it's always the same!
so i always start these stupid entries as "it's been a while..." so i'm going to skip that part, cuz ya'll already know it's been a while. so many times when i'm feeling like i just need to write, i don't have the energy to turn the computer on and type my thoughts out. i've been very emotionally charged here lately. things keep changing in my life, and i need to learn how to deal with the changes. I'm putting so much stress on myself, and everything; my relationship, my responsibilities, the future.
pat's right, i find the negative and dwell on it. i don't know why i do that. i guess that's just easier? i use to not be that way. by putting so much pressure on things, i create a problem. i need to work on that, for myself more than anything. i feel like it's making me crazy.
so on an entirely different note, pat and i went to new orleans thanksgiving weekend. it was a great, quiet trip. pat bought my engagement ring, it's gorgeous! prettier than i remember when i picked it out. he had lunch with my dad and that went really well. so the deal is, since everything was pretty much a walk in the park, i want him to put some thought into proposing for real. i didn't want him to just so okay here ya go.
ok and one more thing, last night pat and i were talkin. he asked me the strangest question ever, he asked what i would do if him and jess got back together, not that it would happen, but just wondering. and i looked at him and was like what?! i'd probly go coocoo. and i asked where that came from and he said that jess said somethin to him wednesday when he dropped dyllon off. they sat there for like 30 minutes talking about i don't really know what. but pat told me that she said something about how she still loves him and thinks about being with him and pat said he told her straight up. that he loves her and wants her to do well for herself but that they'd never be together again. and then he said, to me, jess likes me. she told him that she sees that he has become a better person since we've been together, and that he's really changed a lot. and she just wishes that it could have been her that did that for him, but it was me, and she said she really likes me. so not that i need anyone's approval, it means a lot. i mean the fact is pat's not the only one that's going to be connected to her his whole life, i am too. it's just nice to know that i won't ever have to worry about that.
pat's right, i find the negative and dwell on it. i don't know why i do that. i guess that's just easier? i use to not be that way. by putting so much pressure on things, i create a problem. i need to work on that, for myself more than anything. i feel like it's making me crazy.
so on an entirely different note, pat and i went to new orleans thanksgiving weekend. it was a great, quiet trip. pat bought my engagement ring, it's gorgeous! prettier than i remember when i picked it out. he had lunch with my dad and that went really well. so the deal is, since everything was pretty much a walk in the park, i want him to put some thought into proposing for real. i didn't want him to just so okay here ya go.
ok and one more thing, last night pat and i were talkin. he asked me the strangest question ever, he asked what i would do if him and jess got back together, not that it would happen, but just wondering. and i looked at him and was like what?! i'd probly go coocoo. and i asked where that came from and he said that jess said somethin to him wednesday when he dropped dyllon off. they sat there for like 30 minutes talking about i don't really know what. but pat told me that she said something about how she still loves him and thinks about being with him and pat said he told her straight up. that he loves her and wants her to do well for herself but that they'd never be together again. and then he said, to me, jess likes me. she told him that she sees that he has become a better person since we've been together, and that he's really changed a lot. and she just wishes that it could have been her that did that for him, but it was me, and she said she really likes me. so not that i need anyone's approval, it means a lot. i mean the fact is pat's not the only one that's going to be connected to her his whole life, i am too. it's just nice to know that i won't ever have to worry about that.