NCIS Fic: You're My Shannon [1/1] Gibbs/Abby, FR-18

[gosgirl1]

Author: Gosgirl
Rating: M
Pairing: Abby/Gibbs
Category: Romance
Spoilers: Devil's Triangle, Season 8
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. NCIS and its characters are the property of DPB and CBS.
Summary: Abby deals with the ramifications of Diane's visit. Episode tag for Devil's Triangle.
A/N: Written for the prompt 'critical' on the Gabby shipper forum. Established Gabby. Thanks to Gibbsredhoodie and Bamacrush for head slapping me into shape for this one.

And the damn LJ cut won't work... again!... so apologies for this being long on the page.





"The only woman you'll ever love is Shannon."

Diane's words froze Abby as she turned away from the basement door.

She'd finally driven home from the Navy Yard more than ready for the day to end. Abby hated how unsettled the case and Diane's presence at the Navy Yard had made Gibbs, and couldn't help worrying about the effect it was having on Fornell too.

Seeing both men thrown so off balance by their joint ex-wife had brought out all of Abby's protective instincts.

So spying an unfamiliar car parked outside Gibbs' house, Abby guessed that Diane hadn't yet finished toying with Gibbs. Not particularly relishing bumping into his ex in what Abby now considered to be her own home, she'd parked her hearse further down the street.

Not that she was frightened of Diane. More likely she'd have to suppress an overwhelming urge to back her against the nearest wall and warn Diane to keep away from her man and stop trying to re-open old wounds.

After all, Diane had left Gibbs, not the other way round. So in Abby's eyes, that didn't give his ex-wife the right to come across all self-righteous every time she waltzed back into Gibbs' life, however worried Diane might have been about her current husband, Victor. Fortunately, Abby had not been home the previous night when Diane had paid her first visit and Gibbs was still as tight lipped about what had happened as Fornell.

Tonight, feeling slightly ridiculous for sneaking into the house... their house... Abby nevertheless lingered in the hallway to try to work out where Diane was, though she could pretty much guess.

No doubt Gibbs would have headed straight for his basement on arriving home. He'd need to... and that's where Diane had presumably cornered him.

Hearing the murmur of voices, Abby lurked in the basement doorway. She wanted to make sure that Diane wasn't wielding a golf club again as well as angry words... although luckily there was no boat down there to damage... just him. Not hearing any shouting, Abby figured he was safe enough and decided to retreat upstairs to their bedroom before Diane reappeared.

Abby had been with Gibbs for almost eighteen months now, since Mexico had nearly sent all their lives to hell in a hand-cart, and they'd been living together for just over a year and Abby had never been happier. So while the team and Fornell knew they were a couple, Abby didn't want to test Diane's vindictiveness, nor hand her any more ammunition to throw at Gibbs.

She could only imagine Diane's reaction to the realization that Abby was now in her place, and had every intention of staying there.

So it was while Abby was turning away from the basement door that she'd heard Diane's comment and her first thought was, Oh great... just what I wanted to hear.

Her second reaction was a wave of anger at Diane for saying something like that to Gibbs, for using his precious first wife's name almost as an accusation. It also tapped into her own deep rooted worry that Diane was perhaps right.

Abby couldn't hear Gibbs' reply, if there was one, and decided to get upstairs before she heard anything else that would test her resolve to stay out of it, or something she didn't want to hear at all.

It wasn't long before Abby heard the front door open and close, hopefully now with Diane on the correct side of it. Abby debated going downstairs to see if Gibbs was okay but decided to leave him be. He'd need some time to himself even more now.

So Abby wasn't surprised that it was some hours later when Gibbs finally appeared in their bedroom doorway, leaning wearily against the doorframe, by which time she'd showered and gotten ready for bed in sweatpants and a tank top. Settling back against the piled up pillows, she'd tried to lose herself in a book, with only limited success. Her mind kept drifting off as she over-analyzed what she'd heard and how it might affect them.

What did surprise her as he came into view was that Gibbs was still mostly in his work clothes. He'd obviously been ambushed before he'd even had time to change.

He also looked sad, almost defeated... and tired. So very tired.

