The High School Experiment
I wasn't going to write this post. Seriously, I was going to give the benefit of the doubt and just ignore the post - I got a few lines in, and then decided it was way over the line and completely unnecessary. But, boy was I wrong. Once again, my feelings on this topic were stirred up and, well, I decided I had to mention it. Plus, it's kind of funny unless you are one of them. So, sit back, read, and enjoy. Oh, and I might just have to make this appear in tne NorthStar. Just maybe.
Through observation, I've finally come to the conclusion that the average freshman has the intelligence level of your ordinary lab rat. Why? Because both obviously have yet to be taught how to push a lever. I apologize to all of the intelligent freshmen who read this; in fact, I apologize to all of the female freshmen (unless your bathrooms are just as hideous as the boys, but for some reason, I doubt this). Do not think this is directed towards you. But maybe you’re the people who can really help train the rest of your class.
Here’s the picture: I have an urge to use the restroom in my science classroom, so I get a pass and exit into the hallway. I walk into the bathroom, where there are two urinals overflowing and two others clogged with towels. The three stalls are filled completely with certain putrid substances in a manner I’d rather not depict. I gave up, went downstairs, where (lo and behold) the bathroom, while not immaculate, is at least functional.
Honestly, I have to ask: when did it become cool to stuff entire rolls of paper towels into a toilet bowl? And, if it really is that cool, do your toilets at home look like that, too? After all, seeing as habits like sagging pants occur outside of school as well, I’m sure that this toilet-stuffing madness must extend beyond school. I’ll admit I’m usually not up-to-date on the latest fashion trends and habits, but, this time, someone must have turned the world upside-down when I wasn’t looking.
Maybe there’s another explanation for the mess in the freshmen bathrooms. Maybe there’s a ghost that haunts the freshmen bathrooms. Maybe it’s some sadistic teacher who feels that students should study above all, including basic bodily functions. Or maybe, as a solution, we need to transform the bathrooms into giant Skinner boxes that dispense food for everyone who has the ability to realize the good that can be done with a single lever press.
EDIT: Pierce suggested the title, as opposed to The High School Experiment, as The Phantom Pooper? I find it quite hilarious.
Through observation, I've finally come to the conclusion that the average freshman has the intelligence level of your ordinary lab rat. Why? Because both obviously have yet to be taught how to push a lever. I apologize to all of the intelligent freshmen who read this; in fact, I apologize to all of the female freshmen (unless your bathrooms are just as hideous as the boys, but for some reason, I doubt this). Do not think this is directed towards you. But maybe you’re the people who can really help train the rest of your class.
Here’s the picture: I have an urge to use the restroom in my science classroom, so I get a pass and exit into the hallway. I walk into the bathroom, where there are two urinals overflowing and two others clogged with towels. The three stalls are filled completely with certain putrid substances in a manner I’d rather not depict. I gave up, went downstairs, where (lo and behold) the bathroom, while not immaculate, is at least functional.
Honestly, I have to ask: when did it become cool to stuff entire rolls of paper towels into a toilet bowl? And, if it really is that cool, do your toilets at home look like that, too? After all, seeing as habits like sagging pants occur outside of school as well, I’m sure that this toilet-stuffing madness must extend beyond school. I’ll admit I’m usually not up-to-date on the latest fashion trends and habits, but, this time, someone must have turned the world upside-down when I wasn’t looking.
Maybe there’s another explanation for the mess in the freshmen bathrooms. Maybe there’s a ghost that haunts the freshmen bathrooms. Maybe it’s some sadistic teacher who feels that students should study above all, including basic bodily functions. Or maybe, as a solution, we need to transform the bathrooms into giant Skinner boxes that dispense food for everyone who has the ability to realize the good that can be done with a single lever press.
EDIT: Pierce suggested the title, as opposed to The High School Experiment, as The Phantom Pooper? I find it quite hilarious.