(no subject)
To be emotionally honest, none of these things would be the point to me.
My thoughts, and where I think the whole house of cards falls apart, is that love is a choice. Where it takes a certain type of person in the first place to supersede sex as a defining point in a relationship, one thing is universal, and that is choosing someone. No matter how good you are at balancing your relationships almost every single thing is choosing one relationship over another.
In the beginning the sexy run around seems honest and fun, jumping over minor hurtles like jealousy and learning to be respectful of sex and the power it has. There comes to a point however, where eventually we start to seek something different, emotional security. Once we realize this need everything changes, and every word in every text is trying to wish the truth away, but eventually and no matter how hard you try you will hurt yourself and others by choosing another other.
This adds up and eventually undermines the pretty ideas. The hurt one can suffer when a partner is chosen over another is stiffed and frowned upon by other community members and written off as "jealousy" and something that needs to be overcome, like you can just intellectualize emotions so easily. It all stacks up and is destine to fall. The longer it takes to realize the higher the fall will be.
People try to make up for it by having a "Primary", but the reality is, those people are just having a relationship while still enjoying casual sex, but at the end of the day are just a relationship, two people with there own set of understandings that they work together on.
From my experience and having witnessed others, enjoy the road you are on painful and beautiful, take notes and love, but realize eventually you will choose, and that choice will be more beautiful then the thrill of any other potential other, embrace it and allow yourself to grow out of the lifestyle when the time comes.
My thoughts, and where I think the whole house of cards falls apart, is that love is a choice. Where it takes a certain type of person in the first place to supersede sex as a defining point in a relationship, one thing is universal, and that is choosing someone. No matter how good you are at balancing your relationships almost every single thing is choosing one relationship over another.
In the beginning the sexy run around seems honest and fun, jumping over minor hurtles like jealousy and learning to be respectful of sex and the power it has. There comes to a point however, where eventually we start to seek something different, emotional security. Once we realize this need everything changes, and every word in every text is trying to wish the truth away, but eventually and no matter how hard you try you will hurt yourself and others by choosing another other.
This adds up and eventually undermines the pretty ideas. The hurt one can suffer when a partner is chosen over another is stiffed and frowned upon by other community members and written off as "jealousy" and something that needs to be overcome, like you can just intellectualize emotions so easily. It all stacks up and is destine to fall. The longer it takes to realize the higher the fall will be.
People try to make up for it by having a "Primary", but the reality is, those people are just having a relationship while still enjoying casual sex, but at the end of the day are just a relationship, two people with there own set of understandings that they work together on.
From my experience and having witnessed others, enjoy the road you are on painful and beautiful, take notes and love, but realize eventually you will choose, and that choice will be more beautiful then the thrill of any other potential other, embrace it and allow yourself to grow out of the lifestyle when the time comes.