"Hey," Abby greeted him softly, feeling such a surge of love and protectiveness rise up that she had to restrain herself from flinging herself at him. Her stomach was fluttering with nerves about the reason behind his sadness and what it might bode for their relationship.

"Hey," Gibbs gave her a brief smile as he pushed off from the door and moved nearer the bed. "Early night?"

"Nope, I just thought it'd be easier to be up here... so I could avoid any confrontation with her." Abby patted the covers and Gibbs perched beside her on the edge of the bed, dropping his jacket on the chair and tiredly rubbing his hands over his face and head, mussing his hair.

"Not like you. Don't want ya to hide in your own home, Abbs… our home." He picked up her hand and laced their fingers together, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Well, I figured you wouldn't like blood over the hallway floor... it's a real bitch to get out, and right now, I think I'd have the overwhelming urge to push my fist through her face." She was rewarded with a slight twitch at the corners of his mouth and pushed the covers down to scoot closer, leaning her head on his shoulder, wrapping an arm round his back.

"She can have that effect on people," he told her, wryly. She could smell the bourbon on him and wondered how much he'd needed to chase away the demons tonight.

"Considering Diane came to you, wanted your help and Toby's, you'd think she'd have been a bit less critical of you both... and I'd have hoped she'd think twice about doing it in such a public fashion. I know I have a temper but she was like a steamroller through the building." Abby paused and then told him softly, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. "It wasn't easy to listen to her criticizing you both."

Even being aware of Diane's history with both men, Abby had been surprised by just how bitchy and vocal she'd been in front of everyone. Even allowing for how worried Diane must have been about Victor's whereabouts and safety, her behaviour had the effect of raising everyone's hackles rather than eliciting sympathy.

Gibbs shrugged, leaning his cheek against her hair before turning to bury his face in it, inhaling its scent. "It's how she gets when she's scared or angry."

She ran her hand soothingly up and down his back, feeling his arm come around her shoulders. "Yeah, I realize that, Gibbs, but it was hardly your fault... either of you. So there could have been a bit less vitriol and a bit more appreciation of what you were both trying to do."

"She's gone, Abbs... hopefully for a long time."

He pulled her closer and Abby found herself almost hauled onto his lap. Wrapping both arms round her tightly, Gibbs pressed his face into her neck and she felt his warm breath as he brushed soft kisses to the bare skin above her tank top.

Abby didn't speak, sensing his need for silent contact, feeling the tension in his shoulders and how it virtually vibrated throughout his body. She slid her arms round his neck, stroking her fingers gently through his hair, nuzzling against his face and pressing light kisses over the skin she could reach.

She was feeling in need of their connection herself... to hang onto him and not let go.

Since she'd heard Diane's words, her mind had gone round in circles, worry bubbling through her... wondering if his ex was only voicing something Gibbs knew in his heart. And when she was being honest with herself, Abby too accepted that she could never replace Shannon. Even though Gibbs had told her he loved her and he seemed happy enough with her, there was still a small part of Abby which doubted it... doubted she deserved his love.

After a few minutes of sitting quietly curled around him, Abby felt the tension gradually begin to leave his muscles and his tight grip on her slackened, his hands beginning to roam over her back slowly as if to soothe both of them.

"You hungry?" she asked, softly. "I can heat up some soup if you like? Help soak up the bourbon."

"Hmm?" Gibbs drew his head back and met her gaze, cupping her face in his hand, his thumb stroking gently over her cheek. "That'd be good, thanks, Abbs."

Her breath hitched at the intense look in his eyes. Not sure how to read it and not wanting to let her anxiety show too much, Abby framed his face in her hands and pressed a soft lingering kiss to his mouth before slipping off his lap and heading downstairs.

By the time Abby returned with soup and crackers for them both, Gibbs had showered and changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt, and was now sitting propped against the headboard, head back and eyes closed. His face looked drawn, the lines around his mouth and eyes more obvious than usual.

As the bed dipped when she settled next to him on her side of the bed, Gibbs opened his eyes and ghosted her a weary smile as he took the bowl she handed to him. They ate their food in silence, Abby sensing he still needed quiet. When they'd finished, by unspoken agreement, they scooted down the bed to pull the covers partially up over them, but left the bedside lamp on.

