wrimo
so insted of writing more this morning, i've been mostly re-reading it doing bit of profreeding to make it make sense. sure this is a against the spirit of 'going from one end to the other without stopping' but i figure i'll rebel. shit the anarchist point of view rocks themost in my mind and isn't an act of anarchy a rebellion against the current overall cultural norm? link up there.
the rage i felt as the week began sunk to a deep gut feeling of 'offness'. what the FUCK ever. yanno, if i can deal with it, i'll deal with it, but i can compartmentalize enough to put it off until such needs dealing with. all in it's own time and life is too sweet to live in the future. live in the now, it's the only moment you'll ever have.
i think i'm determining a level of comittment to the clowns. no take home assignments. my energy input into them is so fucking manic when i'm with them and so depressive when i'm not. not an issue. put energy into them when i'm with them. don't when i'm not. nuff said. that doesn't say much about personal skill building outside of the meetings, but my drive has always been fire then suspension, then clowns. that clowns are most needed by the cirkus has failed to change that.
now to make sure it doesn't take over my life like it had. that prolly the real core of the problem that clowns 2 nights a week was doing to me. my haed was spending too much time contemplating them and what to do with them [regardless of if they wanted me to act on the level that i saw fit]. When i returned from taking a week off when i was so absorbed in maying with my munk i saw them all juggling and practicing and clowning rather well. They do better without me there. likely, drop it to one meeting a week. tuedays are before munk get's off of work so that works with wrimo at this second. all is currently having the volume turned down on it as wrimo takes precedence. i fucking love this shit. it's training me to write, i mean, i know i'm writing, but i need to get experience with the things that i can see how to do.
as always allow yourself to suck before you can rule. afterall without the freedom of suckage you won't know how shit generally works or generally doesn't. this is a time of great exploration. i put forth something intersting on day 1, i've something a bit more concrete on the description on day 2's count, today i hope to cover at lest day 3 and 4, though it's the 5th, today's slated for tonite or tomorrow ... now that i've got a feel for scene setting
the rage i felt as the week began sunk to a deep gut feeling of 'offness'. what the FUCK ever. yanno, if i can deal with it, i'll deal with it, but i can compartmentalize enough to put it off until such needs dealing with. all in it's own time and life is too sweet to live in the future. live in the now, it's the only moment you'll ever have.
i think i'm determining a level of comittment to the clowns. no take home assignments. my energy input into them is so fucking manic when i'm with them and so depressive when i'm not. not an issue. put energy into them when i'm with them. don't when i'm not. nuff said. that doesn't say much about personal skill building outside of the meetings, but my drive has always been fire then suspension, then clowns. that clowns are most needed by the cirkus has failed to change that.
now to make sure it doesn't take over my life like it had. that prolly the real core of the problem that clowns 2 nights a week was doing to me. my haed was spending too much time contemplating them and what to do with them [regardless of if they wanted me to act on the level that i saw fit]. When i returned from taking a week off when i was so absorbed in maying with my munk i saw them all juggling and practicing and clowning rather well. They do better without me there. likely, drop it to one meeting a week. tuedays are before munk get's off of work so that works with wrimo at this second. all is currently having the volume turned down on it as wrimo takes precedence. i fucking love this shit. it's training me to write, i mean, i know i'm writing, but i need to get experience with the things that i can see how to do.
as always allow yourself to suck before you can rule. afterall without the freedom of suckage you won't know how shit generally works or generally doesn't. this is a time of great exploration. i put forth something intersting on day 1, i've something a bit more concrete on the description on day 2's count, today i hope to cover at lest day 3 and 4, though it's the 5th, today's slated for tonite or tomorrow ... now that i've got a feel for scene setting