Traitor: The Morning After 3/10
Chapter 3 - The Morning After (…a breathing space)
Drifting awake naturally rather than being wrenched from sleep by nightmares or spending a restless night, as was the norm recently, Gibbs slowly became aware of a warm, soft weight half sprawled across his front, a head tucked into the crook of his neck and silky hair spread across his arms and chest. Breathing her in, he tightened his arms around Abby and began stroking his fingers gently up and down her spine, unable to resist the feel of her skin but reluctant to wake her.
Stirring slightly, she snuggled even closer and hummed appreciatively at the feel of his hands on her back.
"Hey," her voice was soft and husky as she nuzzled his chest.
"Hey yourself. Sleep well?"
"Mmmm," she started to pull away and he tightened his arms. "Thirsty… I'm just getting some water." Gibbs relaxed his hold and she reached for the bottle of water on the bedside table. "I drank too much last night," she gave him a brief smile.
"Me too." They shared long drinks, trying to rehydrate from both the booze and the night's activities.
He was concerned that she didn't seem to want to meet his eyes and her body language was hesitant and suddenly awkward. Fearful of what she was thinking and if she regretted sleeping with him, he pulled her back down when she'd finished and was comforted somewhat that she at least snuggled back onto his chest, but still kept her eyes averted. He didn't try to push her to talk, knowing that she would open up when she was ready. She was bound to fill any silence sooner rather than later.
Lying quietly together, long minutes passed before Abby finally found her voice to ask the question which had plagued the moments before she'd drifted off to sleep last night. She'd lain awake for some time after he'd fallen asleep, alternately savoring what had happened and fearful of how he'd feel when he woke up.
"So, now that we've sobered up, do you regret last night?" Abby lifted her head to rest her chin on his chest, still not meeting his eyes but looking everywhere else on his face.
Ah, so that's it, was his first relieved thought but before he could soothe her concerns, she carried on.
"I wouldn't be mad or anything if you'd had second thoughts after last night. I mean I realize you might regret what happened, or how fast it happened, and I'd understand if that's how you're feeling and you wanted to leave and think everything through, really I would."
"Abbs, I…" trying to break into the flow.
Interrupting him, aware that she was well into one of her usual babbles but unable to stop herself in her anxiety, her words came spilling out, "I mean I don't regret a thing."
She chanced a glance at his eyes then, seeing nothing but warmth and affection in his gaze. But she ploughed on, determined to get all her worries out in the open. "I never could regret anything with you and last night was fantastic. I mean I understand the stress you've been under and that you might regret starting..."
Cupping her cheeks in his large hands, he gently ran a thumb over her lower lip, effectively cut her off in mid flow.
"No regrets. And not going anywhere, Abbs, except to your shower. Care to join me?" that quirky grin she loved breaking out.
Her burgeoning smile expressed more than her delight about his shower idea and was tinged with relief that he wasn't about to leave. She leaned in for a soft kiss.
Gibbs knew she was often more nervous and less confident than the bright, cheerful persona she presented to the rest of the world would indicate. Her dramatic make-up, Goth clothes and 'accessories' were all a vital part of who she was, but they were also her armor against the world, and only her closest friends were allowed to see the more vulnerable side she normally kept hidden. That vulnerability was what usually brought out his fiercely protective nature and - hell, who was he kidding? - his possessiveness.
It was typical that she would take an off-the-cuff comment from him last night about sobering up and worry at it like a chewed nail, over-thinking it until she'd read more into it than he'd intended. He'd literally meant sober up so he could pay her more attention than his booze addled brain and exhausted body were capable of last night. Nothing more.
"Don't regret staying, Abbs," he tried to reassure her, pushing his hand along her neck and up to cup the back of her head, threading his fingers in her hair.
Now they'd taken this step to become lovers, he knew he didn't regret last night. In truth, he was tired of trying to keep his distance and pretending that what he felt for Abby was only friendship. They'd always danced around the mutual attraction they felt for years, sometimes straying closer to the line but always drawing back. The flirting they indulged in felt both dangerous and safe at the same time.
He suspected that the fear of losing a friendship that was vital to them both was one of the main reasons they'd both hesitated for so long. The age difference had never been an issue for Gibbs and he couldn't have cared less what anybody thought… Abby's opinion was the only one that mattered and it was no secret that she'd dated older guys in the past.
Rule 12… the sticking point.
He'd waged an internal battle with himself over this rule for years and what it meant to his relationship with Abby, alternating between convincing himself that he should back away and then leaning towards giving in to what he wanted. He wasn't technically her boss, he could argue, but that was just semantics in the end. He either wanted her enough to break his own rule or he didn't, and after last night there was no point in fooling himself any more.
The chemistry between them had always been positively electric. He knew she was attracted to him and cared about him, but Gibbs had always figuredthat someone as vibrant and beautiful as Abby couldn't really be satisfied with him and his dark side for long.
