(no subject)
my eagle ceremony was freaking awesome. lots of people showed up, which was awesome. i got to see mr. linch, aaron, hugh, john, and even pat! my brother even came into town, too. then sarah and lauren were there, too.
the after party wasnt that great. i fell asleep right after mike and pat got into a chatroom war on two separate laptops. that was pretty damn funny. pat was "superman" and mike was "i hate superman." after a while of arguing in the chatroom, they would both private message the same people and just mess with them.
i realize that probably doesnt seem funny to many of you, but believe me, it was.
and my parents have been really pissy lately.
first was my eagle ceremony. i didnt wear scout pants, which pissed my mom off. then i didnt plan the ceremony out as much as my dad wanted me to, so he was acting like an asshole. then, after work on saturday i mentioned to my mom about me quitting roundtable. then she freaked out at me as if she hadnt been told before. god damn.
she thinks that if i dont have a job this summer that i will wake up at noon everyday and just sit at the house. so, pretty much, she doesnt want me to be luke.
shes probably right. but im still not staying at roundtable. and im not going back to hell, aka summercamp.
i feel dead. i, for the life of me, cannot do a fucking thing in school. havent done much of anything in physics, dont understand the material at all, and the test is next week. i have done nothing in math for many weeks, now, and i dont really understand whats going on in that class either. in german, i have several chapters in our arbeits buch that was due on friday that i havent done. and in english, i am thirteen chapters behind the book were reading.
i dont have enough time to do these things and the time that i do have to do homework is not spent doing so. i honestly can feel my grades slipping, my mind drifting, and shit just falling apart in general. i cant keep this up, though. the more i think about how much next year is going to suck, the less i care about what happens this year. i have to find a completely new group of friends to hang out with, and im afraid that itll end up being either the stoners under the bridge or the group of sophomores on the third floor.
i want to yell out and just sit down and just let all of my angst and depression and loneliness and anxieties out. but i cant.
this is completely pathetic, but i actually tried to make myself cry the other night, but i couldnt. instead, i woke up in terror the next morning, thinking that my wrists had been cut and i was bleeding to death. what the fuck is that?
im going to go try to do homework and fail.
-laterski
the after party wasnt that great. i fell asleep right after mike and pat got into a chatroom war on two separate laptops. that was pretty damn funny. pat was "superman" and mike was "i hate superman." after a while of arguing in the chatroom, they would both private message the same people and just mess with them.
i realize that probably doesnt seem funny to many of you, but believe me, it was.
and my parents have been really pissy lately.
first was my eagle ceremony. i didnt wear scout pants, which pissed my mom off. then i didnt plan the ceremony out as much as my dad wanted me to, so he was acting like an asshole. then, after work on saturday i mentioned to my mom about me quitting roundtable. then she freaked out at me as if she hadnt been told before. god damn.
she thinks that if i dont have a job this summer that i will wake up at noon everyday and just sit at the house. so, pretty much, she doesnt want me to be luke.
shes probably right. but im still not staying at roundtable. and im not going back to hell, aka summercamp.
i feel dead. i, for the life of me, cannot do a fucking thing in school. havent done much of anything in physics, dont understand the material at all, and the test is next week. i have done nothing in math for many weeks, now, and i dont really understand whats going on in that class either. in german, i have several chapters in our arbeits buch that was due on friday that i havent done. and in english, i am thirteen chapters behind the book were reading.
i dont have enough time to do these things and the time that i do have to do homework is not spent doing so. i honestly can feel my grades slipping, my mind drifting, and shit just falling apart in general. i cant keep this up, though. the more i think about how much next year is going to suck, the less i care about what happens this year. i have to find a completely new group of friends to hang out with, and im afraid that itll end up being either the stoners under the bridge or the group of sophomores on the third floor.
i want to yell out and just sit down and just let all of my angst and depression and loneliness and anxieties out. but i cant.
this is completely pathetic, but i actually tried to make myself cry the other night, but i couldnt. instead, i woke up in terror the next morning, thinking that my wrists had been cut and i was bleeding to death. what the fuck is that?
im going to go try to do homework and fail.
-laterski