3rd entry today...fuckin eh
fuck dude im so fucking bored and im so mad and sad and depressed and not happy and not my self and no one to talk to and no one to hang out and its like the world pulled a 180 on me. a few weeks ago i was all happy. then i came back to reality. i should have known id be sad/mad/depressed/bitchy soon. what a great birthday present for it all to sink in today. there has been so many sources to my moodes. so seeing i have no life or friends who wanna hang out with me cuz they all suck, ill just bitch about it here to get it out so i will feel better
well lets start with my job. FUCK SHAWS there i said it. i hate that place. since may i said i can work anywhere to get my 30-40 hrs a week, im still getting 15 and 16 and 17. fuck man im so po i cant even afford the or. i have applied to other places and got no calls back, no one wants to hire any more. i have been lazy with karate which has to change now cuz i know thats a key to being happy and my time there is limited.
my moms gettin a hip replacement and sergery is not cheap. my dad fucked his knee up at work and may be out on workers comp and he need sergery. oh yea did i mention sergery is not cheap? so yea that means i have to find more hours so i can help out pay bills and shit cuz yea they only pay 60% of your salary on workers comp...better than none but still...we struggle as it is. luckily he may be able to work in the offive insted of on the t. lucky for us where he hurt himself some one hurt themselves before and it was never fixed so there is a nice 6 figure lawsuite commin soon. but my dads a procrastionator. so yea its gunna suck havin 2 dissabled parents for 6-8 weeks, my last 6-8 weeks of summer, then i go to school, oh yea school, more bills we cant afford. then my poor bro has to basically take care of my parents while the recover.
not to mention as of late my life have been eventless and meaningless. my basic day is wake up and go to work...if i work, come home, be bored, go to karate, comehome and be bored and start all over again. all the pressures of my dad tellin me to get a new job and that you wont get no where with a job at shaws...im like dude im in college, wut the fuck am i suposed to do for work? hes like start a land scape companey. im like yea...um no why run a business then kill it in spetember...i dont wanna labor all summer but i dont wanna be bored either, any day its nice out to go to the beach, i work that day. when its cold and shit out, it seems im off and finding my self wishing i was elsewhere. fuck man. so now here it is on my birthday and i went to sleep at 4:30 am woke up at 9:30 went to get my ice cream cake, then came home and was bored till i had to get my hair cut, then came home and was bored till dinner. at least for two hours i had a decent time, the waitress was so fine. she was the idle beautyfull woman for me, big perky boobs, a nice tummy, nice ass, not too tall but not too short, wicked cute, a wicked pissah bawstin accent, and all around totally attractive. but then after dinnah it was back to reality. back to the shitty day, shitty life, shitty situations, shitty everything. and all for what? fuck i wonder why life has to suck so much sometimes. i hate how money dictates everything you do, i hate waching e and seeing the fabulious life of... i dont fucking care how much money that skank bag paris hilton makes and wastes on shit that she will never use or will wear onece, i dont care that j lo has 3 fucking houses in miami over 1 million dollars each and we can barley afford this one. its like the only way to have a good life is to have totaly financial security then work on anything else that is not to you likeing. i mean come on if you have money as no object, you can buy anything material to make you happy, and then you can find a significant other or at least have them play along as one...fuck dude i hate this country and how this world works, im so with sam on that thos world sucks, i want to live in like 1600 where you farmed or what ever and you made your own home and food and lived a fair and honest hard erned life...blah