(no subject)
Okay.. so now Im stuck.
I love josh.. yes. thats a given.
BUT
I dont want to date a whinny guy that "just wants to make me happy" ALL THE TIME... Hes bittersweet.
Hes perfect and I hate it... He needs some serious flaws.. lol.
Ive always been drawn to guys that are aweful for me in the beginning and by the end of the relationship they are (in at least a couple peoples opinions) better people... I like helping asswholes. Is that so bad?? Yes.
Yes.
Yes it is.
Everyone seems to think Im just messing with josh.. Im not. i just want my old Josh back.. the fun josh that was so crazy and just.. awesome.. all he wanted to do was surf and spend "quality time" together.. it was the best.. now... we just dont... I dunno.. we just dont do things the way we used to. Were an old married couple... How do I fix that ya know? So.. I gave it time. And I wasnt going to wait around until josh just magically became my josh again... I think he's back now but what if hes not ya know? what if its a fluke.. Im not risking that. im too afraid of losing him again.. so Im waiting.. im not messing with him... Im waiting. i think thats the right thing to do... Im not running off with other guys.. and its not just for me.. in fact.. it sucks for me.. its not at all for me. i want josh. I was happy... and now im not. Now im alone! so.. yeah. Im not sure who Im trying to convince more.. the people saying that Im just messing with him.. or myself. I just miss josh.. thats all.. and I bet within the next week yall will all see us get back together. I miss him too much. WAY too much.
I love josh.. yes. thats a given.
BUT
I dont want to date a whinny guy that "just wants to make me happy" ALL THE TIME... Hes bittersweet.
Hes perfect and I hate it... He needs some serious flaws.. lol.
Ive always been drawn to guys that are aweful for me in the beginning and by the end of the relationship they are (in at least a couple peoples opinions) better people... I like helping asswholes. Is that so bad?? Yes.
Yes.
Yes it is.
Everyone seems to think Im just messing with josh.. Im not. i just want my old Josh back.. the fun josh that was so crazy and just.. awesome.. all he wanted to do was surf and spend "quality time" together.. it was the best.. now... we just dont... I dunno.. we just dont do things the way we used to. Were an old married couple... How do I fix that ya know? So.. I gave it time. And I wasnt going to wait around until josh just magically became my josh again... I think he's back now but what if hes not ya know? what if its a fluke.. Im not risking that. im too afraid of losing him again.. so Im waiting.. im not messing with him... Im waiting. i think thats the right thing to do... Im not running off with other guys.. and its not just for me.. in fact.. it sucks for me.. its not at all for me. i want josh. I was happy... and now im not. Now im alone! so.. yeah. Im not sure who Im trying to convince more.. the people saying that Im just messing with him.. or myself. I just miss josh.. thats all.. and I bet within the next week yall will all see us get back together. I miss him too much. WAY too much.