..i got my finger on the trigger and your in my way....
so. lets see. went to venice. had a good time. bought a painting. had some old black guy rub my butt. EEWWW... and um... yeah. so i went to trevors and his parents said they were going to mexico sooo he gets on the computer and starts looking at porn and im like i want to look at porn and we decide to split up so we dont have to ahem.. see eachother. well u know. so.. i go in to devs room and lock the door and like 5 minutes later i hear "trevor you are so gullible". and its them and they are home. so i jump up and turn off the porn and trevor runs to the computer (cuz he went pee first) and it was the scariest thing ever. lol. but any ways. so we went swimming. and then i went home and now im here. and i smell like trevors cat. eew. im so taking a shower. and yeah. so today was pretty good. im glad i went to venice = the happiest place on earth. i did have some mood swings but i dont care. fuck fuck fuck. so yeah im still pissed and sad and everything. and im not a happy camper. and yeah. so the only reason im going to charter oak next year is janell and devin eden. dont think its because of you because.. its not. i still am leaving right after high school and moving to the middle of nowhere and excluding my self from the fuckin world. the end.
oh yeah:
"Vindicated"
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine ahead has caught my eye
And roped me in so mesmerizing
It's so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so
Isolated so
Motivated I am
Certain now that I am
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself
So tired of the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment for forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim
Against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself
My hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
"Saying Goodbye"
She kisses everyone goodbye
And waves her middle finger high
They're never gonna mess with her again
The drama queen is seventeen
And sleeping with boys for free
She's got a reputation of being easy
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She thinks about herself and cares about nobody else
because the only friends she has all put her down
They hate her when she's beautiful and even more when she's a fool
They talk behind her back when it's her birthday
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She's saying goodbye, she's wasted all her loney tear drops
Saying goodbye, she's used up all her lonely tear drops now
Everytime they put her down, she makes a fist and the tears roll down
She packs her bags and plans to run away from here
And everytime she makes a friend, the vicous cycle starts again
She's never, ever, ever looking back
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops
She's saying goodbye and leaving tonight
She's used up all her lonely tear drops now
She's wasted all her lonely tear drops now
...Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
but you can never leave!