she wonders where these dreams go
Christmas was good. I got games and more games from Megan, a lot of various stuff from my folks and a fishy from Melissa. I spent about half the time with Megan and the other days I was with family or Mel. Things are weird with her, and with most of my friends for that matter. I dunno.
The next week or so should prove fairly busy. Tomorrow I close and then am driving straight to Megan's. Ill stay the night there, spend all day Thursday there and stay again that night. Ill drive home Friday where I close again every night until Monday(might be more). In the meanwhile Megan will be here Friday-Monday as well. Following work on Monday is our work Xmas party. My feelings are mixed to say the least. Im there a lot already and I dont necessarily want to see most, if not all, of my co-workers bombed out of their minds.
New Years I had people over. The night turned out well overall. We played Apples to Apples which was fun then Scene it, which wasnt cause Julie, Gato and his gf had a bad attitude about it. Megan an I ended up staying up til 5 and it was gooood ;-). Meg was here the next few days which also mad me happy.
Dispite our get together on New Years ive been feeling really lonely lately. A lot more then ive probably let on. Aside from Eric and Gator i dont really feel like I have any friends. There is peoeple that I talk to daily but to me theres more to being a friend. Its funny to look at my phone and think about the people that actually call me anymore, or have ever for that matter.
It feels like the movie Its a Wonderful Life. It sounds weird. The movie makes me happy in several aspects(Ive goten laid like a million times during it, its a good movie in general, its on around the holidays) but at the same time I get depressed too. I feel unappriciated a lot(insert pity party here) but dont feel like anyone is busting through the door in my time of need any time soon.
I feel angry a lot too. Just a general venmon towards humanity. I see every day people acting rude, pissing people off, making people cry...and it destroys me inside. I get angry about it daily because I just can't understand why people do such hurtful things. I want it to change, I want people to change, but I know that I can do nothing but be myself, and thats not cutting it.
Sigh
The next week or so should prove fairly busy. Tomorrow I close and then am driving straight to Megan's. Ill stay the night there, spend all day Thursday there and stay again that night. Ill drive home Friday where I close again every night until Monday(might be more). In the meanwhile Megan will be here Friday-Monday as well. Following work on Monday is our work Xmas party. My feelings are mixed to say the least. Im there a lot already and I dont necessarily want to see most, if not all, of my co-workers bombed out of their minds.
New Years I had people over. The night turned out well overall. We played Apples to Apples which was fun then Scene it, which wasnt cause Julie, Gato and his gf had a bad attitude about it. Megan an I ended up staying up til 5 and it was gooood ;-). Meg was here the next few days which also mad me happy.
Dispite our get together on New Years ive been feeling really lonely lately. A lot more then ive probably let on. Aside from Eric and Gator i dont really feel like I have any friends. There is peoeple that I talk to daily but to me theres more to being a friend. Its funny to look at my phone and think about the people that actually call me anymore, or have ever for that matter.
It feels like the movie Its a Wonderful Life. It sounds weird. The movie makes me happy in several aspects(Ive goten laid like a million times during it, its a good movie in general, its on around the holidays) but at the same time I get depressed too. I feel unappriciated a lot(insert pity party here) but dont feel like anyone is busting through the door in my time of need any time soon.
I feel angry a lot too. Just a general venmon towards humanity. I see every day people acting rude, pissing people off, making people cry...and it destroys me inside. I get angry about it daily because I just can't understand why people do such hurtful things. I want it to change, I want people to change, but I know that I can do nothing but be myself, and thats not cutting it.
Sigh