Interesting...
Hypothetically speaking, if someone I was dating read this I would highlight the following numbers: 17,22,23,25,29,34,40,41...
The Truth About Women
1. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she's going to outlive you.
2. Most women will not have sex for the first time unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she's trying to keep herself in line.
3. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can't get a hard-on she assumes you're not attracted to her.
4. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.
5. The sight of you in socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
6. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn't get along with other women because she's either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
7. Girls who say, "I love sports!" are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they're talking about, are not.
8. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she's most fertile.
9. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
10. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it's their car.
11. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from KOHLS. Because her friends will ask where she got it.
12. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on the average they receive less pay than male counterparts--and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
13. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle, you noble bastard.
14. 16 percent of American men have been with a prostitute--scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
15. Women always want to believe what you're saying is true.
16. The threesome is not about you; it's about the two girls. If you're lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there's a good chance it'll end the relationship.
17. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blowjob you've ever had.
18. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
19. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.
20. Unless they're lesbians, she won't approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they're ugly. And, really, even if they're lesbians.
21. If you have something to hide, she'll find it.
22. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you will be "friended."
23. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while, she's going to pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
24. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
25. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
26. Women often cite manhandling of the breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.
27. Most women think they're better drivers than they are. Don't point this out while she's at the wheel or she'll freak and crash.
28. The best-looking woman often possess the least self-confidence.
29. Don't call her "cute". In her mind it's the same as "not-vomit inducing". "Sexy"' ok. "Hot", yes. "Fucking awesome", only if she's at least slightly buzzed.
30. Women want to talk dirty, but they're afraid you won't respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn't make her less classy and she'll probably go wild.
31. A psycho jealous girlfriend will do anything to keep her man--including anal.
32. About 40 percent of women still call their fathers "daddy".
33. The only way girls who don't know each other can start a conversation and signal that they're non-threatening is to compliment one another's clothes, shoes, jewelry, or hair. To become BFF, a common enemy is needed.
34. Let her beat you in something every once in a while--poker, chess, ping-pong--and she'll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quite.
35. Women's public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men's.
36. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.
37. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? The C-cup.
38. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you'll see it more often.
39. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
40. The more piercings she has, the more places she'll let you put it.
41. Any good woman will tell you, honesty is not always the best policy.
42. Chicks aren't afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
43. Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn't give you an excuse to suck at foreplay. They love it.
44. Studies show women are more attracted to "macho" guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they're drawn to "good providers", otherwise known as chumps.
45. Ugly girls hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.
46. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
47. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That's your five o' clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh.
48. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
49. The one breakup line she'll never be able to argue you out of: "I'm sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you."
50. You'll probabaly never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
The Truth About Women
1. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she's going to outlive you.
2. Most women will not have sex for the first time unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she's trying to keep herself in line.
3. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can't get a hard-on she assumes you're not attracted to her.
4. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.
5. The sight of you in socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
6. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn't get along with other women because she's either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
7. Girls who say, "I love sports!" are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they're talking about, are not.
8. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she's most fertile.
9. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
10. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it's their car.
11. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from KOHLS. Because her friends will ask where she got it.
12. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on the average they receive less pay than male counterparts--and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
13. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle, you noble bastard.
14. 16 percent of American men have been with a prostitute--scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
15. Women always want to believe what you're saying is true.
16. The threesome is not about you; it's about the two girls. If you're lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there's a good chance it'll end the relationship.
17. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blowjob you've ever had.
18. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
19. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.
20. Unless they're lesbians, she won't approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they're ugly. And, really, even if they're lesbians.
21. If you have something to hide, she'll find it.
22. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you will be "friended."
23. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while, she's going to pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
24. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
25. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
26. Women often cite manhandling of the breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.
27. Most women think they're better drivers than they are. Don't point this out while she's at the wheel or she'll freak and crash.
28. The best-looking woman often possess the least self-confidence.
29. Don't call her "cute". In her mind it's the same as "not-vomit inducing". "Sexy"' ok. "Hot", yes. "Fucking awesome", only if she's at least slightly buzzed.
30. Women want to talk dirty, but they're afraid you won't respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn't make her less classy and she'll probably go wild.
31. A psycho jealous girlfriend will do anything to keep her man--including anal.
32. About 40 percent of women still call their fathers "daddy".
33. The only way girls who don't know each other can start a conversation and signal that they're non-threatening is to compliment one another's clothes, shoes, jewelry, or hair. To become BFF, a common enemy is needed.
34. Let her beat you in something every once in a while--poker, chess, ping-pong--and she'll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quite.
35. Women's public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men's.
36. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.
37. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? The C-cup.
38. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you'll see it more often.
39. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
40. The more piercings she has, the more places she'll let you put it.
41. Any good woman will tell you, honesty is not always the best policy.
42. Chicks aren't afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
43. Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn't give you an excuse to suck at foreplay. They love it.
44. Studies show women are more attracted to "macho" guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they're drawn to "good providers", otherwise known as chumps.
45. Ugly girls hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.
46. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
47. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That's your five o' clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh.
48. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
49. The one breakup line she'll never be able to argue you out of: "I'm sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you."
50. You'll probabaly never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.