cuteboringlove.
You've slipped away
But why would you come back to say
You've already moved on
You slipped away
But I've come back to say that you're not really gone.
So try to disappear
But my mind doesn't slip that easy
You can try to disappear
But my dear, you're still standing here.
So I've been pretty messed up in the head the past couple of months. I literally went crazy with loneliness and self conciousness, but I think I'm finally getting myself straightened out...organizing my thoughts and feelings.
I've never liked just blatantly telling people how I feel when it comes to certain situations, no matter how major or minor the situation is. I expect people to just know, which is totally unfair I realize...but that doesn't stop me. I never learned how to get over a broken heart by just becoming okay; I've always relied on someone else to fix it for me. I think that's the real reason why I was so quick to try to like someone, even if I really really knew deep down that I didn't. That's not fair to anyone...especially not my friends who think I'm a freakin psycho. The facts are: I'm a sucker for flattery and a listening ear, and that most definitely gets me into trouble.
I don't want to be the girl that jumps from guy to guy. I think especially since the last entry I've posted, I really have learned to become content with the fact that I am not ready to let go of Chase. I have become comfortable with my friends (and him...haha) knowing that I'm not over him, I might not be over him for awhile, and that honestly... no matter how much I try to tell myself...I think I would let him take me back if the opportunity arose. His personality, even being a jock, is very compatible with mine. I just need that personality to also be mature and comfortable with having a girlfriend.
I just want my friends to know that I really am trying not to be ridiculous about all of this now. I understand the seriousness of having a relationship, and I understand that my personality is one that requires a veerrrryyy special person to be able to be with me...one that I can't just go find on the street corner of Martin with long straightened hair and a Brand New tee on. I really do understand that now. When I find that boy, regardless of who he is and regardless of when I find him, he will be one that I've put serious thought into and prayed about. My boyfriends have never just been boyfriends; they've been my best friend (all two of 'em..haha). That's what makes losing them so hard. However, for that right boy, I'll be willing to put it all on the line again. I want to make sure I'm prepared for that when the time comes. I want to be respected again by my friends and to make good decisions. I want to be happy, but to also be content when things aren't perfect.
So, I'm gonna do better.
But why would you come back to say
You've already moved on
You slipped away
But I've come back to say that you're not really gone.
So try to disappear
But my mind doesn't slip that easy
You can try to disappear
But my dear, you're still standing here.
So I've been pretty messed up in the head the past couple of months. I literally went crazy with loneliness and self conciousness, but I think I'm finally getting myself straightened out...organizing my thoughts and feelings.
I've never liked just blatantly telling people how I feel when it comes to certain situations, no matter how major or minor the situation is. I expect people to just know, which is totally unfair I realize...but that doesn't stop me. I never learned how to get over a broken heart by just becoming okay; I've always relied on someone else to fix it for me. I think that's the real reason why I was so quick to try to like someone, even if I really really knew deep down that I didn't. That's not fair to anyone...especially not my friends who think I'm a freakin psycho. The facts are: I'm a sucker for flattery and a listening ear, and that most definitely gets me into trouble.
I don't want to be the girl that jumps from guy to guy. I think especially since the last entry I've posted, I really have learned to become content with the fact that I am not ready to let go of Chase. I have become comfortable with my friends (and him...haha) knowing that I'm not over him, I might not be over him for awhile, and that honestly... no matter how much I try to tell myself...I think I would let him take me back if the opportunity arose. His personality, even being a jock, is very compatible with mine. I just need that personality to also be mature and comfortable with having a girlfriend.
I just want my friends to know that I really am trying not to be ridiculous about all of this now. I understand the seriousness of having a relationship, and I understand that my personality is one that requires a veerrrryyy special person to be able to be with me...one that I can't just go find on the street corner of Martin with long straightened hair and a Brand New tee on. I really do understand that now. When I find that boy, regardless of who he is and regardless of when I find him, he will be one that I've put serious thought into and prayed about. My boyfriends have never just been boyfriends; they've been my best friend (all two of 'em..haha). That's what makes losing them so hard. However, for that right boy, I'll be willing to put it all on the line again. I want to make sure I'm prepared for that when the time comes. I want to be respected again by my friends and to make good decisions. I want to be happy, but to also be content when things aren't perfect.
So, I'm gonna do better.