(no subject)
i am happy. i really am. but summer always leaves me with this dissatisfied feeling. i sit at home and do a lot of nothing.
i go to work, where i clean fitting rooms, help customers and realize how unattractive i am. mirrors will do that to you. that and working in the juniors department.
i come home. sit on the internet. for hours. looking at facebook and livejournal and xanga and realize how much more exciting everyone else's lives seem. i wonder if others do the same as i, sit and look at how amazing everyone else is and realize how much their own life is lacking.
sometimes i'll read. but then i realize the world i submerge myself in is not real. i will never live in tortall, where women are knights and there are stormwings who will defile these knights when they die on the battle field. i will never live in WWII Europe fleeing for my life and where being jewish is reason enough for me to die.
i go to bed. wake up at 1pm the next day. and repeat. work, internet, read. all things making me realize how bored i am with myself and my life. but there's nothing that can be done about it.
i hate summer because i'm always waiting. waiting for something more interesting to happen. waiting for some person to drop into my life and sweep me off my feet. waiting for something better.
it seems like i spend all of my life waiting for something better.
i go to work, where i clean fitting rooms, help customers and realize how unattractive i am. mirrors will do that to you. that and working in the juniors department.
i come home. sit on the internet. for hours. looking at facebook and livejournal and xanga and realize how much more exciting everyone else's lives seem. i wonder if others do the same as i, sit and look at how amazing everyone else is and realize how much their own life is lacking.
sometimes i'll read. but then i realize the world i submerge myself in is not real. i will never live in tortall, where women are knights and there are stormwings who will defile these knights when they die on the battle field. i will never live in WWII Europe fleeing for my life and where being jewish is reason enough for me to die.
i go to bed. wake up at 1pm the next day. and repeat. work, internet, read. all things making me realize how bored i am with myself and my life. but there's nothing that can be done about it.
i hate summer because i'm always waiting. waiting for something more interesting to happen. waiting for some person to drop into my life and sweep me off my feet. waiting for something better.
it seems like i spend all of my life waiting for something better.