HOWARD FINKEL:
Here is your sole survivor....the Bride!...Beatrixxxx...KID--DOOOOO!!!
After carving an unstoppable path of destruction, Doctor Who finally fell to a rather shocking upset. Nothing against The Bride but if only one person was going to walk away from this war, I didn't think it would be her. Though she never won Bash Wars, she has truly achieved Bash Wars Revenge! Perhaps it's only appropriate.
Let's recap the action! Things
started out intense, with Doctor Who taking a commanding lead spelling eventual doom for his opponents. Brock Samson was in dead last, until at the last minute he gained enough votes to tie with Batman, effectively dooming himself and his partner!
- Brock 3, Bride 5, Batman 3, House 5
- Count 4, Who 13, Animal 4, Kenobi 5
With Team Brock/House immediately halved, it looked like the battle would be over before it began! But the voting fluctuated wildly, and although Obi-Wan was in last place another run of last-minute votes tied him with Animal and the Count!
This time it was Team Ten/Count that suffered massive losses:
- Bride 10, House 7
- Count 5, Who 9, Animal 5, Kenobi 5
We hit the nitty-gritty in
the third round, much sooner than I would have expected, but once again Doctor Who found a way to benefit from the nature of the rules, as everyone voting for his team was united in their choice while everyone voting for the other team was split in their choice, causing the two-on-one disadvantage to work in his favor! (I may need to tinker with the format next time.) Once again Who had an authoritative lead and his victory looked assured, as he settled my question of whether he could beat House.
And so it came down to a
one-on-one contest, for all the marbles! And now finally the voters had a much simpler question: Who or Bride, pick one. I expected it to be close, but nothing like the razor-thin margin we got. Maybe people noticed that while Doctor Who can use a sword at all, the Bride uses a sword to kill 88 guys in ten minutes. I don't know. But in the end, one was left standing:
This concludes the action at Bash Wars V: Fiveever! We at
gore_sports thank you for your participation, and hope to announce other events of interest very soon, not the least of which will be...Bash Wars VI!