Oh god you guys this website.
THIS WEBSITE. Seriously. This woman records her husband's chatterings while he's asleep and it is hilarious.
Not only are there amazing insults such as these:
"You're such a rectal intrusion. Unwelcome and painful."
"Scientists in the future will completely struggle to work out how you were ever classified as an intelligent life form."
“Your silence says a lot. Mainly, you haven’t got the intellect to say something mildly witty. Or intelligent. Or anything of substance. You are, by definition, a fuck-up.”
"You've got a nice face. But your personality is one huge cock block."
But! some of them are pretty much tailor-made for C&C. Take these:
"I need: A mask, nun-chucks, rubber suit, shitloads of talc. Got list, will shop. It's a superhero shopping list, shithead."
And this: "Back off Robin. Batman is my bitch now. You're just a bitch's bitch, bitch."
And this: "If I'm gonna be in charge, I need a cape. You can't do the job without a cape. Take me to the cape tailor."
SO. As a not-meme but still something funny, why don't you post your favorites? :P