the angpao that stole christmas
its december once again, so i thought i'd do a christmas entry. dont worry, this has zero cheese. just the usual amount of bitchiness.
i just got out of a fight with the empress dowager. she wants me to fix the house for christmas. i was all for it, even got a little excited. design is one of the things i like to dabble in, be it interior, fashion and whatever else. i didnt get excited because of the whole christmas thing. anyway, christmas tree finally goes up and i decided on a "red delicious" theme for this year. so i had her look at it and the first thing she says is that its ugly. and she says this just because i havent put up christmas lights in it yet. i know i was just sourgraping, but i decided not to continue after the tree. i had no motivation whatsoever.
so it got me to think about christmas, and the need for people to see the decorations and what not. cause i would HATE to see anything christmas in my room, EVER. i thought about why i've always had an aversion for the holidays.
ok, so i was fairly young when i realized that there is no santa. i think i found out immediately after i discovered who he is. its sad. i have friends that didnt find out till they were old na. but anyway, yeah, santa as dead for me right from the start. i think my mom told me just to get out of getting me two presents for christmas. the gifts that i got for christmas when i was a kid trully kicked ass, because i was the one buying them for myself. they made me pick and give me money to buy it with. that only lasted for a bit, soon it was just a money handout. and this was the same for everyone else in my family. they just give money.
ok i used to think that this rocked, cause i got to pool the money together and buy myself something expensive. but in retrospect, i thnk i missed out on something important. the money that was given had no spirit to it. it was just a cop out, a way for the parents to get out of giving it some thought or putting in the least bit of effort. christmas felt obligatory, a requirement.
so now that im working, and earning my own cash, christmas just feels obsolete. i dont need the handouts this year. what id get i can earn in a month. and thats without having to be nice, or fake, or plastic. no wonder i dont see the point in decorating. its just for show. and if its one thing i hate, its being fake.
its not the same on my mother's side though. they give real gifts. i used to think that christmas with them always sucked, but now im on the fence.
i want to skip the holidays. i just want to jump straight to new years. at least then theres a chance that one of my relatives could get blown up.
i just got out of a fight with the empress dowager. she wants me to fix the house for christmas. i was all for it, even got a little excited. design is one of the things i like to dabble in, be it interior, fashion and whatever else. i didnt get excited because of the whole christmas thing. anyway, christmas tree finally goes up and i decided on a "red delicious" theme for this year. so i had her look at it and the first thing she says is that its ugly. and she says this just because i havent put up christmas lights in it yet. i know i was just sourgraping, but i decided not to continue after the tree. i had no motivation whatsoever.
so it got me to think about christmas, and the need for people to see the decorations and what not. cause i would HATE to see anything christmas in my room, EVER. i thought about why i've always had an aversion for the holidays.
ok, so i was fairly young when i realized that there is no santa. i think i found out immediately after i discovered who he is. its sad. i have friends that didnt find out till they were old na. but anyway, yeah, santa as dead for me right from the start. i think my mom told me just to get out of getting me two presents for christmas. the gifts that i got for christmas when i was a kid trully kicked ass, because i was the one buying them for myself. they made me pick and give me money to buy it with. that only lasted for a bit, soon it was just a money handout. and this was the same for everyone else in my family. they just give money.
ok i used to think that this rocked, cause i got to pool the money together and buy myself something expensive. but in retrospect, i thnk i missed out on something important. the money that was given had no spirit to it. it was just a cop out, a way for the parents to get out of giving it some thought or putting in the least bit of effort. christmas felt obligatory, a requirement.
so now that im working, and earning my own cash, christmas just feels obsolete. i dont need the handouts this year. what id get i can earn in a month. and thats without having to be nice, or fake, or plastic. no wonder i dont see the point in decorating. its just for show. and if its one thing i hate, its being fake.
its not the same on my mother's side though. they give real gifts. i used to think that christmas with them always sucked, but now im on the fence.
i want to skip the holidays. i just want to jump straight to new years. at least then theres a chance that one of my relatives could get blown up.