So... somewhere between when I went to bed and when I woke up, I got this idea for a rather fluff-filled oneshot. Or at least fluff-y for me. Not *GASPSWOON* romanticish... but... I'm not the kind of person to go to if you're looking for that. ... Actually I think this is the first outright "romantic" fic I've actually ever written.
Wow.
As it is... it was a lot of fun to write. It's Reaction-based (roughly 2-3 months before Reaction starts), so it's post-game, so be warned of spoilers.
Name: Kick
Characters: LukexTear (and technically a third character)
Rating: K+
Notes: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF- Also Reaction-based, so if you haven't read at least Chapter 1, you'll probably be confused.
Summary: Sometimes, it's the things that are actually tangible that end up being more reassuring - or at least more comforting - than words and abstract ideas.
Alternate Summary: Luke frets, Tear reassures, and Luke and Dian have their first father-daughter bonding moment. Though only the former is aware of it.
-----------------------
Kick
Tear could tell it had been a long, trying day as soon as Luke slumped onto the bed, sighing unhappily and curling up with his back to her. It had been a foregone conclusion, really, what with him finally getting home as late as it was. What with their respective positions in Remir, it wasn’t uncommon for one or the other - or both - to finally get home at unholy hours, too exhausted to do much more than fall straight into bed and sleep through the rest of the night. The situation had been getting better over time, as more of the replicas were either found safe homes or moved successfully to Remir, but it never disappeared entirely: they were essentially helping to run a city somewhere between the size of Sheridan and Keterburg, never mind what responsibilities they had for Remir’s bases in other towns.
Luke didn’t say anything, probably guessing that she was asleep already. For a while Tear listened, watching the back of his head silently. She could tell though, by the tenseness in his shoulders and his breathing that he was still awake. Which meant that something was bothering him.
“Luke?” she asked quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder.
The redhead jumped and glanced back in surprise, before turning over to face her. “Sorry. Did I wake you up?”
She shook her head, “Don’t worry. I haven’t been able to get to sleep yet myself.” By the rough estimate of the doctors, she was somewhere between five and six months along, and the pregnancy had long since started to show. What with her body slowly changing shape, positions that had once been comfortable to sleep in suddenly weren’t. It was awkward, having to lie in a different position from what she’d been accustomed to for so long.
Luke frowned, “Are you okay?” Trust him to drop his own concerns the instant he felt there was some reason to be worried about her.
Smiling wryly, Tear replied amusedly, her hand coming up to rest on her abdomen. “It’s nothing. I’ve just been having trouble getting comfortable lately, that’s all.”
“Oh,” through the moonlight streaming through the window behind her, she could see him flush slightly, “Right.” She giggled, and he gave her a weak smile in return.
As the smile faded, though, his face fell, the corners of his mouth twitching into a faint frown.
“Luke, what’s wrong?” she asked him, deciding not to mince words. He glanced up at her for one moment, then sighed. By now, Luke knew that if he didn’t talk about what was bothering him, she would likely find out anyway, either through her job as his wife or as Head of Intelligence and Investigation. No matter how much he thought the information might worry her, hiding things was mostly pointless. Besides, he’d promised no more secrets, and the once he’d broken it was enough.
“They brought the news in a little while after you left. Apparently there’s been another small riot or something in Grand Chokmah. That new Malkuth representative, that Laseno guy seems to think there might be a lot of smaller stuff going on as well that we aren’t hearing about - things like gangs going around and bullying or attacking replicas. I’m probably going to have to go up there to investigate. I think that’s what they were angling for, in any case…” He put a hand to his head, kneading his forehead with his palm. “Dammit I thought this stuff was supposed to be getting better, not worse. We have no idea if this is just isolated or what, not to mention if he’s right then I’m going to have to figure out how to redistribute the forces to get more to Grand Chokmah.”
“Hmm…” she frowned. Repeated acts of violence like what Luke had described were troubling in any city, especially years later, though given that Grand Chokmah was the largest city in the world it might not be as bad as it appeared on the surface. It was something she’d want to look into at some point in the future, but she had a feeling there was more to the problem than this. “That is a problem, though public opinion changes fairly frequently. All the same, you’ve handled things like this before.”
Luke shifted uncomfortably, “I know, it’s just… it feels like everything’s happening now. Like a month after the Outer Lands were lowered, and we found out Master Van was still alive, and we had so many problems coming up at once but we didn’t even know where to start-“ he stopped himself, realizing he was probably getting worked up. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I just feel like whatever I do, I’m going to end up not able to do enough for everything else.”
It wasn’t until she noticed him absentmindedly staring down at the bulge beneath her dressing gown that everything clicked. She let out a faint sigh. “You’re still worried about that.” This would not have been the first time he'd shown apprehension about his impending fatherhood. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Luke’s face reddened and he buried his head further in his pillow. Yes, she’d found the root of the problem. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t consider the problems in Grand Chokmah a concern. She knew that it was indeed a very important one. But when something was bothering him, Luke’s frustrations and anxieties tended to pile up, until he was like he was now.
