I want to get out of this house.
I'll be a gibbon's avuncular relative (read: monkey's uncle) if my mother and father and brother and I all have different ways of going about a situation. I think that growing up with Tyler by my side for nineteen years, and being his brother and best friend for that period, makes me eminently capable of knowing him the best out of everyone save himself. So when he turns his phone off, I know he does not want to be bothered. Nonetheless, because he seemed particularly down today, I wanted to call him to see if he was okay.
When his phone went straight to voicemail, my mom thought it would be a good idea to phone Jamie to tell Tyler that I couldn't get through to him, and that he should call me back. With the knowledge that a phone turned off usually means Tyler would rather not speak with anyone (or he was trying to save battery power), I thought it would be fine for me to call Jamie and tell him to tell Tyler his brother missed him and that he left a potentially uplifting message on his phone - that way, Jamie could both see if Ty was doing alright AND let him know I called. My MOM, on the other hand, flipped out as she always does and demanded I ask Jamie to tell Tyler to call me back this evening. When I expressed my hesitancy, she finally said, "Fine - I'LL call Jamie," walking off muttering about me under her breath.
Me: "If you have something to say about me, then just say it to my face."
Mom: "I don't feel like it."
Me: "The reason Ty has his phone turned off is he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now!"
Mom: "Shut up."
Me: "...did you just tell me to shut up?"
And of course, I did call Jamie and ask him to let Ty know to call me back, just to appease my mom. Tyler was FINE - playing a bloody video game.
Of course, later on when she comes to me to explain her perspective, I try to give mine - only to have her eventually tell me to "just forget it."
Me: "Mom, this is exactly the problem - we never talk about things to solve them."
Mom: "We're talking right now and look where that's getting us. We're not doing anything."
Me: *as she turns to shut the door* "Yes we are! We're explaining each other's viewpoints!"
But I'll bet she didn't hear that. Nor will she likely ever. And I'm sick of people thinking their ways are infinitely more valid, and better equipped to deal with an issue, than anyone else's.
When his phone went straight to voicemail, my mom thought it would be a good idea to phone Jamie to tell Tyler that I couldn't get through to him, and that he should call me back. With the knowledge that a phone turned off usually means Tyler would rather not speak with anyone (or he was trying to save battery power), I thought it would be fine for me to call Jamie and tell him to tell Tyler his brother missed him and that he left a potentially uplifting message on his phone - that way, Jamie could both see if Ty was doing alright AND let him know I called. My MOM, on the other hand, flipped out as she always does and demanded I ask Jamie to tell Tyler to call me back this evening. When I expressed my hesitancy, she finally said, "Fine - I'LL call Jamie," walking off muttering about me under her breath.
Me: "If you have something to say about me, then just say it to my face."
Mom: "I don't feel like it."
Me: "The reason Ty has his phone turned off is he doesn't want to talk to anyone right now!"
Mom: "Shut up."
Me: "...did you just tell me to shut up?"
And of course, I did call Jamie and ask him to let Ty know to call me back, just to appease my mom. Tyler was FINE - playing a bloody video game.
Of course, later on when she comes to me to explain her perspective, I try to give mine - only to have her eventually tell me to "just forget it."
Me: "Mom, this is exactly the problem - we never talk about things to solve them."
Mom: "We're talking right now and look where that's getting us. We're not doing anything."
Me: *as she turns to shut the door* "Yes we are! We're explaining each other's viewpoints!"
But I'll bet she didn't hear that. Nor will she likely ever. And I'm sick of people thinking their ways are infinitely more valid, and better equipped to deal with an issue, than anyone else's.