Rayne Fic: Sense
Title: Sense
Author: nutmeg610
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Jayne
Prompt: #27 Awake, from my table
Disclaimer: The show and movie? Not mine.
Summary: Her mind was fractured, filled with spiderwebs and equations and blood and empty space where an amygdala should be.
She got confused sometimes. Her brain mixed colors with sounds, and tastes with words, all jumbled together and caught in the spiderweb of her mind. Nowadays, more coherant thoughts spilled through the web's large holes, but sometimes blue reminded her of screaming, and the words 'mother' and 'father' left a bitter taste in her mouth.
But she couldn't feel alone in that. Memories could easily be triggered by the senses. Whenever she smelled cinnamon in the spice bazaars, she could taste the cinnamon sugar cookies her family's cook growing up had always made for Christmas. And she knew that whenever Mal looked down at his long brown coat swishing around his legs that he could smell death in Serenity Valley in perfect detail.
Whenever Zoe saw the plastic dinosaurs on the pilot's console, she could hear Wash's breathing in her ear, just the way he did when they were curled up together at night. Kaylee feeling engine grease slide between her fingers transported her back home to her father's repair shop, while whenever Inara sat on her elegant settee and touched the velvety fabric, she was reminded of the feel of Mal's velvety lips on hers.
Simon would see a much younger River in pigtails whenever she would laugh giddily at something, while Jayne would hear his hero's song whenever he drank milk. The senses worked together to bring the past alive.
Her mind was fractured, filled with spiderwebs and equations and blood and empty space where an amygdala should be. There were chemical formulas and dead bodies and dance steps and star charts. That was why she tried to look past the brain and focus on the heart.
Heartbeats reminded River of safety. At first it was her mother's, as she rocked little River against her chest. Then it was Simon's as he saved her from the bullies who made fun of the genius child. And now, now it was Jayne's as he kept the Blue Hands from invading her mind.
The THUMP THUMP sound echoing in her ear at night was safety. The blue and the screams and the red and the stickiness and the bitter and the pain were all faint to her when she could hear the sound. And when she was close enough to hear it, she could feel it too. Feeling the THUMP THUMP was even better. The beat kept the colors under sight and the scents under smell. It was one thing to have a sense trigger another one of the senses in a memory, it was another to confuse which senses controlled what in present time.
She suddenly felt a rumble, like an earthquake, and heard the sound of Jayne's voice enter her ears and her mind through the holes in the web.
"Yer doin' it again, girlie girl."
Lifting her head, River gazed at his face in the darkened bunk. "What?" she questioned.
"Yer doin' the 'tappin' out the beat' thing."
Finally noticing that her hand was resting over his heart, tapping it in sync with it's beating, she pulled it away.
"Sorry. I was lost in the colors... and the sounds... and the thoughts, and I didn't realize--"
"Mmm, I know." he replied, sounded tired. Her tapping had woken him up again.
She set her head back down on his chest. "You smell like warmth."
"That a fact?" he mumbled, used to her way.
"Yes, and you taste like the sun, and feel like rock, and sound like thunder."
"Hey, them last two made sense ta me." he mused, and that made her giggle.
"Good. I am happy when you understand the words. They don't always come easily."
"I know." he answered, squeezing her against his side. "Now, are we gonna git back ta sleep, or didja wanna knee me in my boys an' make my night complete?"
Letting out a huff, River answered, "That was one time; I was excited."
"Yeah, well my John Thomas weren't too excited 'bout it. Could barely walk the next day."
Hoping her words would come clearly, she replied, "Now you know how I feel when you get excited." She was, of course, refering to the soreness of her thighs on nights when he was very excited.
"Mmm hmm!" he answered, and she could hear his smile. It was a strange thing, being about to hear a smile, but then again, River was a strange girl.
She settled her hand back over his heart, then reconsidered, curling it under her chin instead, so she wouldn't end up tapping him when the THUMP THUMP reminded her she was safe.
Together they slowly drifted off into unconsciousness; wrapped up in dreams that made them both smile.
Now everything was orange knitted hats and shiny silver pistols and pink dresses and brown hair. And that was the way things should be, even if they didn't always make sense.