But the last few months had only reaffirmed what he already felt in his gut, that if they didn't even try, they'd end up regretting it for the rest of their lives and he'd had enough of living a life of 'what ifs'. After losing Shannon and Kelly, and then Kate and now Jenny, he of all people should know the meaning of Carpe Diem.
"Should have taken more care with you last night though. I was too rough. Did I hurt you, Abby?"
Her reassurance was immediate. "No, you didn't hurt me. I'm not some fragile doll, Jethro."
He brushed her hair back from her neck, looking unconvinced as he took in the marks he'd left on her neck and shoulders last night. "And you're not sorry 'bout last night?"
"The only thing I'm sorry about is I couldn't wait any longer," she reassured him, smiling. "I didn't want to rush, I wanted to savor every minute with you. But I just couldn't think straight… I just needed to feel you buried inside me."
Leaning in to kiss him again, she couldn't resist adding, a teasing smile on her face, "I happen to love rough, raw, fast sex as much as I love passionate, drawn out, teasing sex, and tender, slow love making that lasts for hours."
Barely brushing her lips over his, she breathed into his mouth, "I'll show you it all if you'll let me."
He responded with a kiss that rapidly turned needy and hungry until they were both breathless. Her voice was husky after he drew back, "Notice a theme emerging here? ... along the lines of I like sex, full stop."
Chuckling at her explanation, Gibbs promised, "Not gonna complain about that."
Head tilted to one side, eyes gleaming, she teased, "I certainly don't remember much complaining last night... plenty of moaning and groaning but no complaints."
Abby shrieked as Gibbs rolled on top of her and attacked her sides as he joined in her laughter. Struggling and squirming as her laughter made her breathless, she eventually grabbed his face in both hands and distracted him by kissing him lingeringly, finding herself unable to keep away from his mouth.
Gibbs tenderly ran his hand down her face, rolled back and gathered her in his arms where she settled willingly into his chest again, one leg entangled with his, rapidly coming to the conclusion that this could become one of her favorite positions.
"You know I'm crap at relationships, Abbs," he ventured into the comfortable silence.
"You'll have noticed that I'm not exactly a shining example of how to make a relationship work either, Jethro," she pointed out. "With a stalker in my resume and numerous other failed relationships in my wake, I'm certainly not a safe or easy option." Sounding rueful, she continued, "Heck, I couldn't even make it work with Tim. All I managed to do was hurt him, which he certainly didn't deserve."
Sometimes she caught McGee staring at her almost longingly and dreaded the day he might try to rekindle their relationship. Even before last night, she had known that she and McGee would always be better as just friends. No one over the years had come close to matching her feelings for Gibbs. They'd all been poor substitutes and she struggled to put some of that into words without revealing too much, for fear of scaring him off.
"They all suffered from one thing though... they weren't you," she admitted, almost shyly. She hesitated before continuing but she just had to ask him this. "This isn't a casual, one-time thing though, right? I mean I'm not sure I could cope if that's the way you wanted it."
"Nothing about this… us… is casual for me, Abbs." He didn't want to treat her like the procession of women he'd used over the years just to fill an empty bed; he had a feeling she could very well fill his empty heart if he gave her half a chance.
Gibbs smiled and ran his hand through her tousled locks, "Care to take a chance with a cranky, stubborn old Marine?"
Eyes shining, she countered, "Care to take a chance with a cranky, stubborn mad forensic scientist?"
His whispered, "Yeah" was heartfelt.
Giving him a wide smile, her next words made his heart race, "Me too. I just can't think beyond the fact that I want you."
"I want you too, Abbs... Need you in my life and my bed."
"Then you've got me," she promised, gently trailing patterns across his chest with her fingers. "If you're willing to take a risk with me, we could try and muddle through... together."
Not easily finding the words to tell her how right that sounded and how much he was prepared to try, he settled for showing her how he felt, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say. He pulled her up so she was lying fully on top of him, soft curves settling against him and his kiss was tender and full of longing. Pulling back, he grinned in satisfaction at her flushed cheeks, swollen lips and glazed eyes.
She felt overwhelmed that things could change so quickly between them and felt almost afraid that what she'd wanted for so long seemed suddenly within her grasp.
"I can't believe you're here," tracing the lines of his face gently.
"I'll try not to screw up, Abbs," turning his head to press a kiss into her palm.
Abby sought to lower the emotional tone before she turned into a gibbering wreck in his arms and let slip that she was in love with him, something she was sure would freak him out this early on in their relationship. She whispered, "Now, about that shower...it would be a shame to waste this," rolling her hips against his growing erection, causing his breathing to catch.
"At the very least, it'll tick off one of my fantasies from a very long list."
"How many fantasies are on this list of yours, Abbs?"
"I'd rather show you them all… one by one," teased Abby. "Do you have any idea how many times I've come already, moaning your name, merely at the thought of you." Her words caused him to groan, hands flexing on her hips to slip round to her ass, pulling her more firmly against him.
Reaching down between them to trail her fingers over his rapidly hardening length teasingly, she murmured, "Got any fantasies you want to share?"
Voice pitched low, his whisper in her ear made her shiver, "Oh yeah…"