I'm sorry...
I feel so despicably racked with guilt I wanna vomit.
I chatted with this girl (hardly a friend) who once had a fling with this guy. The three of us met during the summer. And the guy liked me (never told me during this time). So, in that summer, I was never told close to either of them, though I talked more with the guy than I did with the girl. I never thought even in my wildest dreams that he could, would, like me. He was really attractive and I know my flaws that I have doubts someone could ever like me (but they still do). But he did and I NEVER knew, okei? He even once told me he had a crush on the lady who was with us in that summer. I kept teasing him about it because it was fun, so...however, in that summer, he had two weeks to go to Manila and he stayed there.
When he came back, he told me he no longer had a crush on the lady when I teased him again. Since, that was the end of it, I teased him again with this other girl (the one I have only been just chatting with).
Then summer ended and the school started.
I saw them around school and was one of the few who knew there was a budding relationship in there. I knew before he told me. And I, in all boastful confidence, told him I was right that he indeed had a crush on that girl.
He told me I was wrong.
All of a sudden, we started texting each other and chatting on facebook. And we started talking. In a day, he told me about the girl and him, and about him. Honestly, I really enjoy sharing confidences so I listened and exhausted topics.
It wasn't until he offered sex that I realized the truth.
There were hints before then. I just ignored them and placed them as playful words between friends. I never knew he was serious.
I think he got himself embarassed when I laughed at him (and his offer).
Then all of a sudden, he and the girl weren't an item any longer. I didn't know what happened since the two of us largely ignore each other nowadays. I didn't think of anything then.
Until I saw her tweet and her facebook post.
Now, I feel so guilty. I know she doesn't know anything. I know she doesn't know that I have been a factor but, I still feel wracked with guilt knowing that there was something there I potentially destroyed.
I seriously felt bile rising up my throat.