BSC/Heroes Fic: Stacey Loves the Invisible Man (12/14)
Title: Stacey Loves the Invisible Man (12/14)
Author: nutmeg610 & toxic_corn
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: BSC/Heroes crossover
Disclaimer: Neither The Baby-sitter's Club books, nor Heroes belong to us. They belong to Scholastic Books, Ann M. Martin, and NBC.
Summary: Stacey McGill leads a pretty mundane life in NYC. She works as a temp after a failed attempt at a modeling career, but at least she lives with her best friend, Claudia Kishi. Still, that's not enough to make Stacey think there isn't something missing in her life. She's calmed down over the years, now not nearly as boy-crazy as she once was, but thinks perhaps it's time to find her own hero. She finds more than she expected when her path crosses that of the Invisible Man.
Author's Note: The next series in a long line of crackfic, my friends! Follows Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne, Wanna Get It On, Dawn?, and Kristy and the Doctor.
Round Up Post
I wish you guys could have come out here and posed for Claudia's exhibit. It was so much fun! She thinks she'll do another series, this time with only Jane Austen characters. Kristy's claimed Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy for her and the Doctor already, and I think Claude and I would make an awesome Colonel Brandon and Marianne. What about you guys?
~ snippet of an email from Stacey McGill to Dawn Schafer-Callis
Stacey smoothed her hands down the white gown she wore, admiring herself in the mirror as a smile spread across her face. She looked at herself from all angles, fiddled with her long sleeves and neckline, then stood back and nodded.
"Perfect." she whispered to herself, before pulling back the curtain of the dressing room and stepping out. She was pondering whether or not to add a tiara to her outfit when the curtain of the dressing room next to her slid open and Claude stepped out.
He was decked out in leather armor, with a cape and sword. Looking her over with an appreciative eye, he gave the sword an experimental swing. "Look, I'm from Gondor."
Just hearing that, plus the fact that he was in leather pants, caused Stacey to have to fan at her heated face. "You look so bad ass!" Looking down at herself and taking her skirts in her hands, she declared, "I'm the Lady Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan." Then she giggled and twirled for him.
His face softening as he watched her, Claude replied, "Good. Because I'm Faramir and I was looking for my Eowyn."
Stopping mid-twirl, Stacey beamed up at him, before he set his sword aside and picked her up, twirling her around. She squealed aloud, holding on tight as her husband laughed.
Claudia came around the corner then, with a floral patterned geisha gown slung over her arm and a wig in her hand. "Ooo! You two look awesome! This photography exhibit's gonna rule!"
Pressing a kiss to his petal's cheek, Claude answered, "Of course. Look how lovely she is."
"Thank you, my Ranger of Ithilien."
Claude grinned. "I'd better put you down so you can go kill the Witch-king."
"Damn straight." she said as he set her on her feet. "Can I borrow your sword?"
"Here." He picked it up and handed it to her. "Remember to take a hobbit for back-up."
"I best go find one." Standing up on tiptoe, she gently pecked him on the lips. "Wish me luck!"
"Good luck, petal."
She winked at him and took off down one of the aisles of the costume shop. Claudia had managed to get her boss to squeeze her into his art gallery's latest photography exhibit, which included characters from novels. Stacey had jumped at the chance to play Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, and after quite a bit of pleading, Claude had agreed to be her Faramir.
"Lemme take a good look at you." Claudia said to him, looking him over from all angles and nodding "You'd look good clean shaven but I'm not going to have the whole 'you'll be recognized if you're in the art show like that' argument again." She rolled her eyes. Part of the reason Claude initially hadn't wanted to participate was because plastering your face on an art gallery wall was not the best way to go about living under the radar. "But maybe you could get rid of the Shaggy look and make Faramir have a nice goatee?"
Claude narrowed his eyes at her but then caught sight of Stacey bending down and talking to little Frey Thomas, who she was getting to dress like a hobbit. He wasn't quite two yet, though being half Time Lord meant that he was already speaking in full, intelligent sentences. "I suppose a goatee would be do-able." Claude finally answered.
"Awesome!" Claudia exclaimed. "We're totally gonna have to do the photoshoot this weekend in Connecticut with the trees as a backdrop." She kept going on about how she was going to photograph them at Kristy's stepdad's mansion while Claude adjusted his gauntlets and nodded, not really listening. Kristy and the Doctor had arrived for a visit and Claudia had wasted no time in roping then into her project too.
Stacey came back then, carrying Frey in a hobbit costume against her hip with her sword in her other hand, and her arm linked with Steve the Pirate's, who was decked out in full pirate costume, complete with the hat, eyepatch, pistols, and sword. "Look guys! I found a hobbit and a pirate! That Witch-king's going down!"
Claude couldn't help himself and started laughing his ass off at the mental image of a pirate helping to fight the Witch-king.
Kristy came out of the dressing room next, dressed as Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, and immediately her eyes lit up when she saw Frey. "Eeee, look at you! My wee little hobbit!"
"Mummy, look! I'm Meriadoc Brandybuck!"
"Awwww, Merry!" Kristy rushed over to him and gave him an Eskimo kiss. "We have to find you a Pippin."
The Doctor threw open the curtain of his dressing room with a flourish, to reveal that he was wearing a garish white wig and a lacy shirt. He looked Kristy up and down before giving a sheepish smile. "Whoops, it seems I went with French aristocracy instead of British. Back in a tic." He tugged the curtain back closed as Kristy giggled into her hand. "Daddy's silly, isn't he, jellybean?"
"Indeed yes." Frey answered from his perch on Stacey's hip.
Claude came over and tickled Frey's tummy, smiling a bit, because it was hard to not like the little guy.
"EEEEEEE! Uncle Claude!" Frey cried out, squirming.
Stacey giggled as Frey flailed in her arms. "Claude's a tickling champion."
While all this was going on, Steve slid up beside Claudia and tipped his tri-cornered hat to her. "Arrrr..."
