Dear Abby...

[mansansfear]

the advice column meme

Comments

[anonymous]

Catman,

I am attempting to choose a Christmas present for someone. Do you have any gift ideas?

Sincerely,

Santa

[anonymous]

Thomas,

Is there anything that could be made in my workshop?

- Santa

PS: Expect numerous designer eyepatches in your stocking.

UH WHOOPS awkward NOBODY SAW NOTHING

[anonymous]

Thomas,

Very well. I will choose an appropriate gift.

Santa

PS: Throwing knives are acceptable.

UH OF COURSE HE LOVES CHRISTMAS WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[anonymous]

Thomas,

You deserve it. You haven't been very naughty this year, have you?

Santa

[anonymous]

Dear Catman,

I feel like I am lacking a little bit in the intimidation department. Would filing my teeth to resemble lion fangs help me any?

Thanks for the help,
possible future saber tooth cat

[anonymous]

Dear Thomas,

I thought you of all people would understand my dilemma. Isn't that what you did in order to survive with lions?

Kinda confused,
possible future saber tooth cat

[anonymous]

Dear Thomas,

You give the least useful advice ever. How did you even get this job?

Signed,
Getting Annoyed Now

[anonymous]

Dear Thomas,

How can I learn to discern friendly overtures from people wanting to knife me in the back?

-Not Really Paranoid

[anonymous]

Not Really Paranoid,

Did he say he wanted to knife you in the back? I'm pretty sure he didn't say that.

Thomas.