“I’ve told you before you’ll do fine,” she sighed at last, reaching forward and rubbing his upper arm, “It’s… not exactly something I’ve had much experience with either.” He made a face, her words not exactly being the most reassuring of sorts. “You’re worrying about things you can’t control again.”
“I know,” he said pulling his face out of the pillow, “I know that I’m probably blowing this whole thing out of proportion, okay?”
With a sigh of her own, Tear pushed herself - awkwardly - up into a sitting position, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. She had a feeling this might take a little while. “So then why are you still so bothered by it?”
Propping his head on one elbow, he stared up at her and muttered, “I just… I keep feeling like I’m going to screw up somehow. I don’t even know half of what I’m doing, and I know that that’s normal and I’m probably going to do fine - you’ve said it, Guy’s said it, Anise and Natalia would probably say it if I asked, even Jade and Asch… at least I think that’s what they were trying to say. But I mean… it’s one thing to know it in my head and another to actually believe it.”
Tear’s shoulders relaxed slightly as she recognized his words were making an odd, roundabout kind of sense, like (though she hated to think about that particular case) the time he didn’t want her to tell the others about his fonons separating. Still… “In any case,” she said finally, “I still don’t see what this has to do with your going to Grand Chokmah or not. There’s still a few month’s until the baby’s due.”
“Augh, I don’t even know anymore!” he groaned exasperatedly, sitting up and putting his head in his hands. “Maybe you’re right… Maybe I am worrying too much about this…”
“Of course I’m right.” Tear shook her head exasperatedly. When Luke got into moods like this, it was no surprise that he lost perspective. She just wished that he would stop doubting himself so much in matters like this - he handled his job in Remir just fine.
Frowning, Tear shifted a little uncomfortably. The headboard was not the softest or smoothest object in the world, but she was tired and sitting up straight made her feel more than a little unsteady these days. Suddenly, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Smiling faintly, she adjusted again, this time leaning against Luke as he carefully drew her closer, his one-armed embrace much more comfortable than the wooden headboard.
She felt Luke’s head lean against hers. “I am happy about this,” he said quietly, “Don’t forget that, okay?”
"Idiot…" she muttered. Of course she knew that. She could see it whenever they’d talked and made preparations for it, saw the sheepish but pleased embarrassment on his face as Guy had teased him… but it always seemed like the joy was tinged with worry and anxiety. Yes he was happy, but not completely. There was still that fear that he would make another mistake, that debilitating lack of self-confidence that he still struggled with at times, try as he might to hide it. Seven years later, and Luke still wore his heart on his sleeve, at least to her.
Even now… he was reassured, but not comforted or cheered. Tear hid a slight grimace, wondering if this was one of those things Luke would have to overcome on his own. She’d done her best time and again, and it only seemed to be a temporary solution.
And that was when she got an idea - or rather, was reminded of one, by the sudden, unexpected sensation from around her middle.
Now, she couldn’t help but smile. She’d been meaning to do this for a while, but it had always slipped her mind until now - and a better opportunity she couldn’t have asked for, to cheer him up.
“Luke, I want to show you something,” she said, sitting up a little straighter though still with Luke’s arm around her shoulders.
She felt him lift his head. “All right,” he said confusedly, “What is it?”
“Here.” Taking his other hand, she moved it until it was against the taut bulge that had been growing over the past few months, feeling him inhale sharply in surprise. Guiding his hand until she reached the appropriate spot, she held his hand against it, saying quietly, “It might take a little while.”
They sat silently, waiting, until…
She felt it, and judging by the way he stiffened in surprise, so had he. Nothing huge or exciting, but a small impact, like throwing a pebble against canvas. She glanced up at him, amused to see his eyes wide with surprise.
“What was that?” he asked.
She smiled, “The baby. It kicked.”
Surprise shifted to bewilderment. “They do that…?”
“They do it a lot, actually,” she said amusedly.
"Why?"
She shrugged, "Just moving around, I guess. I’ve only begun feeling the kicks in the past week or so. I meant to tell you sooner but…”
“Things were busy, I know.” he finished for her, though it was clear his attention was elsewhere. His hand was still in the same spot, and he was staring at it with wonder, and a hint of something else. They waited in silence until their patience was rewarded with another tiny impact. Luke shook his head, the smile on his face growing.
“It’s crazy…” he half-laughed “I mean… I knew that it was happening, that you were having a- our baby, but… now I can feel them in there… It seems different now… It's… more real.”
The look on his face made every moment worth its weight in gold. For the first time she could remember, there was no twinge of worry or doubt on his green eyes, just joy and wonder and excitement.
Then those eyes snapped onto her, and then after a moment, his head titled forward, both their eyes closing as they kissed softly. It was short and calm, and when they pulled apart he smiled gently.
“Thanks, Tear,” he said, “This is all… it’s incredible.” He didn't need to say the other, unspoken conclusion - yes, he felt a lot better about it all.
Smiling back, she simply said, “We should probably get some sleep.”
It wasn’t perfect. Luke would probably still worry and doubt himself in the future, and she would have to talk him out of it again. But for now, she thought as she curled up next to him, they were happy.
All three of them.
---------------------------------
I know it's just fluff and a oneshot but any feedback you can send, I'll love you for it. :D