Abby settled on her side and rested her hand on his chest, and he covered it with his own. She was near enough to try to convey she was there if Gibbs needed her but not too close to crowd or pressure him.

He would talk to her in his own time... or not.

He would reach out to her for comfort when he was ready... or not.

She'd learned that in the time they'd been together... learned how best to handle him. And while she wanted Gibbs to turn to her, Abby knew it sometimes took a while before he did and there were times when he still shut her out. She was still learning how to cope with that, however much she understood it.

In the time they'd been together, Gibbs had opened up to her a lot and it warmed her heart that he did. In return, she'd tried not to push him, as difficult as that had been sometimes.

The greatest tragedy of their time together as a couple had come with Mike Frank's death.

She'd been both surprised and relieved when Gibbs had told her after Mike broke the news of his illness, and she could hardly have missed the fact that Gibbs was building his mentor's coffin in the basement.

And when Mike had been killed so suddenly, so brutally, Abby had been thankful that Gibbs had not shut her out, but had turned to her for comfort in his grief. And she'd needed Gibbs just as much, as they both mourned the loss of a man who meant so much.

Coming out of her thoughts and letting her eyes drift, Abby noticed the watch on the bedside table - one she hadn't seen before.

Gibbs saw the direction of her gaze. "Grandfather's pocket watch. The one thing Diane took that mattered."

Abby frowned slightly. "It's taken her a long time to give it back." Years... her cynical mind supplied but she held her tongue.

Gibbs nodded, squeezing her hand. "Yeah. She always made a point if she could."

Then suddenly Gibbs was rolling towards her, wrapping himself around her body to lie as close as he could, his arms gripping her firmly as if she were a lifebelt. Abby looped her arms round him as Gibbs rested her head on his chest, threading her fingers gently through his still damp hair and caressing down onto his shoulders and back in long tender strokes.

It was a while before Gibbs spoke but Abby waited him out as patiently as she could.

"Said she knew I didn't love her... Knew why I'd married her to try and get over Shannon. Said she didn't love Tobias..." Gibbs paused for longer this time and when he continued, the pain in his voice made her heart ache and her eyes sting with tears. "Is it my fault, Abbs? Because I didn't love her, she left and didn't..." He stopped and was a few seconds before he could go on. "Did I ruin Tobias' life as well?"

Abby paused to gather her thoughts before she could frame a reply, feeling the weight of his words pressing down on her.

It was typical of Gibbs after so many relationship failures that he would automatically think he was mostly the one at fault. Maybe she was being unfair to Diane, but Abby had to swallow down her anger that his ex had maybe tried to load yet more guilt on his shoulders.

Abby took a deep breath, weighing her words carefully. "She made her own choices, Gibbs... You're not responsible for what she did..." Abby paused, debating whether to go on and reveal her own opinion of his ex-wife, something she'd never done before. As she debated with herself, Gibbs nuzzled into her further, turning his face to press against her skin.

Plucking up her courage, she eventually went on, "And I can't forget that she left you, Gibbs... even if she's tried to make it everyone else's fault but her own since then. And I don't like what she's done to Toby either... but as he has a wonderful daughter, I doubt very much he'd want it any other way. So, no, you didn't ruin anyone's life."

Gibbs didn't immediately reply, merely tightened his arms round her, entangling their legs together so they were as close as possible. When he spoke again, Abby had to strain to hear his low voice.

"Said I was her Shannon."

Abby's initial reaction was a rush of sympathy and empathy for the other woman, oh god... followed swiftly by a surge of anger so strong against Diane that she couldn't stop her body tensing.

Why the hell did Diane have to twist the knife like that?

Diane had to know what effect using Shannon's name like would have on Gibbs. Was she trying to pile on yet more guilt? And how did Diane expect him to respond to a statement like that anyway?

Although Abby wasn't surprised if Diane did feel that way.

She could easily imagine Diane spending the years since she'd left Gibbs trying to find a replacement for him, and failing... in the same way that Gibbs had spent years searching for someone to ease his own hurt and loneliness, and all he'd found was more heartache.

But if Gibbs had meant so much to her, why had Diane left him? Or did Diane only realize what she'd lost when it was too late?