Author: nutmeg610
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Jayne
Prompt: #27 Awake, from my table
Disclaimer: The show and movie? Not mine.
Summary: Her mind was fractured, filled with spiderwebs and equations and blood and empty space where an amygdala should be.
She got confused sometimes. Her brain mixed colors with sounds, and tastes with words, all jumbled together and caught in the spiderweb of her mind. Nowadays, more coherant thoughts spilled through the web's large holes, but sometimes blue reminded her of screaming, and the words 'mother' and 'father' left a bitter taste in her mouth.
But she couldn't feel alone in that. Memories could easily be triggered by the senses. Whenever she smelled cinnamon in the spice bazaars, she could taste the cinnamon sugar cookies her family's cook growing up had always made for Christmas. And she knew that whenever Mal looked down at his long brown coat swishing around his legs that he could smell death in Serenity Valley in perfect detail.
Whenever Zoe saw the plastic dinosaurs on the pilot's console, she could hear Wash's breathing in her ear, just the way he did when they were curled up together at night. Kaylee feeling engine grease slide between her fingers transported her back home to her father's repair shop, while whenever Inara sat on her elegant settee and touched the velvety fabric, she was reminded of the feel of Mal's velvety lips on hers.
Simon would see a much younger River in pigtails whenever she would laugh giddily at something, while Jayne would hear his hero's song whenever he drank milk. The senses worked together to bring the past alive.
Her mind was fractured, filled with spiderwebs and equations and blood and empty space where an amygdala should be. There were chemical formulas and dead bodies and dance steps and star charts. That was why she tried to look past the brain and focus on the heart.
Heartbeats reminded River of safety. At first it was her mother's, as she rocked little River against her chest. Then it was Simon's as he saved her from the bullies who made fun of the genius child. And now, now it was Jayne's as he kept the Blue Hands from invading her mind.
The THUMP THUMP sound echoing in her ear at night was safety. The blue and the screams and the red and the stickiness and the bitter and the pain were all faint to her when she could hear the sound. And when she was close enough to hear it, she could feel it too. Feeling the THUMP THUMP was even better. The beat kept the colors under sight and the scents under smell. It was one thing to have a sense trigger another one of the senses in a memory, it was another to confuse which senses controlled what in present time.
She suddenly felt a rumble, like an earthquake, and heard the sound of Jayne's voice enter her ears and her mind through the holes in the web.
"Yer doin' it again, girlie girl."
Lifting her head, River gazed at his face in the darkened bunk. "What?" she questioned.
"Yer doin' the 'tappin' out the beat' thing."
Finally noticing that her hand was resting over his heart, tapping it in sync with it's beating, she pulled it away.
"Sorry. I was lost in the colors... and the sounds... and the thoughts, and I didn't realize--"
"Mmm, I know." he replied, sounded tired. Her tapping had woken him up again.
She set her head back down on his chest. "You smell like warmth."
"That a fact?" he mumbled, used to her way.
"Yes, and you taste like the sun, and feel like rock, and sound like thunder."
"Hey, them last two made sense ta me." he mused, and that made her giggle.
"Good. I am happy when you understand the words. They don't always come easily."
"I know." he answered, squeezing her against his side. "Now, are we gonna git back ta sleep, or didja wanna knee me in my boys an' make my night complete?"
Letting out a huff, River answered, "That was one time; I was excited."
"Yeah, well my John Thomas weren't too excited 'bout it. Could barely walk the next day."
Hoping her words would come clearly, she replied, "Now you know how I feel when you get excited." She was, of course, refering to the soreness of her thighs on nights when he was very excited.
"Mmm hmm!" he answered, and she could hear his smile. It was a strange thing, being about to hear a smile, but then again, River was a strange girl.
She settled her hand back over his heart, then reconsidered, curling it under her chin instead, so she wouldn't end up tapping him when the THUMP THUMP reminded her she was safe.
Together they slowly drifted off into unconsciousness; wrapped up in dreams that made them both smile.
Now everything was orange knitted hats and shiny silver pistols and pink dresses and brown hair. And that was the way things should be, even if they didn't always make sense.