. You will not be able to stick a knife in the middle and come out clean. This is a filthy brownie. This brownie has been around the block. This brownie ~knows~ things. While underbaking brownies is silly, overbaking brownies is madness and should be avoided like someone threw a wrench at you. Unless someone actually threw a wrench at you. Avoid that more. If the options are letting the brownies cook longer and getting hit with a wrench, re-think your life choices.
-DEVOUR WITH YOUR MOUTH.
Note: For whatever reason (science. Science is the reason) these brownies are actually better the day after you bake them. Assuming they survive that long. They're delicious right out of the oven, but the next day it's like they've come to understand their life situation and are trying to be the best brownies they can be. For you. Also you should eat these with ice cream, because it's summer and ice cream is the best thing ever. Unless it's winter where you are. In which ice cream is still delicious.
This recipe is for the first version, it is a fudgey, gooey masterpiece of a chocolately rich brownie of rich, sweet, mind-blowingness and no I will not say decadent because I am against the dessert industry' constant abuse of said adjective. They're snuggely brownies. They are brownies that want to spoon your tongue as you eat them. They are brownies that will embarrass you in public as they cling to your teeth like the over-affectionate, needy bastards they are. These brownies will make milk your homeboy. The memory of these brownies will crawl into your brain like a Yeerk and sit there for the rest of time quietly reminding you that they exist and you could be making them right now if you wanted to.
Assuming, of course, fudgy brownies are how you roll. If not. Uh. LOOK A ZEPPELIN.
3/4 cup (6 oz) unsalted butter
4 oz baking chocolate (I like bittersweet because when things are too sweet I start distrusting them and assume their plotting something behind my back. You can use milk, or semi-sweet, or dark, or whatever. You know your chocolate preferences better than I do. I assume.)
2 cups (16 oz) white sugar
4 large eggs (There are no chemical leaveners in brownies. The only thing giving you any lift are the eggs. ALL THE EGGS. Do not skimp on the eggs. I will see you. I will know.)
1 cup (8 oz) flour
1 teaspoon (.16 oz) vanilla
12 oz (the entire goddamn bag) of chocolate chips (again, whatever rocks your boat. I like milk chocolate here to balance out the bittersweet of the brownies. It's all fine. Dance in the rain if it makes you happy.)
14 oz dulce de leche (just get a 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk and we'll talk about this. Dulce de leche in America is a ridiculous mark up, for real.)
You can also toss 1 Tablespoon of espresso powder in there if you want.
Alright, first of all, to make dulce de leche (which, if you don't know, is this sort of carmel-like substance that is awesome and delicious and I tend to eat with a spoon) you take a pot, fill it with water, put the can of sweetened condensed milk in there (and I do just mean the can, don't even open it. Just put it in there.) and boil it for like, four or five hours. That's all. Just drop it in there and let it go. You'll need to come back and add water once in awhile, for the most part I'll just let that go while I do something else. Play minecraft. This is not as good as actual dulce de leche you could get in Argentina (and other places, but I've only had it from there), but one has to make do when one is trapped in the Midwest and people stare at you awkwardly when you want things from other countries that aren't Canada. Bless.
Or you can use This recipe if you want to. But if you are a brownie-maker-on-the-somewhat-go then rock whatever hat makes you feel prettiest.
You know it's ready when you open it up and it's all golden brown and caramelized and thick and rich and goooood. Eat some of that with a spoon when it cools off. Go on. Do it. Make that every week and put it on your ice cream. Make cakes with it. Put it in jars and horde it like your a dragon and this is your treasure that you must hoard from the hordes. Of gourds, who board the fjords, which is entirely untoward. (Oh Lord.)
-Preheat oven to 350 degrees F, or whatever that is C. YOU DO MATH. I REALIZE YOUR MEASUREMENT SYSTEM MAKES MORE SENSE. SHUT UP. ::sobs::
-Melt the baking chocolate (not chocolate chips. NOOOO.) and butter in a bowl and stir until combined and smooth like chocolate Refer back to the Chocolate melting tutorial for how to get that done.
-Let that cool for a bit. Not long. Don't let it solidify again. Just put it in the corner until it's ready to join the class and not throw paint everywhere. If it refuses to cool off, call its parents about its behavioral problems and then put it in the fridge for a tick. Or just that last part. You weirdo.
-Add in the sugar and vanilla and beat until fluffy or combined or you want to eat the entire bowl right there. I make brownies by hand because it's not that hard and cleaning the mixer is hard, so about 2-3 minutes of "I WILL DEFEAT YOU BATTER. YOU WILL BE FLUFFY AND WONDROUS. I SHALL BE THE QUEEN OF THE BAKE SALE. WHAHAHAHAHA."
-Add the eggs one at a time, beat until they have sunk into the loving folds of the batter, never to be hurt my your hateful actions again.
-Add the flour (and if you're going to, espresso powder) and mix JUST UNTIL COMBINED. JUST UNTIL COMBINED. You know what makes terrible brownies? OVER MIXED BATTER. AND NOT ENOUGH BUTTER. You want gooey brownies. You don't want tough, hardened, mutinous brownies. You can't win over the hearts and minds of your neighborhood with methodology like that. If you wish to control their minds you will be gentle with the wee brownies. You've got this. We made muffins. Everything is cool.
-Add the chocolate chips. Add more chocolate chips. Add an impossible amount of chocolate chips. If you want to you can also toss a cup of mini marshmallows in there. Or some pecans, but I am against surprise!nuts. They worry and disturb me. I like to be fully knowledgeable about all possible nut-contact I might engage in. Marshmallows, however, just add to the delicious gooey wonderland of the brownies.
-Butter a 9x13 baking pan, or a 10 cake pan, or whatever you have that you tend to cook brownies or coffecake or such in. Not cooking spray. Butter. :[
-Pour the batter in and spread it out evenly over the baking dish.
-Drop dollops of dulce de leche over the batter like you're the dulce de leche fairy. You could use caramels, but I'd stare at you from across the Internet like you had just punched my dog in the face, you hateful monster. All I try and do is make you happy. I just want you to be part of my snugly harem and you have caramels. Why? What did I do to deserve this. I original wrote "camels" both times I tried to write caramels. It was a special moment. Do not use camels.
-Bake 35-45 minutes or until the sides of the brownie start pulling away from the sides of the pan. You will not be able to stick a knife in the middle and come out clean. This is a filthy brownie. This brownie has been around the block. This brownie ~knows~ things. While underbaking brownies is silly, overbaking brownies is madness and should be avoided like someone threw a wrench at you. Unless someone actually threw a wrench at you. Avoid that more. If the options are letting the brownies cook longer and getting hit with a wrench, re-think your life choices.
-DEVOUR WITH YOUR MOUTH.
Note: For whatever reason (science. Science is the reason) these brownies are actually better the day after you bake them. Assuming they survive that long. They're delicious right out of the oven, but the next day it's like they've come to understand their life situation and are trying to be the best brownies they can be. For you. Also you should eat these with ice cream, because it's summer and ice cream is the best thing ever. Unless it's winter where you are. In which ice cream is still delicious.