And Abby hated Diane using Shannon's name as a weapon... whatever her motive. She hated anything that would hurt her Gibbs.

Abby shook herself out of her thoughts, running her fingers through the damp short hair at the back of his neck, feeling him lean into her touch.

"I imagine you're a few women's Shannon, y'know," she told him gently. "You'd be a hard man to get over... impossible to forget or do anything else but always love... that's how I feel anyway."

You're my Shannon too, Gibbs.

Not that she was about to dump that piece of baggage on him. She'd tried over the past year to make Gibbs realize how much she loved him, how he was her whole world, but she'd never throw Shannon in his face the way Diane had done in order to prove a point.

Gibbs raised his head and met her eyes, and she felt warmth go through her at the unguarded emotion on his face. Abby ran her fingers tenderly across the strong lines of his face, along his jaw and onto his neck.

They gazed at one another for a long moment, their connection sizzling between them. That look in his eyes was one she saw often... waking next to him in the morning, as they made love, lying quietly together on the couch, or from yards away across a room. It never failed to send a spark of arousal and longing through her body.

"Don't tell ya I love ya enough, do I?" Gibbs cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her tenderly, sliding his hand to tangle in her hair and hold her head as he explored her mouth.

When the kiss ended, Abby smiled and nuzzled into his hand. "You tell me every day in lots of different ways how you feel about me... it's in everything you do, Gibbs. I don't need to hear the words all the time."

Gibbs must have seen something in her eyes when she fell silent for he sounded concerned as he asked, "Hey, what is it?"

Abby shook her head, eyes following the path of her fingers along his jawline. "It's nothing."

"Abbs..." he cupped her face, tilting her head so she couldn't avoid his gaze.

Abby never could hold out against those vivid blue eyes for long and shrugged, sighing before she replied, "When I came home earlier, I, er... I just caught some of your conversation... not that I was eavesdropping... Well, okay, I was eavesdropping but I just wanted to see if she was beating you and the basement up with a golf club, so I heard some of what she said..." Abby took a deep breath before she could go on and dropped her gaze, not sure she wanted to see his reaction. "So I heard her say the only woman you'll ever love is Shannon."

This time the hand under her chin was firm and didn't allow her to look away and the expression in his eyes was familiar... full of love and certainty. "She's wrong."

"Gibbs, you don't have to say anything... really. I don't need any promises." Her eyes slid away from his gaze again, staring at a spot on his chest. "I know Diane's right and I know that what we have is not the same as what you had with Shannon... I know it'll never be the same. You only get that once in a lifetime, but that's totally okay... really it is."

His deep voice interrupted her ramble. "Abby... look at me. Did you hear my answer to Diane?"

Abby held his gaze this time, shaking her head, though she wanted nothing more than to believe him. "No."

"That's coz I didn't answer. She's wrong. I do love ya, Abbs. Yeah, it's different but that doesn't mean I don't love ya." He leaned his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her face as his mouth sought hers, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Didn't think it could be as good again... didn't think I could be happy again, but I am... coz of you."

Abby blinked against sudden tears, overwhelmed by his words. They'd been honest with each other during their time together and Gibbs had told her he loved her, had shown her in so many ways but hearing it like this after Diane's words somehow settled her in a way Abby hadn't realized she needed until now.

Stroking her fingers through his hair, she kissed him slowly, trying to convey everything she felt through her touch, and Gibbs let her lead as if he could sense her need.

When the kiss ended, Abby whispered against his lips. "And you know you're everything to me, right? I've never loved anybody as much as I do you... You're it for me, Gibbs."

Gibbs smiled against her mouth before capturing her lips again in a demanding hungry kiss as he rolled on top of her, framing her head in his arms and tangling his fingers in her hair. As he took her mouth, one breathless kiss merged into another and she felt her desire intensify, her senses stirring at the familiar taste and feel of him.

Divesting themselves quickly of clothes that were annoyingly in the way, Abby slid her hands down his back to squeeze his ass and arch against him, his burgeoning erection pressing firmly against her thigh as she allowed her hands to roam over hard muscle and firm skin.

