(no subject)
so I went through what seemed like a few weeks of possible depression. I'm feeling better the last day and a half or so, hopefully this lasts. Not amazingly happy, just not constantly sad/thinking about things/not feeling happy/excited.
I started my new job today, it went alright.
Cedar Point and Staycation time would have been much better had I not been depressed, saying that, they were ok at best, nothing too impressive, but nothing major happened so that's good.
I want a certain pair of shoes. They are expensive, but the idea that my baby honey has them does not help me want to not spend the money, it makes me want them even more.
Sometimes I find out things about people and my heart sinks, I want to talk to them.
Sometimes I get a certain person in my mind and I want to talk to them/see them more than usual, but I don't (maybe part of the depression)
I wish I had more time and when I had time I actually hung out with people. I have developed something where I just don't bother anymore, that way I can pretend people are as interested as I am, and not have to deal with the truth.
Not dealing with the truth is very difficult when checking facebook and seeing that other people actually see other people all the time, people who hate me don't hate other people I feel they are equally if not more justified to hate, or people who are very important to me find very little meaning in our supposed friendship.
Well I was doing well, tomorrow's a new day, right?
"but to me, coming from you, 'friend' is a four letter word."
At least I have my favorite 2 boys and I don't see that changing for a long time. Tuffy starts classes in a couple weeks!! He is still healing, but very crazy since he's not allowed to do much at all for another couple days, and stinky because no baths or swimming for another week. I love my "new" boys. I miss the guys, feel so left out of everything :/
I started my new job today, it went alright.
Cedar Point and Staycation time would have been much better had I not been depressed, saying that, they were ok at best, nothing too impressive, but nothing major happened so that's good.
I want a certain pair of shoes. They are expensive, but the idea that my baby honey has them does not help me want to not spend the money, it makes me want them even more.
Sometimes I find out things about people and my heart sinks, I want to talk to them.
Sometimes I get a certain person in my mind and I want to talk to them/see them more than usual, but I don't (maybe part of the depression)
I wish I had more time and when I had time I actually hung out with people. I have developed something where I just don't bother anymore, that way I can pretend people are as interested as I am, and not have to deal with the truth.
Not dealing with the truth is very difficult when checking facebook and seeing that other people actually see other people all the time, people who hate me don't hate other people I feel they are equally if not more justified to hate, or people who are very important to me find very little meaning in our supposed friendship.
Well I was doing well, tomorrow's a new day, right?
"but to me, coming from you, 'friend' is a four letter word."
At least I have my favorite 2 boys and I don't see that changing for a long time. Tuffy starts classes in a couple weeks!! He is still healing, but very crazy since he's not allowed to do much at all for another couple days, and stinky because no baths or swimming for another week. I love my "new" boys. I miss the guys, feel so left out of everything :/