"I suppose I'll have to buy you this outfit for your birthday, won't I? 'Cause I don't want to see your sad little face when you have to bring the rental back."
His face lighting up, he replied, "You're a jewel, me dear Claudia!"
With a blush, she said, "I should try this costume on." Then she headed into a dressing room with Steve following at her heels.
"I should help." He closed the curtain behind them and a moment later the sound of giggling filled the air, followed by, "Hey, watch your sword, Cap'n!"
A growly voice answered, "That weren't me sword." The giggles increased tenfold, while Claude makes a face like he was going to be sick.
The Doctor came back out, now appropriately dressed as Mr. Darcy, with an arrogant look to match.
Kristy stared at him, melting a little inside when he fixed his gaze upon her. Raising an eyebrow he inquired, "Are you Miss Bennet?"
"I am." she said with a polite curtsey, adopting a British accent. "And you are Mr. Darcy, I presume?"
"I am." he answered with a snooty look, but then he turned his head and winked at Frey, who smiled back at him and watched their interaction with interest.
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you." Kristy replied with a sweet, polite smile.
"Mmm. I rather despise the country. I shan't be long here." He looked away to find something more interesting to hold his attention, playing the part perfectly.
"The country is quite different from what you must be used to, but it has its own charms." Kristy said, narrowing her eyes slightly, playing the part of gradually-getting-pissed-Lizzie.
Stacey exchanged a look with Frey before whispering something in his ear.
"Skip to the end!" Frey demanded with a whine.
Kristy started to giggle while the Doctor cleared his throat. "So yes, it was I who saved your sister's reputation by giving money to Wickham, blah blah blah, you know I love you, etc. may we kiss already?"
Stepping up to him and cupping his face, Kristy replied, "I love you too." Then she gave him a kiss while Frey squealed, delighted.
As they kissed, Claudia came out of her dressing room, calling behind her in a teasing voice, "Thanks for all the non-help Steve!" Facing forward, she took in the sight of Kristy and the Doctor. "Oh, wow! You guys look great!"
Breaking the kiss, Kristy gazed at The Doctor dreamily. "Doesn't he?" she asked, while he beamed back at her.
Just then, a store worker approached Stacey with a long piece of dark blue fabric slung over her arm. "I found that blue cloak you wanted."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, quickly setting Frey down. "My starry mantle! Thanks!" She took it and examined it closely. It wasn't quite book accurate, but it would have to do. In the book, Faramir gave Eowyn a blue cloak with silver stars sewn onto it that had belonged to his mother. Deciding it was only fitting for her Faramir to give it to her, she turned towards him. "Claude, will you put it on me?"
"Of course; that's what Ithilien Rangers are best at."
She handed it to him and turned around, grinning at the girls like a fool while he gently placed it across her shoulders, then kissed the back of her head.
Spinning to face him, she asked, "Do I look worthy of the Steward of Gondor?"
Eyes glittering, he replied, "You do."
Claudia sighed. She had no idea what half of the titles they addressed each other by meant, but Stacey would just wave it off and say "Book stuff," and they'd leave it at that. Clapping her hands, she said, "Okay, people. Now that we know our costumes fit, let's get outta here and grab some lunch. I need something ooey-gooey and deep fried."
Steve pursed his lips and shook his head at her eating habits, but she ignored him as she ushered the two lovey-dovey couples back towards the dressing rooms to get changed into their street clothes.
************************************
That Saturday found them all at Kristy's mom and stepdad's house, dressed in their costumes again as Claudia snapped pictures. She'd started with Steve out in the backyard, where he was portraying Captain Flint from Treasure Island, and now she'd moved onto taking photos of Kristy and the Doctor in the Brewers' formal dining room, setting it up so it looked like they were sitting for a portrait painter.
The only problem was that Frey kept trying to get into the picture to talk to his parents and it was ruining some shots.
The Doctor noted Claudia's exasperated look. "I'm afraid there are no hobbits in Regency England, Frey. Perhaps you could spend some time with Faramir and Eowyn until your Mum and I are finished with the photos?"
His face falling, Frey said, "I'm sorry, Daddy," before he picked up his plastic sword and slowly toddled out of the room. Kristy looked like she was about to bolt out of her chair after him, but the Doctor set his hand on her shoulder to stop her.
As Frey made his way into the hallway, Claude suddenly appeared in the doorway to the rec room. "Hey, there you are, Frey! We need your help in the battle of Pelennor Fields. Come on!"
"Ooooooh!" he exclaimed, trying to run as fast as his toddler legs would let him.
Claude moved aside to let him pass, then leaned back against the doorframe to watch, crossing his arms over his chest. Stacey, in her white gown, with a sword in her hand, smiled as Frey approached. "C'mon, Merry, we have to take on the Witch-king!" She pointed to Steve, who was wearing a dark blue sheet over his head and a cardboard Burger King crown. "Arr-- I mean, no mortal man can kill me!" He stepped forward and tripped over the sheet, falling to his knees. "Ow. Alright, that ruined the moment."
Frey put on a serious expression as he said, "Well, I'm a hobbit and Aunt Sta-- erm, Eowyn is a woman so we'll get youuuuu!!!" He waved his little plastic sword and clobbered Steve over the head with it.
"Ouch! Powerful swing, kid!" He took a slo mo swing with his own sword and gently whapped Stacey's arm.
"Ow, my shield arm!" Stacey exclaimed. "Take that you jerk!" She thrust her sword inbetween his arm and chest, and Steve let out an "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!" before he fell over, defeated.
Frey went over to his side and looked down curiously. "Are you all right, Uncle Steve?"
From under the sheet, Steve replied in his deep, pirate voice, "I be killed, young hobbit!" Then he switched to his normal voice. "But other than that, I'm cool."
Peeking under the sheet, Frey asked, "Do you want a biscuit?"
"Ooo, yeah! Even evil guys gotta eat."
Frey dug into his pocket for the little plastic baggie of iced animal crackers Kristy had given him at the start of the day. "Here, Uncle Steve. You can have an elephant."
