it's a trust thing...
I don't want to trust anyone right now. People keep trying to fix me up with grandsons and nephews and so-in-so's and I don't want it. For once in my life. I have so much pain inside of me, that if I even tried to love someone else like that again, It would take so much out of me that I don't think I could do it. I think this is here for a reason. I think it's good for me. Yeah, so some days I get lonely...but doesn't everyone? Boyfriend or no boyfriend, husband or no husband...you can have as many friends or companions as you'd like and you would still get lonely at one point. I've learned that my empty, lonely, void, can only be filled by something greater. HE fills every crevice of my heart. HE never lets me down. HE comes through just in time and I know that I can ALWAYS trust HIM. I feel like I can't do that right now...trust, that is. I guess I'm afraid to get hurt again..and for good reason. Maybe one day I will be able to do it again, but I think I feel this way for a purpose...HE has things HE wants to teach me. For so long I have trusted everyone...with anything. My heart, my emotions, my time, my life...thinking they would never hurt me. I threw around my trust like it was nothing. Trust is priceless. If you have someone's trust, or they have yours...there is no greater bond or gift between the two (I mean, I know people say Love is the greatest gift...but what is love without trust?--you can't have it).
Just a thought.
Just a thought.