(no subject)
the saying distance makes the heart grow fonder is actually true. and i found that out today well not found out exactly but realized. I haven't seen Brent for over a couple of hours this whole week. and tonight i think it just finally got to me. I'm used to seeing him a lot. Like spending the evening together a couple of times a week. And every waking moment together on the weekends. And this week i barely talked to him at all and i barely saw him. Ok lets face it these last couple of nights have been rough for me do to some family problems. and i haven't had anyone to talk to. and sure there is ben. and i did talk to him a little bit but he doesn't know me like brent does. we aren't as close as me and brent are. he doesn't know my history. well granted brent doesn't really know but he does know how things are with me and my dad. he knows what to say. and i just needed someone to talk to so bad. everyone else is busy off in there own life and here is me dealing with everything by myself. I was sitting at Shanes house today with him and ben and i was just like "i want a cigarette" and they both hate smoking so they like yelled "no" at me. and i may say taht but im not gonna smoke... its been 6 months im trying to keep it that way.
Amy says growing numb to things is the worst that it won't help. I say sometimes u have to, sometimes teh pain jsut gets to unbareable and u can't take it anymore. Numb is like a drug and since i don't do drugs i do numb. drugs help u forget for a time/ help u not feel pain for a time. numb helps me not feel pain almost all the time with a few memories that creep up and get u. Numb is how i get through my month. Numb is how i get through the week. and Numb most importantly is how i get through the days.
sry... i was talking abuot one thing and i was also instant messaging amilia at that time so thats where that came in and idk where i left off at the other paragraph so in the words of me "Fuck it.. Just fuck it"
Amy says growing numb to things is the worst that it won't help. I say sometimes u have to, sometimes teh pain jsut gets to unbareable and u can't take it anymore. Numb is like a drug and since i don't do drugs i do numb. drugs help u forget for a time/ help u not feel pain for a time. numb helps me not feel pain almost all the time with a few memories that creep up and get u. Numb is how i get through my month. Numb is how i get through the week. and Numb most importantly is how i get through the days.
sry... i was talking abuot one thing and i was also instant messaging amilia at that time so thats where that came in and idk where i left off at the other paragraph so in the words of me "Fuck it.. Just fuck it"