"Arrr... I'll bite his head off, I will!" he replied, sitting up, taking off the sheet and putting the crown back on his head. "Thanks." he added, accepting the cookie.
"You're welcome." Frey answered before plopping down in Steve's lap.
"Aww," Stacey gushed at the display, "you two are soooo cute!"
Frey beamed. "Uncle Steve is my favorite uncle!" Then he looked at Claude, and added diplomatically, "Except for you, Uncle Claude."
Claude, who was still standing in the doorway, smirked a little. "Naturally."
Frey pointed to his overnight bag sitting on an armchair. "Can you make the monkey dance?" he asked, hoping Claude would do the trick for him he'd done the last time they'd seen each other.
Giving a long suffering sigh, but smiling too, Claude replied, "If I must." He went invisible and got Frey's stuffed monkey out of his bag, waving it around so it looked like it was dancing on its own.
"WHEE!" Frey cheered, clapping his hands.
"Hey, that's cool!" Steve added. "But I thought stuff went invisible when you touched it."
"Only if he wants it to." Stacey explained. She rushed over to where Claude was moving the monkey and said, "Catch me!" jumping for him to catch her in his arms.
Quickly dropping the monkey, Claude caught her, not making her go invisible so it looked like she was floating in the air.
"OOOOOOOOO!!!" Frey squealed out, flapping his arms in excitement.
Stacey giggled at his reaction, nuzzling Claude with her nose until she found his cheek and kissed it.
"Wow, this is quality entertainment!" Steve said, sharing a nod with Frey.
"I always enjoy it." Frey agreed, "But not as much as searching for buried treasure with you."
"Arrrr... we must search for me hidden booty!" Getting up, Frey playfully kicked Steve in the butt and started laughed hysterically. "Ah, there it be!"
His giggles petering out, the toddler sat down next to Steve. "I hope Aunt Claudia is done soon. I miss Mummy and Daddy."
Claude reappeared, gently setting Stacey down and squeezing her sides before releasing her. She moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table, giving Frey a sympathetic look. "Aww, you aren't used to being away from them, are you?"
With a sad expression, he rested his cheek on Steve's arm. "No. I see them every day and not being with them for most of the day is difficult."
"It's not a bad thing." Claude tried to reassure. "It's good to learn independence."
"I'm not two yet." Frey retorted, pulling at one of his locks of hair as his face grew even sadder.
Struggling not to roll his eyes, Claude said, "Well, no harm in starting early, eh? Besides, it's only been a hour."
The little boy could only shrug and started playing with his toes.
"It'll get easier, sweetpea." Stacey said. "There'll be a time when you just want to stay in your room and have time to yourself."
"That's what Mummy says." Frey answered, looking up at her. "That's called puberty, isn't it?"
"Yes." she giggled out. "Not for awhile yet, though."
"So... to teach myself independence, I should leave Mummy and Daddy alone for awhile?"
"That's right." Claude responded.
Off of Frey's depressed look, Steve added, "But ye could hang around with us. Arrr..."
"But not after we leave. You won't be there on the TARDIS." He paused to think. "I could play with my building blocks when they want to lay down. They want to lay down a lot."
Stacey and Claude exchanged a look before she answered cheerfully, "That's a great idea!"
"Do you two get as sleepy as they do?" Frey asked curiously. "I suppose it must be something that occurs once the brain starts maturing... needing a lot of rest."
Steve chuckled at the question while Stacey blushed, unable to look the child in the eye.
"Yes." Claude answered for the both of them. "We mature adults need lots of rest."
With all the innocence of a child, Frey continued, "And you get lonely so that's why you have to rest in pairs?"
Stacey started rubbing her forehead to hide her eyes, while Claude nodded. "That's right. When you love someone very much, you get lonely for them."
"Ah. This is making much more sense to me." Frey replied with a nod. "Daddy gets lonely for Mummy often. Then I get put in my crib and they go sleep for awhile."
Steve had to stifle his laughs and that almost set Stacey off with her own laughing fit, but she managed to control herself and say, "Right. They love each other very much."
"As much as you love Uncle Claude?"
Stacey looked up at Claude and grinned. He gave her a eyebrow raise in question, as if he didn't already know the answer. "Oh yes. Just as much." A smile spread across his face. She knew how much he enjoyed hearing it.
Frey cupped his chin in his hand and said wistfully, "I hope I find someone who's special to love me and take naps with me."
Thinking she'd never heard anything so adorable before in her life, Stacey answered, "Oh, you will someday."
Just then, Claudia came in the room "Okay guys, they're finished. I was thinking I could take Eowyn and Faramir's photos out in the backyard--" She paused as she caught sight of Steve. "Steve, why are you wearing a Burger King crown?"
"Because I be the Witch-king! Or I was, until Lady Eowyn slayed me."
"And I helped!" Frey declared, causing the grown ups to laugh.
"Aye." Steve added. "And Master Merry helped."
**************************************
Out in the backyard, Claude and Stacey were told to pose in front of an ancient looking tree as Claudia fiddled with her camera's settings.
Claude got down on one knee and set Stacey on it, looking up at her adoringly. In response, Stacey gave him a lovey-dovey look. When Claudia lifted her head and her camera to start taking photos, she sighed and blew a piece of hair out of her face in frustration.
"Stace, you're supposed to be Eowyn and you told me she's all bad ass, so stop with the simpering maiden look."
"Can't help it." Stacey replied, gazing at Claude with a smile. "Faramir melts Eowyn's cold heart."
Claudia groaned and resisted making a gagging noise before Claude pinched Stacey hard on the ass.
"OW! Hey!" Stacey glared at him. "What the hell was that for?"
"Perfect!" Claudia announced, quickly capturing a few pics.
"Sorry, petal." he murmured, sounding a bit guilty. It had been a spur of the moment thing. The quicker they posed the way Claudia wanted them to, the quicker they could be done and he wouldn't have the hear Claudia whine anymore.
