(no subject)

[goofydork]

its so beautiful out today. after my training at smokey bones i went to wickham park for a tan and run and brought my puppy. that poor dog almost never leaves the house, she was going crazy out there. i have a thnig about going in lakes, i just dont do it. i have a little knowledge about what takes place in still bodies of water so i never partake. but it looked so clear and refreshing. next time im out there ill bring a frizbie and throw it around out there with the animal. i feel so good after going for a run and being in the sun, it recharges my spirits. i like the fact im staying, that ill be shaping my future with my own two hands. i talked to my step dad the other night... i told him everything going on, and my plans for the near future. he said he was proud of me. i thought i was going to cry. jay and i have had serious problems. our personalties collide on some levels, mainly because im not one to back down over certain issues. we've thrown fists at each other, yelled, i even walked from mi to mel on thanksgiving day because of problems with him. but ive always maintained tremendous respect for him, because i understand him like adam and eileen dont. i know he has good intentions. and to hear after all these years, him to say he was proud of me, really hit home. i didnt think i had support or approval coming from any direction. least of all his. and to know that hes in my corner, it really gives me so much encouragement. he has been more father to me then my own flesh and blood. its horrible, but every fathers day i can find more words to fill his card than my own dads.
anyway. still miss aimee. i miss having her tiny body so close to me every night. i miss losing sleep over stroking her hair and kissing her cheek. shes such a brat. another thing i miss. but there are so many things i dont miss so im fine really. ugh im hungry