This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
I am not going to achieve my goal. After a day of nothing but healthy goodness, I came home, ready to prepare my salad dinner, opened the fridge and there sitting in front of me in several containers, mocking me, daring me, were leftovers... so cruel is life. I have been blessed with a lack of self control. So of course I gorged myself on an assortment of high carb, high protein delicacies.
Then I proceeded to attempt to burn it all off. My mind is somewhat retarded in it’s way of thinking.
Then… I woke early as per usual to try and jiggy jog my way to perfection. I venture into the cool morning air, ready to tackle some dive bombing birds and alas, a fine rain was a falling. I glower. I fume. I stamp my foot in the most cliché of expressions in disgust. I drag my feet back indoors perch upon my exercise bike and proceed to pedal.
Then… I drop my brand new pot of moisturiser all over the floor. The contents making a wonderful splash mark across the carpet...
Then... whilst sitting in stand still traffic, the car behind me decides to launch itself into mine. After taking several deep breaths and contemplating whether or not to take my club-lock along with me for this confrontation, I approach the damage. Upon inspection everything seemed fine. Boot opens. Scratchless bumper. Sweet. I contemplated screaming at the woman, but she looked pretty scared as it was.
There’s more...
Then... not five minutes after that episode, my heart still beating erratically, I nearly got merged into. I mean SERIOUSLY! Give me a stuffing break!
*counts to ten... thousand*
Then I proceeded to attempt to burn it all off. My mind is somewhat retarded in it’s way of thinking.
Then… I woke early as per usual to try and jiggy jog my way to perfection. I venture into the cool morning air, ready to tackle some dive bombing birds and alas, a fine rain was a falling. I glower. I fume. I stamp my foot in the most cliché of expressions in disgust. I drag my feet back indoors perch upon my exercise bike and proceed to pedal.
Then… I drop my brand new pot of moisturiser all over the floor. The contents making a wonderful splash mark across the carpet...
Then... whilst sitting in stand still traffic, the car behind me decides to launch itself into mine. After taking several deep breaths and contemplating whether or not to take my club-lock along with me for this confrontation, I approach the damage. Upon inspection everything seemed fine. Boot opens. Scratchless bumper. Sweet. I contemplated screaming at the woman, but she looked pretty scared as it was.
There’s more...
Then... not five minutes after that episode, my heart still beating erratically, I nearly got merged into. I mean SERIOUSLY! Give me a stuffing break!
*counts to ten... thousand*