"Way to be, Claudia." Stacey grumbled as Claudia kept snapping away at her sour expression. Turning towards Claude, she put on her best pout. "Are you really sorry?"
"Do you want me to kiss it better?"
Still pouting, she said, "No, it's fine."
But Claude made her stand up anyways. "Here, I'll do it." He gently took hold of her hips and kissed the spot that he'd pinched.
She covered her mouth, giggling. "Oh, Claude." Then she quickly pointed at Claudia. "No pics of this!"
"Ugh, no worries there." Claudia muttered, lowering her camera.
Looking up at her, Claude asked, "Better?"
She glanced back over her shoulder, her eyes sparkling with laughter. "Yes, sir."
He stood up and swept her up into his arms. "Good. Can't have my petal injured and mad at me."
Claudia snapped pics of this new pose as Stacey cuddled into his warm embrace. "Couldn't stay mad at my Ranger." she whispered. With an expression of the most ardent love, Claude wasted no time in kissing her all over her face.
Claudia lowered her camera again and sighed dramatically. "You guyyyys. You're just as bad as Kristy and the Doctor."
Stacey bit her lip, not wanting to irritate her best friend. "Sorry, sorry; we'll stop." She looked up at Claude seriously. "We'll behave, right?"
He nodded and set her on her feet. "Of course." Then he turned towards Claudia. "Pose us as you will, Madame Photographer."
Claudia had to take a moment to make sure she'd heard him correctly. Totally impressed with him for not being a jerk, she said, "Okay, take your sword in your right hand, please, and come over here... okay, and Stace, you stand in front of him a little, yeah, perfect!" She continued snapping pictures, moving around them and calling out instructions while Claude tried to focus and not look at Stacey, because she looked so beautiful that he was awfully tempted to cuddle her.
Stacey was having a similiar problem, as she could smell Claude's cologne and wanted nothing more than to snuggle back against his chest.
After a few minutes of posing and fidgeting, Claudia could tell they were going to need a break, or they'd end up mauling each other in one of their public displays of affection. "Okay, let's take a break. I know you guys are dying to cuddle." She took off her camera from around her neck and walked over to the deck where she'd left her different lenses.
Stacey whirled around so her skirts flared and held out her arms to him, but he could only stare at her beauty for a moment before going to her, allowing her to hug him around his middle.
"Are we almost done?" he asked. "Because I'd like for us to go home soon."
He had posed the question casually, but Stacey could detect a hint of irritation in his voice as his arms tightened around her. She figured he was tired of playing dress up and spending all day with people when he much preferred just her company. The next stage in his uncomfortableness at the situation would be to start making snide comments to her friends, so she decided to try and keep him happy. Giving him a gentle smile, she pulled back. "I'll go ask." She went over to Claudia and asked, "Claud? How many more pictures do you need to take of us? Claude's wanting to go."
Claudia looked through the pics on her digital camera. "Uhhh... I was going to take just a few more to be safe but these are looking good. Maybe just like, ten more minutes to be on the safe side?"
"Okay." Stacey answered with a nod, returning to Claude and snuggling into his chest. "Only ten more minutes. Can you hold out?"
He gave a long suffering sigh. "I suppose."
She propped her chin up on his armor to gaze at him. "Your Lady will reward you greatly for your patience."
His interest peaked, he asked, "Will she?"
She nodded slowly, a seductive smile creeping onto her face. "Oh yes."
"What does she have in mind?"
"Well..." she trailed off as she saw Claudia coming back over, so she lifted herself onto her tiptoes to whisper raunchy things into his ear.
Claude's eyes dilated as he growled out, "Oh, petal. Ten minutes can't go by fast enough."
She giggled at his enthusiasm and kissed his goatee softly.
"Okay guys, just a few more, I promise."
Claude posed, but was getting antsy, wanting his reward as soon as possible. Just thinking about some of the things she had suggested made his leather pants feel tighter than they already were. After what felt like an eternity and a half, Claudia took her camera off from around her neck again.
"Okay, guys, that's a wrap!" she announced. "Thanks so much!"
Before Stacey could even speak, Claude picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, heading inside so they could get changed and go.
"EEEEEE, Claaaa-aaaude! This dress is a rental!"
"So?"
"So don't wrinkle or rip it, buster." she giggled.
"I'll be very careful."
"Well, okay then. Carry away." He did just that, coming inside and heading up the stairs, and Kristy watched them pass by, while the Doctor came up behind her. "When was the last time we were that eager?"
"Ohhh, about six hours ago?" he replied, giving her a cheeky grin.
She chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's right."
**********************************
Claudia looked up from her computer to see a man staring rather closely at her photographs. They'd been on display at the art gallery for a few weeks now, and interest in them was dying down. Hopping up from her seat, she went over and gave him a smile.
"Hey there. I'm the photographer of these."
The man didn't even glance at her as he kept his eyes focused on the blown-up black and white photograph.
"Who's the man in this one?" he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.
Claudia's eyes darted up to the photo in question, one of Stacey and Claude. "Uhh..." Claudia stalled, her mind going blank. What had Claude told her to say if anyone asked about him?
The man noticed her hesitation and turned towards her, waiting.
"H-He's no one. I mean...! I dunno who he is. Just a model I hired. I don't have his card anymore." Claudia tried for nonchalance as she shrugged.
The man's creepy stare melted away and he smiled instead. "Ah, that's too bad. I'm a photographer myself, and he has an interesting look." Gesturing back to the photo, he added, "And she's beautiful. Is she a model too?"
"Oh, no." Claudia said, relieved to get off the subject of Claude. "That's my roommate, Stacey."
"Stacey." he repeated. "Awfully nice of her to pose for you."
"Yeah, she's the best."
"Funny that this man is just a model you hired. The two of them look like a couple, don't they?"
"O-Oh," Claudia stuttered, "I dunno. I mean, no, not really. I don't see it."
