(no subject)
Name: Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Series: Futurama
Age: 165 years old.
Job: Professor of Energy Engineering
Canon: Futurama is the story of the ~*future.*~ You know, if the future does end up being comprised of frequent space travel, aliens, robots, and being able to talk to anyone in history because their head's been preserved in a jar. The show follows the adventures of Phillip J. Fry, a former New York pizza delivery boy, who finds himself having to adapt to life in the 31st century after he accidentally froze himself for a thousand years. Fortunately, he's able to get a new job... as a delivery boy, and gains enough friends to guide him through the transition to life in New New York.
Professor Farnsworth, or just "The Professor" is the owner of the Planet Express delivery service, and Fry's great-great-great-great-great-great-etc. nephew. Not that one could initially tell, what with The Professor being one of the oldest human beings on Earth. He's a genius with regards to the fact that he's able to invent anything he feels like at the moment (though his inventions tend to be pretty ridiculous), but he's senile and unstable in the way he often forgets who he is talking to or what he is talking about, goes on long pointless tangents, or falls asleep midconversation. He has a somewhat sadistic sense of humor, in the way he says "Good news everyone!" before delivering news that is never good, and has little concern for his crew, unhesitantly sending them on suicidal delivery missions.
Sample Post:
Good news everyone! I've solved the energy crisis for you backwater campers once and for all! Oh yes, no more fussing around with gorillas running on hamster wheels to power the lights, or using flowing lava when whatever's powering this place finally gives out. Though I now suppose the crew I sent on that perilous journey into the volcano was just a massive waste of time! Those poor, miserable bastards.
Anyway! Here it is, my newest invention! I call it the Energy Converter Number One. As you can see, it's designed in the shape of a toilet. I thought of it myself while I was on the toilet. What you do, much like what I did earlier, is... go! Pee! Wizz! Whatever it is you kids call it these days. Then when you flush, it takes it and collects your deposit in this container in the back, which you then detach! Then, using a nickel-based electrode-- what do you mean is it only just pee?! It's not just ordinary pee, it's urine! Don't question me, just let me finish. After you collect it, you can use a nickel-- wha? Why do you need the toilet at all, you can just pee in the container? Why bother to make something run on pee at all? I don't understand what you're asking and I don't care! Look here, with this, I can create hydrogen which can power-- wait, why am I explaining this to you! I'm the Professor! I can make a car or cabin run on pee if I want to!
Just think about it, a urine-powered hovercar could travel 90 miles to the gallon! That's not bad for a load of pee! It would completely revolutionize family vacations! Now instead of harassing the kids to go before you leave so that you're not stopping at every rest station because of the little whiners, you could harass the kids so that you can actually make it there on one tank! Or better yet, some fathers would quit being members of the pee police! Instead of telling us to hold it, that there's only a hundred miles left, pulling over would actually be beneficial! No longer would we feel stabs of agony piercing our bladders every time the hovercar hit some turbulence, with annoying cousins screaming every synonym for water that they can think of! We could sit up as much as our seatbelts will allow, and shout "Dad, if you don't pull the hell over right now, you'll be wringing the fuel out of the seat covers!" -- But that's enough about my childhood.
Though unfortunately, this new revolution would cause some nasty trickle down to the action-movie industry. Since urine isn't flammable, you can't really have a hovercar or ship crash and explode because the tank was punctured. Oh no, instead everyone would just get pee all over themselves. ...well I suppose that would bolster the comedy industry at any rate. And make for some very good excuses as to why you've shown up somewhere covered in pee, oh my yes. I'll have to remember that one. So! Are there any questions? Yes you, the ugly one!
That's an excellent question. ...What was I talking to you about again?
Voting went here. 100% YOU GUYS ARE INSANE ilu all. &hearts