(no subject)
You know how long its been since I posted anything? Too long. Im not really sure what to post about or if there is anything I want to mention. Well, lately I just have been chilling at school or working. I havent went out in god knows when. Usually on my days off I just sit and watch tv and sleep. I dont really have friends anymore. I dont have much anymore. I think I am slipping again. I am getting really depressed for no reason. I think I am just going through a lot right now. I got my report card the other day and I have no F's thank gosh. I have a's b's like 1 C and 2 D's that are soon gonna be better. I cant screw up this year. No way, I am working really hard. Im in Psychology and were doing a scrapbook and its 380 points. I dont know how I am gonna do it. I am getting somewhere with it but not really sure. Theres a lot of pieces missing in my life. I was also looking into the Foreign excange program and going to the Dominican Republic. I wanna explore and get out and just enjoy life. Im not really sure how things are right now. Last night, I cried myself to sleep and I dont even really know why. I just know that I am unhappy for some reason and I cant put my finger on what exactly it is. Theres nothing I am really missing...Theres just a void. My surgery date needs to be scheduled soon. I know that they had to wait but it shouldnt be much longer. (clue in: Im getting the mole on my upper lip removed) Im ready I guess. I really dont care, hehe. But Im not really sure what else to write. But im going to leave you all with a poem I was messing around with the other day. here it is. It makes me cry...hehe
My heads pounding, my stomachs turning,
I can't remember how we got here,
Why, oh why can't I remember you?
Your face is in my mind, but your names so far gone,
Tell me what to do now?
Now that your gone, so far away,
I can't recall you anymore,
You've hurt me so, I am sure of that,
I need time to get over you, and then you're gone,
You've walked away, said you couldn't take it anymore,
Was it your good grace or the hair in your face that made you care?
Tell me what's left to do now?
Now that your gone down that road,
I can't see your face, cant recall your name anymore,
You've hurt me enough, dont turn around I need to get over you and you just turn your back on me,
I've watched you go, seen the look in your eyes,
You didnt even budge when you seen the tears on my face,
Your said ill be fine, it will be over soon,
All the pains still here and your face is still in my mind,
Your names on the tip of my tongue
The farther you walk away the more my heart fades,
I can barely breathe I need to pull my head up above the water,
Nothing making sense anymore,
I forgot what life was like,
I forgot how to breathe now that your gone,
Now that your gone
so far away in the distance
I cant see your face,
Out of sight out of mind,
The pains still there, but there nothing unpainful right?
Love hurts,
For every action theres a consequence
Your my consequence, my savior,
I can pick my head up and breathe,
I can walk now too
Walk right away from you
Walk with my back to you
When, Im gone thats all you will get from me, is the look of it and how I turned on you too
No more sleep overs, no more long talks, no more dreaming, no more hugs and kisses,
just the pleasure to say goodbye is all I need,
I gave and gave and never got anything in return but some cuts and bruises,
from me to you
Good Bye, for now and forever
My heads pounding, my stomachs turning,
I can't remember how we got here,
Why, oh why can't I remember you?
Your face is in my mind, but your names so far gone,
Tell me what to do now?
Now that your gone, so far away,
I can't recall you anymore,
You've hurt me so, I am sure of that,
I need time to get over you, and then you're gone,
You've walked away, said you couldn't take it anymore,
Was it your good grace or the hair in your face that made you care?
Tell me what's left to do now?
Now that your gone down that road,
I can't see your face, cant recall your name anymore,
You've hurt me enough, dont turn around I need to get over you and you just turn your back on me,
I've watched you go, seen the look in your eyes,
You didnt even budge when you seen the tears on my face,
Your said ill be fine, it will be over soon,
All the pains still here and your face is still in my mind,
Your names on the tip of my tongue
The farther you walk away the more my heart fades,
I can barely breathe I need to pull my head up above the water,
Nothing making sense anymore,
I forgot what life was like,
I forgot how to breathe now that your gone,
Now that your gone
so far away in the distance
I cant see your face,
Out of sight out of mind,
The pains still there, but there nothing unpainful right?
Love hurts,
For every action theres a consequence
Your my consequence, my savior,
I can pick my head up and breathe,
I can walk now too
Walk right away from you
Walk with my back to you
When, Im gone thats all you will get from me, is the look of it and how I turned on you too
No more sleep overs, no more long talks, no more dreaming, no more hugs and kisses,
just the pleasure to say goodbye is all I need,
I gave and gave and never got anything in return but some cuts and bruises,
from me to you
Good Bye, for now and forever