"Mmm, well, you did a remarkable job with these, but I really need to get going." He nodded his goodbye to her and left the gallery, leaving Claudia with a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Previous: Chapter 11 :: Next: Chapter 13
Author: nutmeg610 & toxic_corn
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: BSC/Heroes crossover
Disclaimer: Neither The Baby-sitter's Club books, nor Heroes belong to us. They belong to Scholastic Books, Ann M. Martin, and NBC.
Summary: Stacey McGill leads a pretty mundane life in NYC. She works as a temp after a failed attempt at a modeling career, but at least she lives with her best friend, Claudia Kishi. Still, that's not enough to make Stacey think there isn't something missing in her life. She's calmed down over the years, now not nearly as boy-crazy as she once was, but thinks perhaps it's time to find her own hero. She finds more than she expected when her path crosses that of the Invisible Man.
Author's Note: The next series in a long line of crackfic, my friends! Follows Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne, Wanna Get It On, Dawn?, and Kristy and the Doctor.
Round Up Post
I wish you guys could have come out here and posed for Claudia's exhibit. It was so much fun! She thinks she'll do another series, this time with only Jane Austen characters. Kristy's claimed Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy for her and the Doctor already, and I think Claude and I would make an awesome Colonel Brandon and Marianne. What about you guys?
~ snippet of an email from Stacey McGill to Dawn Schafer-Callis
Stacey smoothed her hands down the white gown she wore, admiring herself in the mirror as a smile spread across her face. She looked at herself from all angles, fiddled with her long sleeves and neckline, then stood back and nodded.
"Perfect." she whispered to herself, before pulling back the curtain of the dressing room and stepping out. She was pondering whether or not to add a tiara to her outfit when the curtain of the dressing room next to her slid open and Claude stepped out.
He was decked out in leather armor, with a cape and sword. Looking her over with an appreciative eye, he gave the sword an experimental swing. "Look, I'm from Gondor."
Just hearing that, plus the fact that he was in leather pants, caused Stacey to have to fan at her heated face. "You look so bad ass!" Looking down at herself and taking her skirts in her hands, she declared, "I'm the Lady Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan." Then she giggled and twirled for him.
His face softening as he watched her, Claude replied, "Good. Because I'm Faramir and I was looking for my Eowyn."
Stopping mid-twirl, Stacey beamed up at him, before he set his sword aside and picked her up, twirling her around. She squealed aloud, holding on tight as her husband laughed.
Claudia came around the corner then, with a floral patterned geisha gown slung over her arm and a wig in her hand. "Ooo! You two look awesome! This photography exhibit's gonna rule!"
Pressing a kiss to his petal's cheek, Claude answered, "Of course. Look how lovely she is."
"Thank you, my Ranger of Ithilien."
Claude grinned. "I'd better put you down so you can go kill the Witch-king."
"Damn straight." she said as he set her on her feet. "Can I borrow your sword?"
"Here." He picked it up and handed it to her. "Remember to take a hobbit for back-up."
"I best go find one." Standing up on tiptoe, she gently pecked him on the lips. "Wish me luck!"
"Good luck, petal."
She winked at him and took off down one of the aisles of the costume shop. Claudia had managed to get her boss to squeeze her into his art gallery's latest photography exhibit, which included characters from novels. Stacey had jumped at the chance to play Eowyn from Lord of the Rings, and after quite a bit of pleading, Claude had agreed to be her Faramir.
"Lemme take a good look at you." Claudia said to him, looking him over from all angles and nodding "You'd look good clean shaven but I'm not going to have the whole 'you'll be recognized if you're in the art show like that' argument again." She rolled her eyes. Part of the reason Claude initially hadn't wanted to participate was because plastering your face on an art gallery wall was not the best way to go about living under the radar. "But maybe you could get rid of the Shaggy look and make Faramir have a nice goatee?"
Claude narrowed his eyes at her but then caught sight of Stacey bending down and talking to little Frey Thomas, who she was getting to dress like a hobbit. He wasn't quite two yet, though being half Time Lord meant that he was already speaking in full, intelligent sentences. "I suppose a goatee would be do-able." Claude finally answered.
"Awesome!" Claudia exclaimed. "We're totally gonna have to do the photoshoot this weekend in Connecticut with the trees as a backdrop." She kept going on about how she was going to photograph them at Kristy's stepdad's mansion while Claude adjusted his gauntlets and nodded, not really listening. Kristy and the Doctor had arrived for a visit and Claudia had wasted no time in roping then into her project too.
Stacey came back then, carrying Frey in a hobbit costume against her hip with her sword in her other hand, and her arm linked with Steve the Pirate's, who was decked out in full pirate costume, complete with the hat, eyepatch, pistols, and sword. "Look guys! I found a hobbit and a pirate! That Witch-king's going down!"
Claude couldn't help himself and started laughing his ass off at the mental image of a pirate helping to fight the Witch-king.
Kristy came out of the dressing room next, dressed as Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, and immediately her eyes lit up when she saw Frey. "Eeee, look at you! My wee little hobbit!"
"Mummy, look! I'm Meriadoc Brandybuck!"
"Awwww, Merry!" Kristy rushed over to him and gave him an Eskimo kiss. "We have to find you a Pippin."
The Doctor threw open the curtain of his dressing room with a flourish, to reveal that he was wearing a garish white wig and a lacy shirt. He looked Kristy up and down before giving a sheepish smile. "Whoops, it seems I went with French aristocracy instead of British. Back in a tic." He tugged the curtain back closed as Kristy giggled into her hand. "Daddy's silly, isn't he, jellybean?"
"Indeed yes." Frey answered from his perch on Stacey's hip.
Claude came over and tickled Frey's tummy, smiling a bit, because it was hard to not like the little guy.
"EEEEEEE! Uncle Claude!" Frey cried out, squirming.
Stacey giggled as Frey flailed in her arms. "Claude's a tickling champion."
While all this was going on, Steve slid up beside Claudia and tipped his tri-cornered hat to her. "Arrrr..."
"I suppose I'll have to buy you this outfit for your birthday, won't I? 'Cause I don't want to see your sad little face when you have to bring the rental back."