Gibbs hovered over her naked body on all fours as she lay spread out beneath him and let his eyes rake over her in a long look that felt like a caress. His worship of her body was leisurely and thorough, driving her half out of her mind as if he was savoring her.

His knowledge of her hot spots ensured he could reduce her to a trembling heap of hormones fairly quickly but this time, when Abby tried to hurry him along, Gibbs slowed the pace even further, pinning her arms above her head, soothing her with deep kisses and teasing touches.

Abby was hardly ever passive in bed but sometimes she knew Gibbs needed to take complete control, and this was obviously one of those times. She'd always found his dominance a complete turn on so never protested.

So eventually letting Gibbs set the pace, Abby gave herself over to his hands and mouth as they worked their magic on her skin... gave herself over to the love that flowed from him with every touch as if he was trying to reassure her, as if he was trying to show her how much he loved her with actions rather than struggling to find the right words... letting his body do his talking for him.

A rising tide of pleasure swept her away and the heated lust in his intense blue eyes made her head spin. All she could do was drag in ragged breaths, her every sense tuned to the intensity of what he was doing to her... becoming lost in how he was making her feel.

Being on the receiving end of that same predatory focus that Gibbs brought to other aspects of his life never failed to crank her chain. So by the time she guided him inside her and he sank home in one slow deep thrust, Abby was whimpering and close to begging. He held himself still, pulsing and throbbing inside as she adjusted to him and she slid her arms round his waist to pull his solid weight down over her.

Setting a familiar rhythm, they arched together, creating heat and friction just where they needed it. The room was filled with breathless moans and strangled gasps, soft murmurs of encouragement as they lost themselves in each other... the passion between them as intense as it had been from their very first night together.

Her entire world narrowed to the feel of his body moving against her... inside her... his large frame covering her, his achingly familiar scent surrounding her as he completely swamped her senses.

Her hands roamed across his broad shoulders, the strong muscles in his back and taut ass, pulling him deeper as she pressed urgent nipping kisses to his face, his neck... any part of him Abby could reach as she slowly came undone.

As her intense release finally ripped through her, Abby stifled a cry into his skin, biting down on his shoulder, fingers digging into his back. He soon followed her over the edge, arms tightening around her, grinding her into the mattress as his low growl of her name vibrated against her skin.

As she recovered, Abby clung to him as he buried his face in his neck, breath hot against her skin as she felt him still twitching inside her. They lay there still connected, heartbeats gradually slowing, as she trailed her fingers lightly over the expanse of his back... her body loose and sated.

"Believe me now?" He leaned his weight on his arms, raising his head to nuzzle her face affectionately, his voice rough even while his eyes twinkled. Gibbs rocked his hips gently and she gasped as aftershocks skittered through them both, pulling him in for a kiss, her nerve endings humming.

Abby sighed into his mouth, smiling against his lips as the kiss ended. "Well, that's a pretty persuasive argument you've got there, but I might need further... and regular... convincing, just to be sure."

He murmured against her mouth. "I can do that."

Abruptly serious, Abby pulled back to gaze at him, running her fingers lightly over his lips and whispered. "Yeah, I'm sure, Gibbs... I've never been surer of anything in my life, and I do believe you."

She was rewarded with a brief but full-on smile before Gibbs cupped her face, stroking her cheek, his gaze warm and concerned. "Don't let anything Diane says fester in here," he kissed her forehead. "She's good at using words as weapons."

Abby gave him a wry smile. "Yeah, I kinda got that, and I'll try, pinky promise... if you try too."

He shifted slightly, slipping from her gently before he replied. "Can't promise but I'll try."

Abby nodded... she could work with that.

She knew it was in his nature to brood, especially over something like this. It's what he'd been doing for the past few hours after all. And Abby didn't want to change him... she loved him for who he was, how he was. She just wanted Gibbs to let her in a little bit.

"Okay. And it's not that I've ever doubted you when you've told me how you feel, Gibbs, it's just..." she shrugged, biting her lip, struggling to find the right words and not hurt him. "Diane just made me doubt myself I guess, and I know we should be totally beyond that stage by now after being together all this time, but I guess I wasn't and hadn't really admitted it to myself till now... and I know she's right too..."

