Here's a list of some things I hope
A LIST OF THINGS I HOPE
- I hope that in the wintertime, when it's really cold, that mice find a rabbit hibernating in its burrow, and snuggle themselves in the fur on the rabbit's tum tum, where they are kept warm and safe all winter. I love symbiotic relationships. If this ever really happens, this is my favorite one of all time, bar none.
- I hope that Dave Grohl gets made fun of all the time by friends and enemies alike, to his face, for all the awful shit he does now. I hope it really gets the best, the best, the best, the best of him when it happens, like I hope he is very sensitive about it.
- I hope that two of the Duggar family's children fall in love and have sex with each other. It would be extra great if both kids were of the same sex, but either way, I will take it.
- I hope that one day a flash mob breaks out, and there is a mass shooting resulting in the death and injury of the dancers. I know this sounds like a bit much, but I really hate flash mobs a lot. I can't really think of anything worse than seeing one in person. I love dancing, but mass choreography like that is fucking awful. Whatever, mass tear gassing of a flash mob would be groovy too.
- I hope that one day I see a ghost, and there is definitely no doubt in my mind that that is what it was. Ideally, the ghost would be of my old cat, Isobel. But I would be satisfied with a rando ghost too.
- I hope animals somehow have a sense of humor, even though they can't physically laugh. I hope they realize how funny they are and do it intentionally.
- I hope a tsunami comes and wipes out just Atlantic City, soooooo bad.
- I hope Bill Clinton sometimes sends Monica Lewinsky a dick pic just as a funny friendly joke. I also think they should add Bill Clinton to Mount Rushmore because he's the coolest and hottest president.
- I hope Roger and Joan on Mad Men have sex again before the series is over. I also hope someone punches Pete Campbell in the face again.
- I hope that I die before Mark does, and he goes on a church burning spree, because he told me once that I am his "gateway to a normal life" and if he didn't have me he would "just burn churches".