His face lighting up, he replied, "You're a jewel, me dear Claudia!"
With a blush, she said, "I should try this costume on." Then she headed into a dressing room with Steve following at her heels.
"I should help." He closed the curtain behind them and a moment later the sound of giggling filled the air, followed by, "Hey, watch your sword, Cap'n!"
A growly voice answered, "That weren't me sword." The giggles increased tenfold, while Claude makes a face like he was going to be sick.
The Doctor came back out, now appropriately dressed as Mr. Darcy, with an arrogant look to match.
Kristy stared at him, melting a little inside when he fixed his gaze upon her. Raising an eyebrow he inquired, "Are you Miss Bennet?"
"I am." she said with a polite curtsey, adopting a British accent. "And you are Mr. Darcy, I presume?"
"I am." he answered with a snooty look, but then he turned his head and winked at Frey, who smiled back at him and watched their interaction with interest.
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you." Kristy replied with a sweet, polite smile.
"Mmm. I rather despise the country. I shan't be long here." He looked away to find something more interesting to hold his attention, playing the part perfectly.
"The country is quite different from what you must be used to, but it has its own charms." Kristy said, narrowing her eyes slightly, playing the part of gradually-getting-pissed-Lizzie.
Stacey exchanged a look with Frey before whispering something in his ear.
"Skip to the end!" Frey demanded with a whine.
Kristy started to giggle while the Doctor cleared his throat. "So yes, it was I who saved your sister's reputation by giving money to Wickham, blah blah blah, you know I love you, etc. may we kiss already?"
Stepping up to him and cupping his face, Kristy replied, "I love you too." Then she gave him a kiss while Frey squealed, delighted.
As they kissed, Claudia came out of her dressing room, calling behind her in a teasing voice, "Thanks for all the non-help Steve!" Facing forward, she took in the sight of Kristy and the Doctor. "Oh, wow! You guys look great!"
Breaking the kiss, Kristy gazed at The Doctor dreamily. "Doesn't he?" she asked, while he beamed back at her.
Just then, a store worker approached Stacey with a long piece of dark blue fabric slung over her arm. "I found that blue cloak you wanted."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, quickly setting Frey down. "My starry mantle! Thanks!" She took it and examined it closely. It wasn't quite book accurate, but it would have to do. In the book, Faramir gave Eowyn a blue cloak with silver stars sewn onto it that had belonged to his mother. Deciding it was only fitting for her Faramir to give it to her, she turned towards him. "Claude, will you put it on me?"
"Of course; that's what Ithilien Rangers are best at."
She handed it to him and turned around, grinning at the girls like a fool while he gently placed it across her shoulders, then kissed the back of her head.
Spinning to face him, she asked, "Do I look worthy of the Steward of Gondor?"
Eyes glittering, he replied, "You do."
Claudia sighed. She had no idea what half of the titles they addressed each other by meant, but Stacey would just wave it off and say "Book stuff," and they'd leave it at that. Clapping her hands, she said, "Okay, people. Now that we know our costumes fit, let's get outta here and grab some lunch. I need something ooey-gooey and deep fried."
Steve pursed his lips and shook his head at her eating habits, but she ignored him as she ushered the two lovey-dovey couples back towards the dressing rooms to get changed into their street clothes.
************************************
That Saturday found them all at Kristy's mom and stepdad's house, dressed in their costumes again as Claudia snapped pictures. She'd started with Steve out in the backyard, where he was portraying Captain Flint from Treasure Island, and now she'd moved onto taking photos of Kristy and the Doctor in the Brewers' formal dining room, setting it up so it looked like they were sitting for a portrait painter.
The only problem was that Frey kept trying to get into the picture to talk to his parents and it was ruining some shots.
The Doctor noted Claudia's exasperated look. "I'm afraid there are no hobbits in Regency England, Frey. Perhaps you could spend some time with Faramir and Eowyn until your Mum and I are finished with the photos?"
His face falling, Frey said, "I'm sorry, Daddy," before he picked up his plastic sword and slowly toddled out of the room. Kristy looked like she was about to bolt out of her chair after him, but the Doctor set his hand on her shoulder to stop her.
As Frey made his way into the hallway, Claude suddenly appeared in the doorway to the rec room. "Hey, there you are, Frey! We need your help in the battle of Pelennor Fields. Come on!"
"Ooooooh!" he exclaimed, trying to run as fast as his toddler legs would let him.
Claude moved aside to let him pass, then leaned back against the doorframe to watch, crossing his arms over his chest. Stacey, in her white gown, with a sword in her hand, smiled as Frey approached. "C'mon, Merry, we have to take on the Witch-king!" She pointed to Steve, who was wearing a dark blue sheet over his head and a cardboard Burger King crown. "Arr-- I mean, no mortal man can kill me!" He stepped forward and tripped over the sheet, falling to his knees. "Ow. Alright, that ruined the moment."
Frey put on a serious expression as he said, "Well, I'm a hobbit and Aunt Sta-- erm, Eowyn is a woman so we'll get youuuuu!!!" He waved his little plastic sword and clobbered Steve over the head with it.
"Ouch! Powerful swing, kid!" He took a slo mo swing with his own sword and gently whapped Stacey's arm.
"Ow, my shield arm!" Stacey exclaimed. "Take that you jerk!" She thrust her sword inbetween his arm and chest, and Steve let out an "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!" before he fell over, defeated.
Frey went over to his side and looked down curiously. "Are you all right, Uncle Steve?"
From under the sheet, Steve replied in his deep, pirate voice, "I be killed, young hobbit!" Then he switched to his normal voice. "But other than that, I'm cool."
Peeking under the sheet, Frey asked, "Do you want a biscuit?"
"Ooo, yeah! Even evil guys gotta eat."
Frey dug into his pocket for the little plastic baggie of iced animal crackers Kristy had given him at the start of the day. "Here, Uncle Steve. You can have an elephant."
