(no subject)

[googler]

let me tell yo ua story
a lil story i like to call
my life
it goes a lil somethin like this
ok so one day i was like searching for this nail clipper right? so i go to my dads room and open up his friggin nightstand drawer (by the way this is all in a new york italian accent)
i will keep that in mind
and so im lookin through the stuff right and i find a shitload of condoms and lube
and im like what the friggin hell, so i ask my mom where the clippers are when she gets home and shes like in the drawer
and im like no, there are only your personal items there, insinuating my digust
and then i was like
well, my mom had a part of her uterus taken out because i think she had a tumor,
and so i was like
mom
how old were you?
you cant have babies
this was this year
so why do you need condoms
and shes like
well
if you really want to knwo the truth
your dad makes a mess
i was like.... wow
i did not want to hear that.
i cannot breathe i am laughing so hard
"ito you should be glad your dad is full of so much love and is so powerful"
that's what she told me next
i left the kitchen
that is the best story ever
yes i know
i have saved it for a while
i remembered it like
3 days ago