"Abby..." he said, his voice a soft warning as he shook his head.

She pressed a finger to his lips, smiling tenderly. "No, hear me out... please. I know you'll always love Shannon, how could you not? And I'm okay with that, really I am. It's fine that I'm sharing you with her."

She saw his eyes darken with emotion and he leaned in to rest his forehead against hers for a moment, his hand cupping her cheek before pulling back to gaze at her. Abby studied his expression, trying to read the myriad of emotions rushing through his eyes, her worry increasing when Gibbs didn't speak.

When she heard him swallow and shake his head slightly, she finally realized he was so moved he could barely speak. He leaned in to kiss her languidly, deeply until she was boneless beneath him, letting his actions speak for him again.

When they broke the kiss and Gibbs did manage to get the words out, his voice was rough with emotion. "How'd I deserve you?"

Abby nuzzled against his face, moved almost beyond words herself and sensed they needed to lower the emotional tone or she'd start blubbing any minute. "You got lucky," she whispered and heard his snort of amusement.

He brushed a soft kiss over her mouth, smiling against her lips. "Guess I did."

He rolled to the side, gathering her in his arms and Abby burrowed as close as she could, feeling the heat radiating from his body as she rested her head on his chest, listening to his even breathing and the calming thud of his heartbeat.

As much as she loved sex with him, it was this close intimacy afterwards that she relished, this feeling that there was no one else in the world but them… these times when he was all hers.

They lay quietly for a long while, both lost in their thoughts of the past few days and Abby felt increasingly drowsy, enjoying the feel of his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her back and shoulders, or threading through her hair.

His deep voice eventually broke the silence and she giggled at his question. "Was Carol really hittin' on Fornell?"

She brushed her fingers lightly along his arms as she nodded against his skin. "Totally. She wasn't messin' with him, I promise. She wouldn't do that to him and I wouldn't let her anyway, I'm too fond of Toby. She thinks he's hot."

"Hot?!"

She swatted his shoulder and raised her head to rest her chin on his chest, loving the teasing sparkle she could see back in his eyes. "Don't laugh, Gibbs. He is... well, not in the same reduce a girl to a quivering mass of hormones hot way that you are, but Toby's an attractive guy."

"He is?" Gibbs smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Abby giggled, nipping at his skin and making him jump. "He is, he's cute." When he snorted, she tickled his sides and he laughed and trapped her arms.

"Cute, huh?" he teased, his voice a low growl against her neck.

She laughed, squirming until he released her. "He is... He's kind, caring, great sense of humour... She just wanted to cheer the guy up yesterday. She'd heard that Diane was in the building and giving the pair of you hell so Carol was tryin' to make Toby feel better. She's totally serious... really."

Abby knew how protective Gibbs was of Fornell, despite all the teasing banter the two men exchanged. Throughout everything, they had each others' backs and despite bantering about their 'shared misery,' Abby suspected it had had more than a grain of truth in it over the years.

Gibbs examined her eyes for a moment before nodding. "Well, she's sassy and fun… he'd sure have his hands full." That quirky grin she loved broke out. "She reminds me of you."

"Well, that I take as a compliment, Gunny. And Carol hasn't had much luck with men over the years… she's been hurt a lot and Toby needs someone to look after him. He's been alone too long." She traced random patterns on his chest with her fingertips, looking up at him from under her lashes, attempting her best pout as she wheedled. "You could..."

Gibbs didn't let her finish, shaking his head in a laughing protest. "Oh no, I'm not playing matchmaker for Tobias. I'm not gettin' in the middle of that."

Abby chuckled, pressing a kiss to his chest. "Then I guess I'll just have to take Toby out for lunch and get them hooked up all by myself." She grinned when he rolled his eyes.

Pulling her close again until she was moulded to his front, Gibbs ran his hands over her back and was quiet for a while before he spoke again.

"I know one thing. Tobias isn't getting my hand-me-downs any more, is he?"

Abby heard the vulnerability in his voice and kissed him softly before murmuring against his mouth. "Nope. I'm not going anywhere... You're stuck with me, if that's okay?"

He didn't speak but the way his arms tightened around her and his mouth captured hers in a kiss that curled her toes was answer enough.

The end.