"Arrr... I'll bite his head off, I will!" he replied, sitting up, taking off the sheet and putting the crown back on his head. "Thanks." he added, accepting the cookie.
"You're welcome." Frey answered before plopping down in Steve's lap.
"Aww," Stacey gushed at the display, "you two are soooo cute!"
Frey beamed. "Uncle Steve is my favorite uncle!" Then he looked at Claude, and added diplomatically, "Except for you, Uncle Claude."
Claude, who was still standing in the doorway, smirked a little. "Naturally."
Frey pointed to his overnight bag sitting on an armchair. "Can you make the monkey dance?" he asked, hoping Claude would do the trick for him he'd done the last time they'd seen each other.
Giving a long suffering sigh, but smiling too, Claude replied, "If I must." He went invisible and got Frey's stuffed monkey out of his bag, waving it around so it looked like it was dancing on its own.
"WHEE!" Frey cheered, clapping his hands.
"Hey, that's cool!" Steve added. "But I thought stuff went invisible when you touched it."
"Only if he wants it to." Stacey explained. She rushed over to where Claude was moving the monkey and said, "Catch me!" jumping for him to catch her in his arms.
Quickly dropping the monkey, Claude caught her, not making her go invisible so it looked like she was floating in the air.
"OOOOOOOOO!!!" Frey squealed out, flapping his arms in excitement.
Stacey giggled at his reaction, nuzzling Claude with her nose until she found his cheek and kissed it.
"Wow, this is quality entertainment!" Steve said, sharing a nod with Frey.
"I always enjoy it." Frey agreed, "But not as much as searching for buried treasure with you."
"Arrrr... we must search for me hidden booty!" Getting up, Frey playfully kicked Steve in the butt and started laughed hysterically. "Ah, there it be!"
His giggles petering out, the toddler sat down next to Steve. "I hope Aunt Claudia is done soon. I miss Mummy and Daddy."
Claude reappeared, gently setting Stacey down and squeezing her sides before releasing her. She moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table, giving Frey a sympathetic look. "Aww, you aren't used to being away from them, are you?"
With a sad expression, he rested his cheek on Steve's arm. "No. I see them every day and not being with them for most of the day is difficult."
"It's not a bad thing." Claude tried to reassure. "It's good to learn independence."
"I'm not two yet." Frey retorted, pulling at one of his locks of hair as his face grew even sadder.
Struggling not to roll his eyes, Claude said, "Well, no harm in starting early, eh? Besides, it's only been a hour."
The little boy could only shrug and started playing with his toes.
"It'll get easier, sweetpea." Stacey said. "There'll be a time when you just want to stay in your room and have time to yourself."
"That's what Mummy says." Frey answered, looking up at her. "That's called puberty, isn't it?"
"Yes." she giggled out. "Not for awhile yet, though."
"So... to teach myself independence, I should leave Mummy and Daddy alone for awhile?"
"That's right." Claude responded.
Off of Frey's depressed look, Steve added, "But ye could hang around with us. Arrr..."
"But not after we leave. You won't be there on the TARDIS." He paused to think. "I could play with my building blocks when they want to lay down. They want to lay down a lot."
Stacey and Claude exchanged a look before she answered cheerfully, "That's a great idea!"
"Do you two get as sleepy as they do?" Frey asked curiously. "I suppose it must be something that occurs once the brain starts maturing... needing a lot of rest."
Steve chuckled at the question while Stacey blushed, unable to look the child in the eye.
"Yes." Claude answered for the both of them. "We mature adults need lots of rest."
With all the innocence of a child, Frey continued, "And you get lonely so that's why you have to rest in pairs?"
Stacey started rubbing her forehead to hide her eyes, while Claude nodded. "That's right. When you love someone very much, you get lonely for them."
"Ah. This is making much more sense to me." Frey replied with a nod. "Daddy gets lonely for Mummy often. Then I get put in my crib and they go sleep for awhile."
Steve had to stifle his laughs and that almost set Stacey off with her own laughing fit, but she managed to control herself and say, "Right. They love each other very much."
"As much as you love Uncle Claude?"
Stacey looked up at Claude and grinned. He gave her a eyebrow raise in question, as if he didn't already know the answer. "Oh yes. Just as much." A smile spread across his face. She knew how much he enjoyed hearing it.
Frey cupped his chin in his hand and said wistfully, "I hope I find someone who's special to love me and take naps with me."
Thinking she'd never heard anything so adorable before in her life, Stacey answered, "Oh, you will someday."
Just then, Claudia came in the room "Okay guys, they're finished. I was thinking I could take Eowyn and Faramir's photos out in the backyard--" She paused as she caught sight of Steve. "Steve, why are you wearing a Burger King crown?"
"Because I be the Witch-king! Or I was, until Lady Eowyn slayed me."
"And I helped!" Frey declared, causing the grown ups to laugh.
"Aye." Steve added. "And Master Merry helped."
**************************************
Out in the backyard, Claude and Stacey were told to pose in front of an ancient looking tree as Claudia fiddled with her camera's settings.
Claude got down on one knee and set Stacey on it, looking up at her adoringly. In response, Stacey gave him a lovey-dovey look. When Claudia lifted her head and her camera to start taking photos, she sighed and blew a piece of hair out of her face in frustration.
"Stace, you're supposed to be Eowyn and you told me she's all bad ass, so stop with the simpering maiden look."
"Can't help it." Stacey replied, gazing at Claude with a smile. "Faramir melts Eowyn's cold heart."
Claudia groaned and resisted making a gagging noise before Claude pinched Stacey hard on the ass.
"OW! Hey!" Stacey glared at him. "What the hell was that for?"
"Perfect!" Claudia announced, quickly capturing a few pics.
"Sorry, petal." he murmured, sounding a bit guilty. It had been a spur of the moment thing. The quicker they posed the way Claudia wanted them to, the quicker they could be done and he wouldn't have the hear Claudia whine anymore.
"Way to be, Claudia." Stacey grumbled as Claudia kept snapping away at her sour expression. Turning towards Claude, she put on her best pout. "Are you really sorry?"
