Fic: All That Glitters is a Threat to Public Health and Therefore Banned
Title: All That Glitters is a Threat to Public Health and Therefore Banned (AO3)
Author: katiemariie
Fandom(s): Star Trek: Reboot
Character(s)/Pairing(s): T'Pring/Nyota Uhura
Rating: PG
Word Count: 493
Summary: Uhura gives T'Pring a Valentine's Day card. T'Pring eats it. Because that's what Vulcans do in fanfiction.
Even though she's giving Valentines to everyone she knows aboard the Enterprise, Uhura feels a flush rise to her cheeks as she walks across the mess hall to give T'Pring her card. It doesn't help that T'Pring's card is noticeably more ornate than the others she made last night. Still, Uhura manages not to explode in a fit of giddy embarrassment before laying the frilly, heart-shaped card on the table in front of T'Pring.
T'Pring's eyes draw upward. (Uhura swears she's checking her out but that might be her subconscious desires and the dozen or so handfuls of candy hearts she's downed since this morning talking.)
“It's for you.” She smiles. “Happy Valentine's Day.”
T'Pring nods. “Thank you.” She picks up the card, examining it carefully, tracing the inscription with her eyes before shoving the whole thing-frills, glitter, and all-into her mouth. Uhura is too shocked to say anything as T'Pring chews the Valentine, no doubt mashing what Uhura spent an hour making into a fine pulp.
“Oh my god,” Uhura says, once she's learned to speak again. “What are you doing?”
T'Pring swallows politely before speaking. “Was I not supposed to eat that now?”
“You weren't supposed to eat that at all.”
“I apologize. However, is it not Human custom to imbibe the candy hearts one receives as part of the St. Valentine's Day festivities?”
“Yes, but that wasn't a candy heart. It was paper.” Uhura has to admit, in the taste department, they probably weren't too different.
“I see.” T'Pring quirks her head to the side. “If it was not meant to be eaten, then why was it covered with sprinkles?”
“Sprinkles.... That was glitter.”
“Glitter?” T'Pring's eyes widen.
“You do know what glitter is, right?”
“Yes, of course. Although, I had never seen it until today. Glitter was banned on Vulcan shortly after the Time of the Awakening as part of environmental protection reforms. I am surprised that Starfleet allows its officer to own such a volatile substance, much less give it as part of a seasonal gift.”
“It's not toxic.”
“Yes, but the numerous tiny particles could become lodged in the ship's ventilation system or be inhaled by crew members.”
Uhura smirks. “Or be eaten by an unwitting Vulcan.”
T'Pring nods, her eyes lingering on Uhura basket full of Valentines. “I suggest, as a matter of public safety, that you desist distributing your Valentine cards. I would be willing to aid you in disposing of them. Perhaps by venting the cards through airlock C facing the Lykasian nebula? This evening at 1900 hours?”
“I don't know.” Uhura grins down at the floor. “That seems like a pretty big job. We might work up an appetite.”
“I am certain I can arrange a meal in my quarters to help you regain your strength.” T'Pring reaches out, running her fingers along Uhura's wrist. “Suffice to say, you will be needing it.”
Goddamn, did Uhura find cultural misunderstandings downright stimulating...
Author: katiemariie
Fandom(s): Star Trek: Reboot
Character(s)/Pairing(s): T'Pring/Nyota Uhura
Rating: PG
Word Count: 493
Summary: Uhura gives T'Pring a Valentine's Day card. T'Pring eats it. Because that's what Vulcans do in fanfiction.
Even though she's giving Valentines to everyone she knows aboard the Enterprise, Uhura feels a flush rise to her cheeks as she walks across the mess hall to give T'Pring her card. It doesn't help that T'Pring's card is noticeably more ornate than the others she made last night. Still, Uhura manages not to explode in a fit of giddy embarrassment before laying the frilly, heart-shaped card on the table in front of T'Pring.
T'Pring's eyes draw upward. (Uhura swears she's checking her out but that might be her subconscious desires and the dozen or so handfuls of candy hearts she's downed since this morning talking.)
“It's for you.” She smiles. “Happy Valentine's Day.”
T'Pring nods. “Thank you.” She picks up the card, examining it carefully, tracing the inscription with her eyes before shoving the whole thing-frills, glitter, and all-into her mouth. Uhura is too shocked to say anything as T'Pring chews the Valentine, no doubt mashing what Uhura spent an hour making into a fine pulp.
“Oh my god,” Uhura says, once she's learned to speak again. “What are you doing?”
T'Pring swallows politely before speaking. “Was I not supposed to eat that now?”
“You weren't supposed to eat that at all.”
“I apologize. However, is it not Human custom to imbibe the candy hearts one receives as part of the St. Valentine's Day festivities?”
“Yes, but that wasn't a candy heart. It was paper.” Uhura has to admit, in the taste department, they probably weren't too different.
“I see.” T'Pring quirks her head to the side. “If it was not meant to be eaten, then why was it covered with sprinkles?”
“Sprinkles.... That was glitter.”
“Glitter?” T'Pring's eyes widen.
“You do know what glitter is, right?”
“Yes, of course. Although, I had never seen it until today. Glitter was banned on Vulcan shortly after the Time of the Awakening as part of environmental protection reforms. I am surprised that Starfleet allows its officer to own such a volatile substance, much less give it as part of a seasonal gift.”
“It's not toxic.”
“Yes, but the numerous tiny particles could become lodged in the ship's ventilation system or be inhaled by crew members.”
Uhura smirks. “Or be eaten by an unwitting Vulcan.”
T'Pring nods, her eyes lingering on Uhura basket full of Valentines. “I suggest, as a matter of public safety, that you desist distributing your Valentine cards. I would be willing to aid you in disposing of them. Perhaps by venting the cards through airlock C facing the Lykasian nebula? This evening at 1900 hours?”
“I don't know.” Uhura grins down at the floor. “That seems like a pretty big job. We might work up an appetite.”
“I am certain I can arrange a meal in my quarters to help you regain your strength.” T'Pring reaches out, running her fingers along Uhura's wrist. “Suffice to say, you will be needing it.”
Goddamn, did Uhura find cultural misunderstandings downright stimulating...