"Do you want me to kiss it better?"
Still pouting, she said, "No, it's fine."
But Claude made her stand up anyways. "Here, I'll do it." He gently took hold of her hips and kissed the spot that he'd pinched.
She covered her mouth, giggling. "Oh, Claude." Then she quickly pointed at Claudia. "No pics of this!"
"Ugh, no worries there." Claudia muttered, lowering her camera.
Looking up at her, Claude asked, "Better?"
She glanced back over her shoulder, her eyes sparkling with laughter. "Yes, sir."
He stood up and swept her up into his arms. "Good. Can't have my petal injured and mad at me."
Claudia snapped pics of this new pose as Stacey cuddled into his warm embrace. "Couldn't stay mad at my Ranger." she whispered. With an expression of the most ardent love, Claude wasted no time in kissing her all over her face.
Claudia lowered her camera again and sighed dramatically. "You guyyyys. You're just as bad as Kristy and the Doctor."
Stacey bit her lip, not wanting to irritate her best friend. "Sorry, sorry; we'll stop." She looked up at Claude seriously. "We'll behave, right?"
He nodded and set her on her feet. "Of course." Then he turned towards Claudia. "Pose us as you will, Madame Photographer."
Claudia had to take a moment to make sure she'd heard him correctly. Totally impressed with him for not being a jerk, she said, "Okay, take your sword in your right hand, please, and come over here... okay, and Stace, you stand in front of him a little, yeah, perfect!" She continued snapping pictures, moving around them and calling out instructions while Claude tried to focus and not look at Stacey, because she looked so beautiful that he was awfully tempted to cuddle her.
Stacey was having a similiar problem, as she could smell Claude's cologne and wanted nothing more than to snuggle back against his chest.
After a few minutes of posing and fidgeting, Claudia could tell they were going to need a break, or they'd end up mauling each other in one of their public displays of affection. "Okay, let's take a break. I know you guys are dying to cuddle." She took off her camera from around her neck and walked over to the deck where she'd left her different lenses.
Stacey whirled around so her skirts flared and held out her arms to him, but he could only stare at her beauty for a moment before going to her, allowing her to hug him around his middle.
"Are we almost done?" he asked. "Because I'd like for us to go home soon."
He had posed the question casually, but Stacey could detect a hint of irritation in his voice as his arms tightened around her. She figured he was tired of playing dress up and spending all day with people when he much preferred just her company. The next stage in his uncomfortableness at the situation would be to start making snide comments to her friends, so she decided to try and keep him happy. Giving him a gentle smile, she pulled back. "I'll go ask." She went over to Claudia and asked, "Claud? How many more pictures do you need to take of us? Claude's wanting to go."
Claudia looked through the pics on her digital camera. "Uhhh... I was going to take just a few more to be safe but these are looking good. Maybe just like, ten more minutes to be on the safe side?"
"Okay." Stacey answered with a nod, returning to Claude and snuggling into his chest. "Only ten more minutes. Can you hold out?"
He gave a long suffering sigh. "I suppose."
She propped her chin up on his armor to gaze at him. "Your Lady will reward you greatly for your patience."
His interest peaked, he asked, "Will she?"
She nodded slowly, a seductive smile creeping onto her face. "Oh yes."
"What does she have in mind?"
"Well..." she trailed off as she saw Claudia coming back over, so she lifted herself onto her tiptoes to whisper raunchy things into his ear.
Claude's eyes dilated as he growled out, "Oh, petal. Ten minutes can't go by fast enough."
She giggled at his enthusiasm and kissed his goatee softly.
"Okay guys, just a few more, I promise."
Claude posed, but was getting antsy, wanting his reward as soon as possible. Just thinking about some of the things she had suggested made his leather pants feel tighter than they already were. After what felt like an eternity and a half, Claudia took her camera off from around her neck again.
"Okay, guys, that's a wrap!" she announced. "Thanks so much!"
Before Stacey could even speak, Claude picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, heading inside so they could get changed and go.
"EEEEEE, Claaaa-aaaude! This dress is a rental!"
"So?"
"So don't wrinkle or rip it, buster." she giggled.
"I'll be very careful."
"Well, okay then. Carry away." He did just that, coming inside and heading up the stairs, and Kristy watched them pass by, while the Doctor came up behind her. "When was the last time we were that eager?"
"Ohhh, about six hours ago?" he replied, giving her a cheeky grin.
She chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's right."
**********************************
Claudia looked up from her computer to see a man staring rather closely at her photographs. They'd been on display at the art gallery for a few weeks now, and interest in them was dying down. Hopping up from her seat, she went over and gave him a smile.
"Hey there. I'm the photographer of these."
The man didn't even glance at her as he kept his eyes focused on the blown-up black and white photograph.
"Who's the man in this one?" he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.
Claudia's eyes darted up to the photo in question, one of Stacey and Claude. "Uhh..." Claudia stalled, her mind going blank. What had Claude told her to say if anyone asked about him?
The man noticed her hesitation and turned towards her, waiting.
"H-He's no one. I mean...! I dunno who he is. Just a model I hired. I don't have his card anymore." Claudia tried for nonchalance as she shrugged.
The man's creepy stare melted away and he smiled instead. "Ah, that's too bad. I'm a photographer myself, and he has an interesting look." Gesturing back to the photo, he added, "And she's beautiful. Is she a model too?"
"Oh, no." Claudia said, relieved to get off the subject of Claude. "That's my roommate, Stacey."
"Stacey." he repeated. "Awfully nice of her to pose for you."
"Yeah, she's the best."
"Funny that this man is just a model you hired. The two of them look like a couple, don't they?"
"O-Oh," Claudia stuttered, "I dunno. I mean, no, not really. I don't see it."
"Mmm, well, you did a remarkable job with these, but I really need to get going." He nodded his goodbye to her and left the gallery, leaving Claudia with a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Previous: Chapter 11 :: Next: Chapter 13